Author Topic: Captain Know-It-All stories  (Read 127920 times)

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rain

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #870 on: April 02, 2013, 08:40:09 PM »
 :-[  I used to live in Mattoon IL - check out Bagelfest - this year should be the 28th fest .... and Lender's Bagel factory is a lot older than that (if I remember correctly)


27th Annual Bagelfest
Lights, Camera, Bagelfest 2012
This year's theme is Lights Camera, Bagelfest

(shoot, the pic didn't copy)
"oh we thank thee lord for the things we need, like the wind and the rain and the apple seed"

Redsoil

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #871 on: April 03, 2013, 04:00:40 AM »
Luci45 - I probably would say it!  Which is one of the reasons I frequent EHell, otherwise the mayhem could be even worse than it is at times!
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StarDrifter

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #872 on: April 03, 2013, 05:57:44 AM »
So apparently a first baby cannot come early.
Ever.
Ever in the history of babies arriving.

Yes, Captain Know-It-All just informed me that there is no way on this Earth that my baby could possibly arrive early (in spite of the family history of babies appearing early and the irregular but getting stronger contractions I've had over the last few days) because first babies are *always* late.

The fact that I'm a first baby and was almost a month premature?

"Your mother must have got her dates mixed up."
... it might frighten them.
Victoria,

Redsoil

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #873 on: April 03, 2013, 06:49:14 AM »
I would think you'd be entirely justified if your waters conveniently broke all over his leg (if you could manage that without too much inconvenience to yourself?)  That'd be awesome!  (Yes, I know it may be slightly difficult to organise, proximity/comfort and all that.  But imagine the kudos online - you'd win the internet for a year!)

BTW - good luck with the new arrival!
Look out... 
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nuit93

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #874 on: April 03, 2013, 11:35:41 AM »
So apparently a first baby cannot come early.
Ever.
Ever in the history of babies arriving.

Yes, Captain Know-It-All just informed me that there is no way on this Earth that my baby could possibly arrive early (in spite of the family history of babies appearing early and the irregular but getting stronger contractions I've had over the last few days) because first babies are *always* late.

The fact that I'm a first baby and was almost a month premature?

"Your mother must have got her dates mixed up."

Slightly on topic...

I heard (and someone correct me if I'm wrong), but it was treated as 'common knowledge' among colonial Americans that first babies sometimes only take 6-7 months to gestate.  A rumor spread by many midwives, presumably to conceal premarital improprieties.

Sneaky colonists ;)

exitzero

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #875 on: April 03, 2013, 12:59:43 PM »
So apparently a first baby cannot come early.
Ever.
Ever in the history of babies arriving.

Yes, Captain Know-It-All just informed me that there is no way on this Earth that my baby could possibly arrive early (in spite of the family history of babies appearing early and the irregular but getting stronger contractions I've had over the last few days) because first babies are *always* late.

The fact that I'm a first baby and was almost a month premature?

"Your mother must have got her dates mixed up."

Slightly on topic...

I heard (and someone correct me if I'm wrong), but it was treated as 'common knowledge' among colonial Americans that first babies sometimes only take 6-7 months to gestate.  A rumor spread by many midwives, presumably to conceal premarital improprieties.

Sneaky colonists ;)

You beat me to it! I was going to say there is a saying in my family (where there seem to be quite a few 10 pound "premature" babies) that a baby takes 9 months, but the first one can come at anytime!

Shalamar

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #876 on: April 03, 2013, 01:40:27 PM »
My boss is being a bit of a CKIA currently about vegetarianism.   Our co-worker Mary announced that her 15-year-old daughter has just decided to become a vegetarian, and my boss is all "Eh, she'll change her mind" and "You watch, she'll probably be sneaking turkey leftovers behind your back."

Meanwhile, my 18-year-old daughter has been a vegetarian for years (she's now vegan), and her 16-year-old sister has also been a vegetarian since 2010 or so.  It's not always a snap decision, or a whim. 

RingTailedLemur

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #877 on: April 03, 2013, 01:50:50 PM »
My boss is being a bit of a CKIA currently about vegetarianism.   Our co-worker Mary announced that her 15-year-old daughter has just decided to become a vegetarian, and my boss is all "Eh, she'll change her mind" and "You watch, she'll probably be sneaking turkey leftovers behind your back."

Meanwhile, my 18-year-old daughter has been a vegetarian for years (she's now vegan), and her 16-year-old sister has also been a vegetarian since 2010 or so.  It's not always a snap decision, or a whim.

I went vegetarian at a similar age in summer 1998, after thinking about it for almost 3 years.  My mother tried to sabotage it but I didn't give in and I'm still veggie!

