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Author Topic: Captain Know-It-All stories  (Read 511311 times)

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ladyknight1

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #930 on: April 09, 2013, 02:37:07 PM »
What is this, Sparta? Were you preparing for your child to leave for battle training?
ďAll that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost."
-J.R.R Tolkien

otterwoman

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #931 on: April 09, 2013, 02:53:04 PM »
But some of the early (particularly the psychology) is scary, to the point of abusiveness. In the twenties, one of the leading lights of "modern thinking about childrearing" did a lot of ranting about the permanent harm mothers did to their children - by kissing them. I think this said more about him then about mothers and babies.
Exactly. One of the other idiot pieces of advice this doctor gave my mother was that when your kid reaches the age of 5, it's time to stop hugging, kissing and cuddling them. So at the age of 5, my  mother and father abruptly withdrew all physical expressions of affection AND had a baby that I was not allowed to go near, but watched them hugging, kissing and cuddling. This was not a good thing for me.

That's horrible! I'm 46, I can still get cuddles from my mom. I hope someone given you all the cuddles you missed.

Kimblee

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #932 on: April 09, 2013, 04:35:51 PM »
But some of the early (particularly the psychology) is scary, to the point of abusiveness. In the twenties, one of the leading lights of "modern thinking about childrearing" did a lot of ranting about the permanent harm mothers did to their children - by kissing them. I think this said more about him then about mothers and babies.
Exactly. One of the other idiot pieces of advice this doctor gave my mother was that when your kid reaches the age of 5, it's time to stop hugging, kissing and cuddling them. So at the age of 5, my  mother and father abruptly withdrew all physical expressions of affection AND had a baby that I was not allowed to go near, but watched them hugging, kissing and cuddling. This was not a good thing for me.

That might be one of the most heartbreaking things I've ever read.

A friend of mine was RECENTLY told to stop nursing her sons at three weeks because after that age its "No better than formula and will make the boys develop perverse fetishes."

Yeah, at 23 months, 23 months,(twins) and 19 months they're all kinda leaning towards weaning but seem to be perfectly normal babies. Well, the youngest eats bugs if he can catch them, but we can't trace that to over-nursing.

On siblings hating one another: When she brought home her 2nd born (2nd daughter) she says she worried slightly about whether her oldest(3-5 years old or so) would be upset by the baby, but figured it'd be ok.

Three months of uneventful life later, she heard Baby giggling and ran in to see why her daughter was having her first laugh... because her big sister stuffed her (padded with blankets and towels) in a fruit box and was dragging her around the living room carpet. When asked why she though this was appropriate behavior with Little Sister, Big Sister responded.

"YOU said she was MY little sister. That means I can play with her. You can't take BACK presents!"

Carotte

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #933 on: April 09, 2013, 04:57:32 PM »
"YOU said she was MY little sister. That means I can play with her. You can't take BACK presents!"

Cute :) but could be dangerous, you have to be really carefull what you say around kids and how they might interpret what you said  ::)

Kimblee

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #934 on: April 09, 2013, 05:08:37 PM »
"YOU said she was MY little sister. That means I can play with her. You can't take BACK presents!"

Cute :) but could be dangerous, you have to be really carefull what you say around kids and how they might interpret what you said  ::)

Thankfully the little tyke was unharmed (her sister actually did a pretty good job of propping her up) and Friend watched carefully for a few minutes so Baby could have another quick ride (the photo/video oppourtunities I'm sure had no bearing on why Baby got another ride) then made them stop.

Until a few days later. The excuse was "Its not a fruit box! Its a kitty pan!" (CLEAN kitty litter box.)

Both girls survived to this day, and are STILL masters of "Well what YOU said was [X] and this is actually [Y]" Most recently(last week), they rode a cow (over three miles) to the convience store for soda because their mother told them they couldn't ride their bikes, it was too wet. Apparently because cows do not rust, and this cow is very understanding.... It probably would've been okay if they hadn't taken the 19 month old along. ("He likes riding the cow! We held on!")

After having those two girls, her continued expansion of her family is proof of either bravery or insanity.

jedikaiti

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #935 on: April 09, 2013, 05:14:41 PM »
"YOU said she was MY little sister. That means I can play with her. You can't take BACK presents!"

