Author Topic: Captain Know-It-All stories  (Read 146402 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Minmom3

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2420
Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #960 on: April 09, 2013, 09:08:43 PM »
"YOU said she was MY little sister. That means I can play with her. You can't take BACK presents!"

Cute :) but could be dangerous, you have to be really carefull what you say around kids and how they might interpret what you said  ::)

Thankfully the little tyke was unharmed (her sister actually did a pretty good job of propping her up) and Friend watched carefully for a few minutes so Baby could have another quick ride (the photo/video oppourtunities I'm sure had no bearing on why Baby got another ride) then made them stop.

Until a few days later. The excuse was "Its not a fruit box! Its a kitty pan!" (CLEAN kitty litter box.)

Both girls survived to this day, and are STILL masters of "Well what YOU said was [X] and this is actually [Y]" Most recently(last week), they rode a cow (over three miles) to the convience store for soda because their mother told them they couldn't ride their bikes, it was too wet. Apparently because cows do not rust, and this cow is very understanding.... It probably would've been okay if they hadn't taken the 19 month old along. ("He likes riding the cow! We held on!")

After having those two girls, her continued expansion of her family is proof of either bravery or insanity.

When I was pregnant the last time, We were looking for a condo about an hour South of where we then lived.  Not wanting to drag along small children, we left them with BIL & SIL, who had a son 5 months older than DD#2 (DD#1 was 3, DD#1 was nearly 2, and Nephew would have been 2).  The time we did it, SIL took all 3 children to the park.  I heard ALL about it.  Apparently DD#2 gave SIL a whole new view on girl behavior....  DD#1 was not physically brave when she was small.  DD#2 had NO fear.  #1 would follow her little sister up and around all the big kid climbing things at the park, but would never go on them alone.  At the park was one of those half circle ladders that goes up and over and back down.  DD#2 went up and down with out ever switching her feet around, so that at the end of the second side, she was hanging by her toes.  Scared the bejeebers out of my SIL.
Mother to children and fuzz butts....

magician5

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3468
Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #961 on: April 09, 2013, 10:39:18 PM »
What is this, Sparta? Were you preparing for your child to leave for battle training?

"It's tough trying to get into a good college. Now go off to preschool, my child, and come back carrying your notebook ... or on it."
« Last Edit: April 09, 2013, 10:43:40 PM by magician5 »
There is no 'way to peace.' Peace is the way.

magician5

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3468
Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #962 on: April 09, 2013, 10:42:17 PM »
A friend of mine was RECENTLY told to stop nursing her sons at three weeks because after that age its "No better than formula and will make the boys develop perverse fetishes."

Now wait a minute ... you come into this world and the first thing they do is jam a breast into your face. Then for the rest of your life, they try to prevent your mentioning them or seeing them.
There is no 'way to peace.' Peace is the way.

mmswm

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2176
Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #963 on: April 09, 2013, 10:45:55 PM »
A friend of mine was RECENTLY told to stop nursing her sons at three weeks because after that age its "No better than formula and will make the boys develop perverse fetishes."

Now wait a minute ... you come into this world and the first thing they do is jam a breast into your face. Then for the rest of your life, they try to prevent your mentioning them or seeing them.

My initial smart-alec remark in response to this would probably get me banned.  >:D

(And no worries, it wasn't an insult to magician5, but a remark that highlights the idiocy of what Kimblee's friend was told)
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

Twik

  • A Pillar of the Forum
  • *****
  • Posts: 28457
Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #964 on: April 10, 2013, 12:24:48 AM »
I never really considered a man's interest in breasts to be a "perverse fetish". I thought it was the default.
My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."

mbbored

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 5315
    • Budget Grad Student
Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #965 on: April 10, 2013, 12:44:15 AM »
I watched last night's NCAA men's basketball championship game with the world's greatest authority on basketball. Too bad she had never watched a single game before. I don't mind a person not knowing about a sport (heaven knows I know next to nothing about any sport except college basketball) but don't constantly correct people who are lifelong fans.

For the record, it's turn overs, not turn arounds. It's fouling out, not getting a red card. No, the referee can not arbitrarily decide to give a person 4 or 5 free throws. And no basket is worth 4 points, even if a person shot it from behind the half court line (which did not happen in last night's game.)

AngelicGamer

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4020
Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #966 on: April 10, 2013, 01:11:26 AM »
I watched last night's NCAA men's basketball championship game with the world's greatest authority on basketball. Too bad she had never watched a single game before. I don't mind a person not knowing about a sport (heaven knows I know next to nothing about any sport except college basketball) but don't constantly correct people who are lifelong fans.

For the record, it's turn overs, not turn arounds. It's fouling out, not getting a red card. No, the referee can not arbitrarily decide to give a person 4 or 5 free throws. And no basket is worth 4 points, even if a person shot it from behind the half court line (which did not happen in last night's game.)

I agree with all you said but I do think that if someone can complete a shot from half court, it should be more than three.  However, that is my own mindset and not anything official.




"Life's tough, huh?  And then you die." ~ Buck, the Magnificent Seven.

TootsNYC

  • A Pillar of the Forum
  • *****
  • Posts: 30545
Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #967 on: April 10, 2013, 07:51:49 AM »
When I was in high school, a guy from our "currently being thoroughly trounced" team made a last-ditch heave toward the basket from beyond half court.

It didn't hit the basket--it went into one of the open-from-the-top windows, teetered in the edge, and fell out.

The *OPPOSING* team started chanting, "five points, five points."

It wouldn't have helped us, but it was cool that they thought it was cool.

