I'm at the end of my rope with this woman. I just got a voice mail from her saying she is going to seek legal custody or at least visitation and that she'll do anything to make my life miserable...wow I'm beyond knowing how to handle her. My car is in her name and she's trying to repo it now. (It's a 99, my high school graduation present then she made me pay for it) If she repo's it I'm actually ok with it because it's one less thing she can hold over my head...
She'll have a very hard and expensive, if not impossible time, getting custody or visitation. To get custody of your daughter first your daughter would have to be removed from your care by your local child protective agency. She might be able to get them to come check on her but they will pretty quickly be able to tell it's a nuisance call, and they have far worse pressing needs.
Secondly, she can't just "get" visitation. That's a myth. The courts have ruled that if the parents choose not to have interaction with grandparents that's not a legal right for the grandparents. If one parent is deceased, the grandparents may sue for visitation, but the burden of proof is very, very high. (the parents of the deceased parent.)
IF you divorce, WHEN you get divorced, one of the parents can assign their visitation rights to their parents in case of their own death. But that has to be done at the time of the divorce custody settlements, and only with the agreement of the divorcing parent. If the divorcing parent doesn't agree to it, forget about it.
You, however, CAN file a restraining order on her. It's not the most enforceable thing (as domestic abuse cases show) but it does give you some leverage to use against her.
I think once she talks to a lawyer the bluster about the custody will die a rather death.
Good luck, don't let her words get to you, and hugs. (())