Cute :) but could be dangerous, you have to be really carefull what you say around kids and how they might interpret what you said  ::)

I was reading a biography of Albert Einstein, and apparently when his parents had explained about the baby sibling that was to arrive, he got the notion that it was some kind of wonderful toy. When he finally got to meet his little sister, he asked, "Yes, but where are the wheels?"
What part of v_e = \sqrt{\frac{2GM}{r}} don't you understand? It's only rocket science!

"The problem with re-examining your brilliant ideas is that more often than not, you discover they are the intellectual equivalent of saying, 'Hold my beer and watch this!'" - Cindy Couture

mmswm

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #936 on: April 09, 2013, 05:20:50 PM »
"YOU said she was MY little sister. That means I can play with her. You can't take BACK presents!"

Cute :) but could be dangerous, you have to be really carefull what you say around kids and how they might interpret what you said  ::)

Thankfully the little tyke was unharmed (her sister actually did a pretty good job of propping her up) and Friend watched carefully for a few minutes so Baby could have another quick ride (the photo/video oppourtunities I'm sure had no bearing on why Baby got another ride) then made them stop.

Until a few days later. The excuse was "Its not a fruit box! Its a kitty pan!" (CLEAN kitty litter box.)

Both girls survived to this day, and are STILL masters of "Well what YOU said was [X] and this is actually [Y]" Most recently(last week), they rode a cow (over three miles) to the convience store for soda because their mother told them they couldn't ride their bikes, it was too wet. Apparently because cows do not rust, and this cow is very understanding.... It probably would've been okay if they hadn't taken the 19 month old along. ("He likes riding the cow! We held on!")

After having those two girls, her continued expansion of her family is proof of either bravery or insanity.

I'm laughing so hard there are tears rolling down my face and my belly hurts. And I thought my boys were bad.
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

Thipu1

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #937 on: April 09, 2013, 05:37:38 PM »
Magazine 'health' advice from the middle of the 20th century can be very scary. 

I remember looking through old issues of 'Vogue' for something else and stumbling across 'The Healthy Man Diet'.  This consisted of almost nothing but red meat and plenty of it. 

A suggested lunch included a full pound of steak and several alcoholic drinks. Vegetables were verboten. 

Of course, readers of 'Vogue' were expected to have the money to afford this sort of thing.  You have to wonder if they also expected to inherit the wad when the 'Healthy Man' dropped dead after such a diet.     

Elfmama

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #938 on: April 09, 2013, 06:09:28 PM »
"YOU said she was MY little sister. That means I can play with her. You can't take BACK presents!"

Cute :) but could be dangerous, you have to be really carefull what you say around kids and how they might interpret what you said  ::)

Thankfully the little tyke was unharmed (her sister actually did a pretty good job of propping her up) and Friend watched carefully for a few minutes so Baby could have another quick ride (the photo/video oppourtunities I'm sure had no bearing on why Baby got another ride) then made them stop.
;D   One of my favorite memories is watching grandsons M (age 6) and B (5) playing with B's little brother J (9 months.) M and B were superheroes, and J was cast as the villain.  The playpen was cast variously as the jail, the villain's Super-Secret Fortress, and the prison cells below the S-S F.  The big boys spent a good hour and a half playing out a movie or video game (or combination thereof) dragging J into and out of the playpen, occasionally hopping in themselves.  "Oh no, the Joker has escaped from jail!" And they would drag him out.   J giggled madly the whole time.  He'd crawl around until he was captured again and put back into the playpen.  If he picked up a toy, it was an Evil Secret Weapon. 
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Common sense is not a gift, but a curse.  Because then
you have to deal with all the people who don't have it.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

kherbert05

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #939 on: April 09, 2013, 06:13:19 PM »
"YOU said she was MY little sister. That means I can play with her. You can't take BACK presents!"

Cute :) but could be dangerous, you have to be really carefull what you say around kids and how they might interpret what you said  ::)

Thankfully the little tyke was unharmed (her sister actually did a pretty good job of propping her up) and Friend watched carefully for a few minutes so Baby could have another quick ride (the photo/video oppourtunities I'm sure had no bearing on why Baby got another ride) then made them stop.

