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Author Topic: Ruining Childhood-Responses needed!!!  (Read 6816 times)

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Alida

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Re: Ruining Childhood-Responses needed!!!
« Reply #15 on: December 04, 2010, 07:35:32 PM »
I was not raised with Santa and neither was DD. Most did not even realize this, though, because it was not something we discussed with others. DD knew not to tell others.  She was very familiar with the story of St. Nicholas' generosity and what it represents.

She likes the Belsnickle that she learned about living here better, though ;)

ETA: For responses? The few times it was questioned, we just said, "This works for us." If they press, then I told them the story of how my coworker's son responded when he learned the Santa was not an actual person with flying reindeer.
« Last Edit: December 04, 2010, 10:30:35 PM by Alida »

CarolineMae

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Re: Ruining Childhood-Responses needed!!!
« Reply #16 on: December 04, 2010, 08:16:34 PM »

Oh, and an aside - I respect your decision but I do disagree with your assertion that belief in Santa brings along "the gimmees".  It never happened here - our kids never asked for expensive stuff, either before or after Santa.  Christmas has always been pretty low-key in our household.

I shouldve said in most cases I've seen. Santa leads to I want "a b c d e f g" and ive been good!!!!!!

In the end, it's about the birth of Jesus.

CarolineMae

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Re: Ruining Childhood-Responses needed!!!
« Reply #17 on: December 04, 2010, 08:19:04 PM »
Thanks for all the responses. I don't go around telling people we are not celebrating Santa. People will mention Santa and I just say, oh not for us! Or family knew we were deciding about the Santa situation. :)

PaintingPastelPrincess

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Re: Ruining Childhood-Responses needed!!!
« Reply #18 on: December 04, 2010, 08:25:14 PM »
Thanks for all the responses. I don't go around telling people we are not celebrating Santa. People will mention Santa and I just say, oh not for us! Or family knew we were deciding about the Santa situation. :)

May I suggest that rather than saying "Oh, not for us!" you bean dip where possible instead?

Them: I've finally finished all the shopping, thank goodness! But the kids will be thrilled, they're so looking forward to Santa's visit! Have you done all your shopping yet?
You: Yes, it's such a busy time of year!  I've been avoiding the stores lately, they've been so crowded! 
Them: I know what you mean! It's worth it though.  Are your kids exited yet?
You: Right now they're very excited about the baking we're doing later today.  I promised they could taste test the cookies. 

And so on. I'm tired and probably not making my point well, but I don't think the topic would necessarily need to come up unless you were asked directly or interjected your belief on the subject yourself.  :)

Wendy Moira Angela Pan

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Re: Ruining Childhood-Responses needed!!!
« Reply #19 on: December 04, 2010, 10:22:12 PM »

Oh, and an aside - I respect your decision but I do disagree with your assertion that belief in Santa brings along "the gimmees".  It never happened here - our kids never asked for expensive stuff, either before or after Santa.  Christmas has always been pretty low-key in our household.

I shouldve said in most cases I've seen. Santa leads to I want "a b c d e f g" and ive been good!!!!!!

In the end, it's about the birth of Jesus.

I think I wouldn't put it that way to other people, if I were you. Probably most people who bring up Santa are just trying to make innocent conversation about something they imagine you have in common. If a person is asking about Santa, they probably do it with their family, so saying the Santa story leads to greedy children or distracts from the real meaning of Christmas might come off critical or preachy. I'd try to be more neutral.

If people get weird with you about not doing Santa, just tell them that you know it's what's best for your family, and change the subject. Ask them if they've started Christmas shopping or whatever.


SportsFan88

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Re: Ruining Childhood-Responses needed!!!
« Reply #20 on: December 04, 2010, 11:05:23 PM »
I was not raised with Santa and neither was DD. Most did not even realize this, though, because it was not something we discussed with others. DD knew not to tell others.  She was very familiar with the story of St. Nicholas' generosity and what it represents.

She likes the Belsnickle that she learned about living here better, though ;)

ETA: For responses? The few times it was questioned, we just said, "This works for us." If they press, then I told them the story of how my coworker's son responded when he learned the Santa was not an actual person with flying reindeer.

