Author Topic: Captain Know-It-All stories  (Read 153006 times)

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bopper

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Re: Captian Know-It-All stories
« Reply #885 on: April 04, 2013, 10:30:51 AM »



But my DH is also boneheaded at some times. He once claimed that the square of any number what the same as number x 2. No no, not number x number, but number x 2. Even when I made him calculate some examples to prove him wrong, he just shifted to 'well, it works for MOST numbers!'. I just told him 'look, I am better at math then you are, you know that. Can't you just take my word for it?' After a lot of bickering I gave him the silent treatment. It took him a long while to say 'well yeah, you're probably right'.


His theory works for all numbers such that n>1, n<3

bopper

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #886 on: April 04, 2013, 10:36:35 AM »
If either was challenged they were also the type to spend hours looking up proof that they were correct and/or laying out in detail their entire logical thought process, so if you dared to have a different opinion you were bludgeoned into agreeing or at least deferring just to get them to stop talking about it. It was always about completely trivial things, too--they'd come back and be like, "See, Smith WAS the shortstop for the Cardinals in 1985!" and people would be like, "Dude, that conversation was three days ago, and it wasn't important to the story anyway."



Some of the guys I eat lunch with start having those conversations and I just whip out my iphone and look it up and say Smith was the shortstop.

2littlemonkeys

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #887 on: April 04, 2013, 11:50:16 AM »
My DH was being a CKIA last night and he's lucky he's still alive, LOL!  It's kind of brain hurty too.  And there's one part I bear responsibility for because I took his word for it and didn't check myself.

We're doing a refi and have to send a metric ton of documents.  We have a fancy all-in-one copier/printer/fax/scanner and he was scanning everything in.  When they were scanned, they were showing up as individual .jpg files.  Since we have to upload these to a website, we needed them to be in one PDF file. Which meant I got to import the .jpgs into a PowerPoint file to make one document and save that as a PDF file.  Not hard but kind of time consuming.  (His machine and software is ancient and while I can convert individual images to PDF just by saving it on my laptop, my Adobe is a read only. I can't build PDFs.)

So last night, we needed to send a couple more things in.  I'd asked before if the scanner had the ability to build jobs because it seemed silly that it only did images and in single files.  "Oh, that's the only way it works."  It's not a top of the line, machine, so I figured he knew what he was talking about.  He's the one that does all the computer setup stuff.  Since I do various forms of formatting at work, I'm the one that makes stuff pretty.

First, he scanned in about 20 pages of a document and wanted me to do the whole conversion thing.  Except this time, he stood over my shoulder and kept telling me I was doing it "wrong."  He wanted me to just drag the jpg over to the slide and be done with it.  I could do that but it would have been small. It was much better to import it and then size it down.  But that was no good either because I wasn't sizing it exactly right (I was just fitting it into the slide space, figuring it was large enough to read and therefore acceptable.  Apparently, it needed to be EXACTLY 8.5x11.   ::)

Then he wanted to take 3 PDFs and make them into one.  Since I don't have the ability to build, I had to pretty much do the same thing.  One of the PDFs was of a document that was 8.5x14.  He wanted it 8.5x11 and insisted I should be able to do this without changing the size of the snapshot (which I also shouldn't have had to do in the first place because I should have just dragged the PDF file into the slide.   ::) ::) ::))  He kept insisting it was 8.5x11 originally even though you could see it clearly wasn't.  I had to print out the original pdf to show him you CAN print to 8.5x11 but the document image will be reduced.  That finally sunk in, LOL.  I reminded him about 10 thousand times that I do this daily at work and I know how to do this. 

So about half way through this delightful process, I mused again how dumb it was that the machine only did single images.  He decided to look at the manual and discovered you can set it up to do PDFs and all in one job.