Sheila Take a Bow

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #878 on: April 03, 2013, 03:29:32 PM »
I once took begining Japanese classes.  The classes were taught by a professor who was born and raised in Japan, and had only recently moved to the U.S.

I took both classes with CKIA, who loved Japanese culture.  And he knew everything about it, so he claimed.  (Never mind that half of his "knowledge" consisted of offensive stereotypes.)  He would frequently try to correct our professor because he told her she didn't really know about what it's like to live in Japan.  He would also try to correct her pronunciation and translation of Japanese words.

He was a joy to have in class.  (He also spent ridiculous times in class telling us how he had been part of the biggest thing in comedy in the 60s and 70s, and he was upset that none of us had heard of him.  He reminded us about 100 times in the course of the six months we were in classes together that he had sold more records than George Carlin.)

jmarvellous

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #879 on: April 03, 2013, 03:34:01 PM »
My boss is being a bit of a CKIA currently about vegetarianism.   Our co-worker Mary announced that her 15-year-old daughter has just decided to become a vegetarian, and my boss is all "Eh, she'll change her mind" and "You watch, she'll probably be sneaking turkey leftovers behind your back."

Meanwhile, my 18-year-old daughter has been a vegetarian for years (she's now vegan), and her 16-year-old sister has also been a vegetarian since 2010 or so.  It's not always a snap decision, or a whim.

I went vegetarian at a similar age in summer 1998, after thinking about it for almost 3 years.  My mother tried to sabotage it but I didn't give in and I'm still veggie!

Heh, same with me --New Year's 1999, and my parents were pretty darn annoyed. I've managed to stick with it for 14 years with nary a turkey sandwich in the meantime.

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #880 on: April 03, 2013, 03:38:02 PM »
So apparently a first baby cannot come early.
Ever.
Ever in the history of babies arriving.

Yes, Captain Know-It-All just informed me that there is no way on this Earth that my baby could possibly arrive early (in spite of the family history of babies appearing early and the irregular but getting stronger contractions I've had over the last few days) because first babies are *always* late.

The fact that I'm a first baby and was almost a month premature?

"Your mother must have got her dates mixed up."

Pif, my first two were early by a couple days but it's never an exact science, even with today's technology of ultrasounds.  My last was a week late. 

Now in the days prior to ultrasounds, I could say it's very possible someone might have gotten their dates mixed up.  I was 3 1/2 weeks late, in 78. 
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

mmswm

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #881 on: April 03, 2013, 04:01:43 PM »
So apparently a first baby cannot come early.
Ever.
Ever in the history of babies arriving.

Yes, Captain Know-It-All just informed me that there is no way on this Earth that my baby could possibly arrive early (in spite of the family history of babies appearing early and the irregular but getting stronger contractions I've had over the last few days) because first babies are *always* late.

The fact that I'm a first baby and was almost a month premature?

"Your mother must have got her dates mixed up."

Pif, my first two were early by a couple days but it's never an exact science, even with today's technology of ultrasounds.  My last was a week late. 

Now in the days prior to ultrasounds, I could say it's very possible someone might have gotten their dates mixed up.  I was 3 1/2 weeks late, in 78.

Mine were all early.  Oldest by 4 weeks, middle by 8 weeks and youngest by 16 weeks.  I got less skilled at the whole gestating thing as time went by.
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

Shalamar

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #882 on: April 03, 2013, 05:06:16 PM »
Sheila Take a Bow, now I must know what that guy's name was.  To think you were in the company of such greatness and didn't appreciate it.  :D

dawnfire

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #883 on: April 03, 2013, 10:58:15 PM »
So apparently a first baby cannot come early.
Ever.
Ever in the history of babies arriving.

Yes, Captain Know-It-All just informed me that there is no way on this Earth that my baby could possibly arrive early (in spite of the family history of babies appearing early and the irregular but getting stronger contractions I've had over the last few days) because first babies are *always* late.

The fact that I'm a first baby and was almost a month premature?

"Your mother must have got her dates mixed up."

I suppose he should have told my eldest son who came several (33) weeks early.  My next son came 5 (35) weeks early and my youngest made it full term (37 weeks) by 2 days. If it follows this pattern my next one will come at 39 weeks :)
« Last Edit: April 03, 2013, 11:03:17 PM by dawnfire »

zyrs

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #884 on: April 04, 2013, 01:45:27 AM »
Sheila Take a Bow, now I must know what that guy's name was.  To think you were in the company of such greatness and didn't appreciate it.  :D

Yes please!  May I get a private message if it would not be too much trouble?