A story for your site, which we enjoyed very much!! It kept us entertained for hours and made us really appreciate how wonderful our wedding and showers were!
Sending non-verbal, ill-mannered messages . . . In May of last year, my husband and I attended the wedding of a college friend. It was a gorgeous Sunday; a Spring afternoon and the wedding was taking place at a beautiful historic home under a bright, blue sky. Just before the ceremony started, a young woman entered from the side of the seating arrangement waving and calling out to people she knew, mainly the groom's side. Even without the rude entrance, she would have called attention to herself. She looked absolutely ridiculous for a pleasant, Sunday afternoon wedding, which was by no means casual. Her hair was huge with curls. She wore bright red lipstick and was dressed in black pants, a black slinky top with rhinestone spaghetti straps and black, spiked heels. In all honesty, she looked like she'd come straight from the club she'd been drinking and dancing in the night before (and that IS putting it nicely).
Following her were two women that I remember less, except they were both dressed in black and seemed to take no interest in what was happening. They never smiled and looked like they were attending a funeral, not a wedding. I'd heard of insulting the bride by wearing white, but dressing like it was a funeral and acting that way was really making a statement and it wasn't a good one!!!
After the ceremony, while we were standing in the receiving line, the young woman turned to me and said hello. I smiled, but couldn't place her. However, when she told me her name, I instantly remembered. She was one of the groom's ex-girlfriends and I had not seen her in about 6 years. She was, in fact, THE ex-girlfriend
. The one he'd compared all women to until he met the woman he married (whom no one compares to!
The two women with her were her mother and an older friend. Asharah's comment: Were they invited, or did they crash? And if they were crashing, why weren't they kicked out?
Once we finished going through the line and got away from them, my husband said, "Who was that again?" I said, "The groom's ex-girlfriend. THE ex-girlfriend.
" He said, "When did they break up?" I answered, "Years ago! She moved away. I didn't know she was back." He said, "Isn't she over him yet? I mean, if it's been years, why is she dressed like that?" We quickly agreed that she was a walking advertisement for not being over the groom and against the marriage. It was a message that no one seemed to miss!
Throughout the reception, we noticed that the ex seemed to be lurking at the forefront of everything. When they cut the cake, she was there, standing right in front. When they had toasts, you couldn't miss her; she stood next to or near the groom. Wherever the photographer was, she seemed to be there or somewhere close in the background - I've oftened wondered if there were ANY
pictures without her in them! Asharah's comment: Couldn't they tell her to move? Maybe the photographer can digitally erase her.
My husband and I left earlier than we had originally planned (shortly before the newlyweds left), so the rest of this story comes from several sources including the bride and groom and is truly the worst wedding etiquette I've ever heard of . . .
Apparently, once the reception started to wind down, the ex-girlfriend, her mother and friend went about collecting all the flowers they could get their hands on - centerpieces, arrangements, anything they could find. Asharah's comment: And nobody stopped them or questioned them?
These were flowers that the bride and her mother planned to give as thank-you gifts to friends and family that had helped with the wedding. When the bride asked the caterer where the flowers had been moved to so she could give them away before she left, the caterer explained that a young woman, dressed in black with curly hair and two women with her had gone around collecting them while telling ALL
the other guests that they were free for the taking. Needless to say, the bride was mad and her mother was furious!! The next day, the groom's new bride and MIL made him call the ex-girlfriend and demand the flowers back. When the ex refused (saying the flowers were hers!), he drove to her house and took them back, leaving the ex crying. Asharah's comment: Over what? The flowers or the groom?
I guess he answered her etiquette with a little of his own!! And, believe me, we ALL
applauded him for it!!! Guest0131-03