**HEADDESK**  **HEADDESK**  **HEADDESK**  (and I should have looked myself.  Dumb!)

Since I was having such a hard time doing it all "right," I invited him to rescan everything into PDF files and tell me when he was done and I would upload them.  Then I went to watch Modern Family and eat some pie. 


jedikaiti

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Re: Captian Know-It-All stories
« Reply #888 on: April 04, 2013, 01:37:13 PM »



But my DH is also boneheaded at some times. He once claimed that the square of any number what the same as number x 2. No no, not number x number, but number x 2. Even when I made him calculate some examples to prove him wrong, he just shifted to 'well, it works for MOST numbers!'. I just told him 'look, I am better at math then you are, you know that. Can't you just take my word for it?' After a lot of bickering I gave him the silent treatment. It took him a long while to say 'well yeah, you're probably right'.


His theory works for all numbers integers such that n>1, n<3

:-)
What part of v_e = \sqrt{\frac{2GM}{r}} don't you understand? It's only rocket science!

"The problem with re-examining your brilliant ideas is that more often than not, you discover they are the intellectual equivalent of saying, 'Hold my beer and watch this!'" - Cindy Couture

Shalamar

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #889 on: April 04, 2013, 01:43:25 PM »
Quote
Then I went to watch Modern Family and eat some pie. 

Hee hee.  Pie makes everything better.  Did you save him any?  :)

bansidhe

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #890 on: April 04, 2013, 02:35:53 PM »
My boss is being a bit of a CKIA currently about vegetarianism.   Our co-worker Mary announced that her 15-year-old daughter has just decided to become a vegetarian, and my boss is all "Eh, she'll change her mind" and "You watch, she'll probably be sneaking turkey leftovers behind your back."

Meanwhile, my 18-year-old daughter has been a vegetarian for years (she's now vegan), and her 16-year-old sister has also been a vegetarian since 2010 or so.  It's not always a snap decision, or a whim.

After years of fighting with my parents about the issue*, I became a vegetarian when I was 16. I've been a vegetarian ever since - no turkey at all. I'm now 49.


* This was way back when and a lot of people thought being a vegetarian was unhealthy.  ::)
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2littlemonkeys

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #891 on: April 04, 2013, 04:13:50 PM »
Quote
Then I went to watch Modern Family and eat some pie. 

Hee hee.  Pie makes everything better.  Did you save him any?  :)

No, it was the last piece left from Easter dinner. But he hates that kind anyway. 

Shalamar

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #892 on: April 04, 2013, 04:20:00 PM »
Re my co-worker Mary's daughter's vegetarianism:  I have to watch it or I'll be the annoying CKIA.  Because of my daughters' vegetarianism/veganism, I know a fair bit about the subject, and I'm biting my tongue to keep from bombarding poor Mary with an info dump.

"What kind of cheese does she eat?  Oh, does she know that kind contains rennet?  What's rennet, you ask?  It's usually made from enzymes found in an animal's stomach, and many vegetarians refuse to eat it.  How about Jell-O?  Does she know it contains gelatin, which comes from animal by-products?  Does she eat white sugar?  Did she know it's probably been processed through animal bones?"

You can imagine how much Mary would love me for THAT.  :D

Mel the Redcap

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #893 on: April 04, 2013, 04:47:01 PM »
Posting for the updates.  8)
"Set aphasia to stun!"

Bottlecaps

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #894 on: April 04, 2013, 05:21:10 PM »
I once spent an hour arguing with a former coworker about my own beliefs. She kept saying, "No, that's not what that word means. I can't believe you don't know what your own beliefs are!" (She was the type to argue anything, even if she knew she was wrong, and being a religious studies major, she really did think she knew everything about religion.) It took an hour for her to realize that I really meant what I was saying - "agnostic." (She thought I was mispronouncing/meant "gnostic.") I kind of want to give her a pass, but then again, being a religious studies major, I would have thought she'd know what "agnostic" meant. Sigh.
« Last Edit: April 04, 2013, 05:23:46 PM by Bottlecaps »
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EllenS

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #895 on: April 04, 2013, 06:30:59 PM »
My dad's girlfriend once spent an entire dinner pontificating and correcting the other guests about what Italy is really like, and about German politics.  She has never been outside the U.S.