And now I'm curious.... :)

My mother once had to stop a child from telling a entire Sunday School class that Santa wasn't real. The kid kept insisting 'but it's a lie' and I think there was a discussion about how it wasn't his place to tell the other kids that.

Well behaved women rarely make history ~ Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
America is the land of opportunity, not entitlement.

Alida

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Re: Ruining Childhood-Responses needed!!!
« Reply #21 on: December 04, 2010, 11:10:31 PM »
I was not raised with Santa and neither was DD. Most did not even realize this, though, because it was not something we discussed with others. DD knew not to tell others.  She was very familiar with the story of St. Nicholas' generosity and what it represents.

She likes the Belsnickle that she learned about living here better, though ;)

ETA: For responses? The few times it was questioned, we just said, "This works for us." If they press, then I told them the story of how my coworker's son responded when he learned the Santa was not an actual person with flying reindeer.

And now I'm curious.... :)

My mother once had to stop a child from telling a entire Sunday School class that Santa wasn't real. The kid kept insisting 'but it's a lie' and I think there was a discussion about how it wasn't his place to tell the other kids that.

When a parent questioned our decision, I would tell them how distraught my co-worker was after his son found out. That little boy did not believe anything his parents told him for a little over a year afterwards. It was heartbreaking for them, to feel they had lost their son's trust.  That happened while I was pregnant with DD, and made me all the more certain we had chosen the right path for our family.

SportsFan88

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Re: Ruining Childhood-Responses needed!!!
« Reply #22 on: December 04, 2010, 11:59:17 PM »
I was not raised with Santa and neither was DD. Most did not even realize this, though, because it was not something we discussed with others. DD knew not to tell others.  She was very familiar with the story of St. Nicholas' generosity and what it represents.

She likes the Belsnickle that she learned about living here better, though ;)

ETA: For responses? The few times it was questioned, we just said, "This works for us." If they press, then I told them the story of how my coworker's son responded when he learned the Santa was not an actual person with flying reindeer.

And now I'm curious.... :)

My mother once had to stop a child from telling a entire Sunday School class that Santa wasn't real. The kid kept insisting 'but it's a lie' and I think there was a discussion about how it wasn't his place to tell the other kids that.

When a parent questioned our decision, I would tell them how distraught my co-worker was after his son found out. That little boy did not believe anything his parents told him for a little over a year afterwards. It was heartbreaking for them, to feel they had lost their son's trust.  That happened while I was pregnant with DD, and made me all the more certain we had chosen the right path for our family.

Wow, that's so sad. I admit I had been thinking something funny.

A friend told a story once of how when she was three, apparently she asked if Santa wasn't real. Her mother, not wanting to lie to her, said no. At that point the little girl yelled 'you're lying!' and she continued to believe until the appropriate age.

Well behaved women rarely make history ~ Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
America is the land of opportunity, not entitlement.

Jolie_kitten

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Re: Ruining Childhood-Responses needed!!!
« Reply #23 on: December 05, 2010, 12:59:40 AM »
Maybe you can say, "There are many ways to make Christmas special for kids. Santa is really just the idea that someone is spoiling you on Christmas morning, isn't it?"

That's what my mom told me, when I figured out that Santa wasn't real.
"Sure, Santa's real!" she said. "Santa is when someone tries really hard to give you something really special on Christmas, and to make you feel tingly with anticipation for Christmas morning. That hasn't changed."

I really really really like this :)
Where there is cake there is hope. And there is always cake ;)

magician5

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Re: Ruining Childhood-Responses needed!!!
« Reply #24 on: December 05, 2010, 05:00:32 PM »
Santa is known (and his "down the chimney Christmas Eve" thing) in a tiny minority of countries, and Santa analogs (including the Netherlands' "Sinterklaas" and his black slave [yes you read that right] "Black Pete") in only a handful of others. I understand that the mania is much milder in Australia, where only a few gifts for children are the norm, followed by a trip to the beach to get eaten by sharks (it's full Summer there).

So I guess most of the kids in the world have their Christmas ruined ... golly, we're so sure our way is the only way.
There is no 'way to peace.' Peace is the way.

Iris

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Re: Ruining Childhood-Responses needed!!!
« Reply #25 on: December 05, 2010, 05:57:41 PM »
I understand that the mania is much milder in Australia, where only a few gifts for children are the norm, followed by a trip to the beach to get eaten by sharks (it's full Summer there).

