Captain Know-It-All stories

[hermanne]

I remember when I was pregnant with Daughter #2, and my unmarried, childless sister-in-law informed me that I was putting on far too much weight.  Stung, I said "I'm due in a few weeks, and I've only put on about twenty-five pounds.  That's not that much for a pregnant woman."  She scoffed "Who do you think you're fooling?  Babies only weigh about eight pounds, you know.  Nice try."

Plus the placenta, amniotic fluid, extra blood supply, and all the you-know-what people keep dumping on pregnant women.......

My younger sister was very sick her last two months, and she only gained a total of 10 pounds with her first pregnancy.  6.5 pounds of that was baby.

Shalamar, someone tried to tell me that I've gained 'too much weight' in this pregnancy the other day when I was at a wedding... in a dress that I haven't actually fitted into in almost 3 years because I was too big. This person was most upset and accused me of lying when I pointed out that I've actually *lost* 10kgs (about 25 pounds, I think?) during this pregnancy and am still wearing the same jeans and tops that I've owned for years.

I think I broke their brain, because you can't possibly LOSE weight when you're pregnant! (Hint- when you spend the first 4.5 months vomiting up everything you eat and then the rest of the pregnancy craving things like cornflakes and apples rather than chocolate, yes, you can lose weight!)

With me my mom gained 7 pounds and I weighed 7 pounds. She still had the weight from being pregnant with my brother (we're just over a year apart) and she went swimming nearly every day.

[RingTailedLemur]

Lemurs are prosimian primates; they aren't monkeys.

Oops!  Thank you!

[Virg]

RingTailedLemur wrote:

"Yes, we are small monkeys - but we come from Madagascar, not Africa"

And that, boys and girls, is the definition of irony.

Virg

[RingTailedLemur]

RingTailedLemur wrote:

"Yes, we are small monkeys - but we come from Madagascar, not Africa"

And that, boys and girls, is the definition of irony.

Virg

Okay, so I misunderstood something about an animal I think is cute and graciously accepted correction.  I'm not really a lemur, either.  There is no need to shame me over it.

[Virg]

RingTailedLemur, I intended no shame at all.  I just found it ironically funny that a comment about corrections contained a story that led to multiple layers of "But wait..."  I really meant to include iridaceae's comment in that quote but I forgot.  The phrasing is lifted directly from Adam Savage.

Virg

[RingTailedLemur]

Okay, sorry.

[Hillia]

When my  mom was pregnant with me in 1962, she lived on a diet of coffee and cigarettes; she'd have tuna fish for breakfast, one hard boiled egg for lunch.  Her doctor wouldn't 'let' her gain more than I think 14 pounds, because 'he didn't want her coming back after the baby was born complaining about how much weight she gained'.  The best part?  My mother was an RN, and at this point had been managing the recovery room for several years.  But in those days, what Doctor says is gospel.

[gramma dishes]

...   It's like the gaydar, except it works on Christians

Praydar?

LOL!   

[Addy]

When my  mom was pregnant with me in 1962, she lived on a diet of coffee and cigarettes; she'd have tuna fish for breakfast, one hard boiled egg for lunch.  Her doctor wouldn't 'let' her gain more than I think 14 pounds, because 'he didn't want her coming back after the baby was born complaining about how much weight she gained'.  The best part?  My mother was an RN, and at this point had been managing the recovery room for several years.  But in those days, what Doctor says is gospel.

I changed doctors when at my first prenatal visit, he said "we don't like our girls to gain more than 17 or 18 pounds." Yeah, that's not patronizing in any way. 

[gramma dishes]

I changed doctors when at my first prenatal visit, he said "we don't like our girls to gain more than 17 or 18 pounds." Yeah, that's not patronizing in any way. 

   

[Cami]

When my  mom was pregnant with me in 1962, she lived on a diet of coffee and cigarettes; she'd have tuna fish for breakfast, one hard boiled egg for lunch.  Her doctor wouldn't 'let' her gain more than I think 14 pounds, because 'he didn't want her coming back after the baby was born complaining about how much weight she gained'.  The best part?  My mother was an RN, and at this point had been managing the recovery room for several years.  But in those days, what Doctor says is gospel.