And the folks we were having dinner with were Germans who had lived a significant period of time in Italy.

I also had a biology teacher in high school read us an article from National Geographic about an important archological discovery of an early hominid (? if that's the right word?) skeleton. The article stated that the subject was female, which was determined by some characterisic of "the head of the femur".

She paused to explain that, "A femur is a small monkey that lives in Africa."

I couldn't help jumping in, since at that time I had not been through the CKIA recovery 12-step program.  But it did not endear me to my classmates.

Tini

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #896 on: April 05, 2013, 05:30:46 AM »
My dad's girlfriend once spent an entire dinner pontificating and correcting the other guests about what Italy is really like, and about German politics.  She has never been outside the U.S.

And the folks we were having dinner with were Germans who had lived a significant period of time in Italy.

I also had a biology teacher in high school read us an article from National Geographic about an important archological discovery of an early hominid (? if that's the right word?) skeleton. The article stated that the subject was female, which was determined by some characterisic of "the head of the femur".

She paused to explain that, "A femur is a small monkey that lives in Africa."

I couldn't help jumping in, since at that time I had not been through the CKIA recovery 12-step program.  But it did not endear me to my classmates.

I have to say that the urge to be a CKIA is never stronger than when I hear someone get words wrong like your biology teacher. The other day the lady behind the butcher's counter in my local supermarket kept on calling the Charolais beef 'Chevrolet'. My inner five-year-old was hopping around like a rubber ball, yelling 'tell her, that's wrong, she can't say that, it's the wrong word, that's a car, mommy, you tell her, she's wrong...' Tiring, I am.

Morticia

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #897 on: April 05, 2013, 08:59:54 AM »
Imagine my inner battle when I was attending a performance and the guy onstage said that Jack the Ripper committed his crimes in the spring of 1888.  I squirmed, but I kept my mouth shut.
Now our mom says she's changed her mind about the devil's brood, they may be evil so she thinks, but at least they're never rude...
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VorFemme

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #898 on: April 05, 2013, 09:17:08 AM »
My dad's girlfriend once spent an entire dinner pontificating and correcting the other guests about what Italy is really like, and about German politics.  She has never been outside the U.S.

And the folks we were having dinner with were Germans who had lived a significant period of time in Italy.

I also had a biology teacher in high school read us an article from National Geographic about an important archological discovery of an early hominid (? if that's the right word?) skeleton. The article stated that the subject was female, which was determined by some characterisic of "the head of the femur".

She paused to explain that, "A femur is a small monkey that lives in Africa."

I couldn't help jumping in, since at that time I had not been through the CKIA recovery 12-step program.  But it did not endear me to my classmates.

I have to say that the urge to be a CKIA is never stronger than when I hear someone get words wrong like your biology teacher. The other day the lady behind the butcher's counter in my local supermarket kept on calling the Charolais beef 'Chevrolet'. My inner five-year-old was hopping around like a rubber ball, yelling 'tell her, that's wrong, she can't say that, it's the wrong word, that's a car, mommy, you tell her, she's wrong...' Tiring, I am.

I thought the small monkey was a lemur.....and I love National Geographic for their archeology stories......my ideal idle time reading material would be a wide screen laptop or LARGE tablet computer with their entire publication inventory (to include next month's issue, please) fed to it........

I have to plead "that's just the way I am" here.......where did I put that collection of National Geographic on CDs that I bought off eBay (it only goes up to December 2000, not May 2013)?
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I say more?

mmswm

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #899 on: April 05, 2013, 10:00:51 AM »
Imagine my inner battle when I was attending a performance and the guy onstage said that Jack the Ripper committed his crimes in the spring of 1888.  I squirmed, but I kept my mouth shut.

People who think they know it all really annoy those of us who do.

(Sorry. Couldn't resist. My inner five year old often has trouble keeping her mouth shut. )
« Last Edit: April 05, 2013, 07:06:19 PM by mmswm »
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