Hey! I've never been eaten by a shark  :)

But yes, Santa does tend to bring smaller presents (in a stocking) and the big things come from mum and dad. There has been a bit of a move by some parents towards having santa bring big stuff, but I don't like it personally. Still, up to them I guess.

My kids know I won't lie to them if they ask about Santa. So they don't ask.  ;)

On the OP - the only people I've known who didn't do the 'santa thing' also didn't do mother's or father's day (it's a capitalist plot, don'cha'know) or make a fuss about birthdays or really do anything at all that wasn't worthy and serious and intellectual. And yes, their children were rather cheerless. So maybe this is the baggage people bring to the table when you say you don't do santa. Surely if they know your family they'd know this isn't the case and if they don't know your family their baggage is their own problem.
"Can't do anything with children, can you?" the woman said.

Poirot thought you could, but forebore to say so.

DynoMite

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Re: Ruining Childhood-Responses needed!!!
« Reply #26 on: December 05, 2010, 09:54:47 PM »
I wasn't raised with Santa, DH was, and he's the one that adamantly refuses to even have a Santa decoration in the house. I have one that I put out, and that's only because my grandmother gave it to me, under the assumption that it was the Belschnikel (apologies, I don't know how to do the actual characters required for the name). And DH's mom signs all their presents to our family "Love, Santa." I guess old habits die hard. The DynoBoys will know that some people believe in Santa, but that we don't believe in him, while at the same time not spoiling it for other kids/parents.

When DH's one relative was aghast (not to us, but to FIL) I just ignored it. It wasn't even spoken to us directly, so I didn't bother explaining anything.

Oh, and for the record, my childhood wasn't ruined at all. ;)

wheeitsme

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Re: Ruining Childhood-Responses needed!!!
« Reply #27 on: December 05, 2010, 10:50:35 PM »
You're fine.  Destroying their childhood...Phhht.  They have loving parents who make sure they feel special.  A lot of cultures have gone centuries without Santa.  Some of them still do.  Their kids have wonderful childhoods.  

Heck, as the 4th child, it was pretty obvious awfully young that he wasn't real.  Didn't bother me.  I still had a wonderful childhood.  I just knew to tell my Mom what I wanted from "Santa".  And I knew that a couple presents under the tree would say from "Santa".  We all knew the facts, and enjoyed playing the game.  But it never bothered me that Santa wasn't really real.  I think I felt more loved knowing that it was my parents.
« Last Edit: December 05, 2010, 10:52:51 PM by wheeitsme »

Lashley

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Re: Ruining Childhood-Responses needed!!!
« Reply #28 on: December 06, 2010, 12:53:56 AM »
It's ridiculous that people say you're ruining childhood. We were raised with Santa, but no one ever lied to us when we asked if he was real. My mom just said that she and dad are Santa, and that as long as we lived at home, "Santa" would still come. It's just the word she uses as an excuse to give us a few presents on Christmas morning that are complete surprises.

My youngest sister refused to admit for YEARS after she knew the truth that Santa wasn't real, and we're pretty sure she was just convinced that the presents would stop if she did :P

Another funny about her - from the ages of 3-5, she would ask for a golf cart every Christmas. Our dad plays and she loved going to the course with him, and he would let her sit in his lap and "drive" the rented cart, so she thought it was the greatest thing ever. My mom would try to let her down gently and one day said something along the lines of "that's an awfully expensive gift, sweetie, why don't you put some other things on your list?" Her response was: "I know you can't afford it, mommy, that's why I'm asking Santa!" Ooops.... hahaha

ClaireC79

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Re: Ruining Childhood-Responses needed!!!
« Reply #29 on: December 06, 2010, 03:42:26 AM »
We don't do Santa either, but went to a party/pantomime yesterday with the boys and they had a santa come give out presents (a selection box for each child) my son went up and got his chocolates without telling anyone that Santa isn't real, but one mother seemed to take it too far.  She wouldn't let her daughter have her present until Santa has been on Christmas Eve (hmm your child has just seen 'Santa' and been handed a present directly) surely that's just going to confuse her more