My mother was an RN and she followed some realllllly stupid "rules" her doctor laid out. Many years later, she looked back and said, 'CRIVINS! was I thinking? I guess we were so brainwashed in nursing school about doctor=god, that we stopped thinking for ourselves." Amongst his priceless comments:

1. There is no such thing as morning sickness. Any woman who doesn't feel good during her pregnancy is just dramatic and/or a wimp and/or hates her unborn child.
2. Older children hate babies and should be kept away from them at all times. If an older child is left alone with a baby, they may smother it. Hence, when my sister was born, I was only allowed near her once the first year of her life-- at Xmas to take a picture. I have a clear memory of being allowed to stand near her in her bassinet and then being told to get out of the room.

[siamesecat2965]

When my  mom was pregnant with me in 1962, she lived on a diet of coffee and cigarettes; she'd have tuna fish for breakfast, one hard boiled egg for lunch.  Her doctor wouldn't 'let' her gain more than I think 14 pounds, because 'he didn't want her coming back after the baby was born complaining about how much weight she gained'.  The best part?  My mother was an RN, and at this point had been managing the recovery room for several years.  But in those days, what Doctor says is gospel.

I changed doctors when at my first prenatal visit, he said "we don't like our girls to gain more than 17 or 18 pounds." Yeah, that's not patronizing in any way. 

I have a CW, who is quite thin, both pre and post her two kids. when she was pregnant with one of them, her dr. asked if she was having any snacks, and she said yes, and then asked what. She said oh, a piece of fruit, maybe a few crackers, something like that. Now this CW eats very healthily, and doens't have an extra ounce on her. she's actuallly gained some weight sicne she had her kids, and she looks good; she was quite thin before.

Said dr. poo pooed her and said well, if you feel you NEEd a snack, have a tic tac. Yes, she actually said that. CW switched dr.'s shortly after that, but will still retell the "Dr. Tic Tac" story every now nad then,.

[Shalamar]

My ob/gyn took a look at my ultrasound photos and said "Well, looks like you're having a monster."  He meant my baby was larger than usual, but for a horrible moment I thought he meant she was going to be born deformed.   

[kherbert05]

My mother was an RN and she followed some realllllly stupid "rules" her doctor laid out. Many years later, she looked back and said, 'CRIVINS! was I thinking? I guess we were so brainwashed in nursing school about doctor=god, that we stopped thinking for ourselves." Amongst his priceless comments:

1. There is no such thing as morning sickness. Any woman who doesn't feel good during her pregnancy is just dramatic and/or a wimp and/or hates her unborn child.
2. Older children hate babies and should be kept away from them at all times. If an older child is left alone with a baby, they may smother it. Hence, when my sister was born, I was only allowed near her once the first year of her life-- at Xmas to take a picture. I have a clear memory of being allowed to stand near her in her bassinet and then being told to get out of the room.

Yikes - perfect recipe for sibling rivalry without end.

Sis  brought me a present because I had my heart set on an older brother. I decided to let her in the house.

The doctors or nurses at the NICU told my mom I had to be fed ever 2 hours (Under weight to begin with lost weight after birth due to having allergic reaction within a few hours of being born)

The first time she took me to a check up, a friend and neighbor had to drive us because Mom was falling down exhausted (Dad helped but had to work each day that included driving and being in a warehouse - mom insisted he sleep). My doctor told her that she was a smart woman and need to apply common sense to any orders. That she did not need to wake a sleeping baby. The doctors gave mom a script for vallium. Her friends made arrangements to babysit me, while Mom slept. Good thing - Mom took a 1/2 dose and wasn't coherent for 3 days.

The upshot was I was trained from an early age to ask questions about any medical procedure or instructions. I blew more than a few ER doc's and nurse's minds with the questions - including refusing certain medications (with my parents backing) because of a history of negative reactions to sedatives.

[mmswm]

Doctors with god complexes are the worst.  Since I've just moved back to this area, I had to deal with a new ortho when oldest was hospitalized a few weeks ago. I originally went to one hospital because I thought the ortho they'd seen when they were little had retired (he hadn't, but isn't seeing new patients.) Anyway, this new guy was awful.  It was his way or the highway.  At some point the discussion turned to my youngest son and he made some statements as though his word was law without even knowing the whole story.  I looked at him nearly slack-jawed, told him that I no longer felt he could competently care for my children and walked out of the appointment.