General Etiquette > Family and Children

Dealing with a mom that lies

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jfulle5:
Ok here is the deal, the day before Christmas I get in a fight with my mom over how long I can stay at her house on Christmas day (it's a four hour round trip, we have two other places to go afterwards) so I say we can only about 2 hours. She hangs up on me and an email fight ensues, where I say "if you don't want me to come I wont" and she calls me the next morning and says "come and open presents and that's it." Skip forward to Christmas morning I open my brothers present to me and it's clearly items from my mom's back room (it's Mary Kay and my mom sells it) and a dusty old candle. I'm concerned that there is something wrong between me and my brother so after I leave I call her to ask what is wrong and she says "oh nothing he just didn't know what to get you so instead of $20 I told him to give you this smell good stuff I have." she knows I hate it and I can tell there is more to the story so I call my sister. She says my mom called and told everyone that I wasn't coming (which I never said) so not to get you anything. When your brother showed up and saw you were there he felt bad so mom said she had extra gifts she could give you.
Ok so here are my questions:
-How do I confront my mom that she lied twice
-What do I tell my brother? Should I tell him that I know what happened and its ok he just should have gotten me nothing at all instead of that?
Bah-humbug

Lisbeth:
I think I'd let it go as far as your brother is concerned.

Concerning your mother: Never accept another invitation from her again.

fklwmn:
You tell your brother thank you for thinking of you and for the lovely gift. End of story. You can tellhim you know what happened, but don't say he should have given you nothing rather than that, he obviously wanted to have something for you, but at no notice, it was all he could come up with. And probably mom directed him toward something that she knew you didn't really like in a PA move.

As for confronting your mom... will it do any good? Or will she only deny it and turn it into a he-sadi-she-said fest? If you really feel the need to do so then I'd say something along the lines of "Mom, I know that you told everyone I wasn't going to be at christmas this year and not to bring me a gift. I also know that in lying to everyone, you put Brother in an awkward position that made him feel like he had no choice other than giving me a gift from your back room. I'm not sure why you put so much effort into trying to ruin my christmas, but I wanted to let you know that you were not successful. I got my joy from the time I got to share with the family on Christmas, and it had nothing to do with the gifts that I recieved."

Lauren:
Shouldn't your brothers present have been bought beforehand?

madmusician:
My mom lies too. There's nothing you can do about it, but let the other sibs know that unless you let them know YOURSELF that you won't be at a function, no matter what mom says, you WILL be there. I'm sure they'll understand.

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