Margo

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1563
Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #968 on: April 12, 2013, 08:59:20 AM »
Magazine 'health' advice from the middle of the 20th century can be very scary. 

I remember looking through old issues of 'Vogue' for something else and stumbling across 'The Healthy Man Diet'.  This consisted of almost nothing but red meat and plenty of it. 

A suggested lunch included a full pound of steak and several alcoholic drinks. Vegetables were verboten. 

Of course, readers of 'Vogue' were expected to have the money to afford this sort of thing.  You have to wonder if they also expected to inherit the wad when the 'Healthy Man' dropped dead after such a diet.     

Have you ever read Mrs Beeton's advice about pregnancy and child care? I don't remember all the details, but I'm pretty sure that expectant and nursing mothers are warned to avoid fruit and vegetables like the plague, and to build themselves up with beer. A wet-nurse should be entitled to Porter (beer again) in addition to her wages, but should not be encouraged to drink spirits.

I think she does concede that opening a window and  allowing a little air into the room once a day  probably won't kill a healthy person. Although a mother who has been subsisting on plain boiled rice and beef tea for 7 months might wish it would.

Cami

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1307
Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #969 on: April 12, 2013, 10:47:55 AM »
What is this, Sparta? Were you preparing for your child to leave for battle training?
Ha!

When my mother told me this tidbit, it was when my daughter was a few months old. I was holding her and gave her a kiss and my mother commented that, "It's such a shame that when she turns five, you'll have to stop that."  I questioned this idiocy and she told me of this advice and we had QUITE the conversation as a result, which led to her belatedlly realizing how stupid her doctor had been.  My mother was a reasonably intelligent person with a college education, but she fell into this trap of believing experts over some really basic common sense.

And thanks to those of you who expressed sympathy.

Thipu1

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 6761
Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #970 on: April 12, 2013, 10:54:16 AM »
When my mother was a child she was considered 'painfully thin'.

  She lived only about a block away from her primary school and the doctor prescribed that she should have lunch at home.  The lunch was to include a bottle of stout (yes, it was the alcoholic kind) to 'build her up'. 

This was prescribed for a child of 7 or 8 years old. 

It's a wonder that my mother didn't fall asleep in afternoon classes. 


RooRoo

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 695
  • Iím out of my mind. Please leave a message.
Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #971 on: April 13, 2013, 01:14:51 PM »
Even doctors...

I recently had cataract surgery, one eye first, the other two weeks later. The ophthalmologist prescribed steroid drops for my eyes, to continue for six weeks.

1. I have been told by more than one doctor to avoid steroids - they cause a rise in my fasting blood glucose. I told him this.

2. The prescribing information that comes with the bottle says, specifically, to use them for two weeks after cataract surgery (not six).

At the  two week checkup for the second eye, I asked him if I could stop taking them, because they were irritating my eyes. He said no, for various good-sounding reasons. So I kept on, until my eyes felt sunburned all the time. I stopped two days ago, resolving that if my eyes and my glucose levels didn't get better, I'd start again.

Today, my eyes feel normal, and my fasting blood glucose is back where it should be - 20-30 mg/dl lower than it has been since I started those drops.

Yeah, doc, I'm sure that keeping my  eyes irritated and painful for 6 weeks would do them a lot of good. And, may I remind you that uncontrolled diabetes causes blindness, among other things?  >:(
"Someday we must write a book of Etiquette for sensible people," said Mrs. Morland, "though apart from a few rules it really boils down to an educated mind and a kind heart." ~ Angela Thirkell, Never Too Late

ladyknight1

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 7346
  • Operating the logic hammer since 1987.
Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #972 on: April 13, 2013, 03:44:09 PM »
RooRoo, I would seek out an opthamologist that specializes in patients with diabetes. That is bad medicine.

mbbored

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 5315
    • Budget Grad Student
Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #973 on: May 27, 2013, 12:38:39 PM »
I was at a cook-out and had this boggling conversation.

Friend: mbbored, I'm headed to Charlotte next week for work.
CKIA1: Oh, that's part of what NC calls "The Triangle;" it's a very pretty area.
Me: Actually, Charlotte's not part of the Triangle but it is a nice area.
CKIA1: Yes, it is.
Me: Well I grew up, went to college and worked in the Triangle, so I'm pretty sure I know what cities it contains.
CKIA1: Fine, what do think the Triangle is?
Me: Raleigh, Durham, Chapel Hill.
CKIA1: And Charlotte.
Me: No. You see, those three cities are all right by each other and adding Charlotte would add a fourth point several hours away.
CKIA2: Yeah, and in between those three towns is a bunch of computer and biotech companies that built the colleges in those towns.
Me: Actually, the universities predate the Research Triangle Park and are a large part of why RTP got built.
CKIA2: No, everybody knows North Carolina didn't have any colleges until the 1980s.
Me: OK, you are definitely wrong about that. UNC is the oldest public university in the country and opened in the 1790s.
CKIA2: We'll have to agree to disagree.
CKIA1: And I still really think Charlotte is part of the Triangle.
Friend: Anyways, as I was saying, I'm headed to Charlotte this week for work. Got anything I should try while I'm there?
« Last Edit: May 27, 2013, 12:56:01 PM by mbbored »

Diane AKA Traska

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4521
  • Or you can just call me Diane. (NE USA EHellion)
Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #974 on: May 27, 2013, 12:47:29 PM »
I hate when people "agree to disagree" about facts.  You can agree to that all you want, you're still wrong.
Location:
Philadelphia, PA