Until a few days later. The excuse was "Its not a fruit box! Its a kitty pan!" (CLEAN kitty litter box.)

Both girls survived to this day, and are STILL masters of "Well what YOU said was [X] and this is actually [Y]" Most recently(last week), they rode a cow (over three miles) to the convience store for soda because their mother told them they couldn't ride their bikes, it was too wet. Apparently because cows do not rust, and this cow is very understanding.... It probably would've been okay if they hadn't taken the 19 month old along. ("He likes riding the cow! We held on!")

After having those two girls, her continued expansion of her family is proof of either bravery or insanity.
I'm betting those two could find a loophole in a brick wall.
Don't Teach Them For Your Past. Teach Them For Their Future

Minmom3

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #940 on: April 09, 2013, 08:08:43 PM »
"YOU said she was MY little sister. That means I can play with her. You can't take BACK presents!"

Cute :) but could be dangerous, you have to be really carefull what you say around kids and how they might interpret what you said  ::)

Thankfully the little tyke was unharmed (her sister actually did a pretty good job of propping her up) and Friend watched carefully for a few minutes so Baby could have another quick ride (the photo/video oppourtunities I'm sure had no bearing on why Baby got another ride) then made them stop.

Until a few days later. The excuse was "Its not a fruit box! Its a kitty pan!" (CLEAN kitty litter box.)

Both girls survived to this day, and are STILL masters of "Well what YOU said was [X] and this is actually [Y]" Most recently(last week), they rode a cow (over three miles) to the convience store for soda because their mother told them they couldn't ride their bikes, it was too wet. Apparently because cows do not rust, and this cow is very understanding.... It probably would've been okay if they hadn't taken the 19 month old along. ("He likes riding the cow! We held on!")

After having those two girls, her continued expansion of her family is proof of either bravery or insanity.

When I was pregnant the last time, We were looking for a condo about an hour South of where we then lived.  Not wanting to drag along small children, we left them with BIL & SIL, who had a son 5 months older than DD#2 (DD#1 was 3, DD#1 was nearly 2, and Nephew would have been 2).  The time we did it, SIL took all 3 children to the park.  I heard ALL about it.  Apparently DD#2 gave SIL a whole new view on girl behavior....  DD#1 was not physically brave when she was small.  DD#2 had NO fear.  #1 would follow her little sister up and around all the big kid climbing things at the park, but would never go on them alone.  At the park was one of those half circle ladders that goes up and over and back down.  DD#2 went up and down with out ever switching her feet around, so that at the end of the second side, she was hanging by her toes.  Scared the bejeebers out of my SIL.
Double MIL now; not yet a Grandma.  Owner of Lard Butt Noelle, kitteh extraordinaire!

magician5

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #941 on: April 09, 2013, 09:39:18 PM »
What is this, Sparta? Were you preparing for your child to leave for battle training?

"It's tough trying to get into a good college. Now go off to preschool, my child, and come back carrying your notebook ... or on it."
« Last Edit: April 09, 2013, 09:43:40 PM by magician5 »
There is no 'way to peace.' Peace is the way.

magician5

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #942 on: April 09, 2013, 09:42:17 PM »
A friend of mine was RECENTLY told to stop nursing her sons at three weeks because after that age its "No better than formula and will make the boys develop perverse fetishes."

Now wait a minute ... you come into this world and the first thing they do is jam a breast into your face. Then for the rest of your life, they try to prevent your mentioning them or seeing them.
There is no 'way to peace.' Peace is the way.

mmswm

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #943 on: April 09, 2013, 09:45:55 PM »
A friend of mine was RECENTLY told to stop nursing her sons at three weeks because after that age its "No better than formula and will make the boys develop perverse fetishes."

Now wait a minute ... you come into this world and the first thing they do is jam a breast into your face. Then for the rest of your life, they try to prevent your mentioning them or seeing them.

My initial smart-alec remark in response to this would probably get me banned.  >:D

(And no worries, it wasn't an insult to magician5, but a remark that highlights the idiocy of what Kimblee's friend was told)
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

Twik

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #944 on: April 09, 2013, 11:24:48 PM »
I never really considered a man's interest in breasts to be a "perverse fetish". I thought it was the default.
"The sky's the limit. Your sky. Your limit. Now, let's dance!"