General Etiquette > Life...in general
Drunk, stupid or just plain inconsiderate?
veryfluffy:
All three, as it turns out.
At 4 am on Saturday morning, my telephone rang. I am not a very heavy sleeper, so even though the telephone in the sitting room, with the door shut, I was woken up, as was DH. I didn't run downstairs to pick it up, and let the machine get it. It turned out to be an old friend calling to wish me a merry christmas from Canada. I am in the UK, so it was about 11 pm there. I knew she wasn't clueless enough to forget there was a time difference, but thought that perhaps she was in high spirits and got the direction wrong, thinking that it would be 6 pm over here.
I found out from my sister, who was at the party, that my friend had indeed been drinking, but knew perfectly well that it was four in the morning for us when she called, and that various people had told her that it was a bad idea. She decided it would be "fun."
When the phone rings in the middle of the night, one always expects that it is some kind of emergency, particularly when family are overseas. Stressed from the call, DH and I both had trouble getting back to sleep, and were up for over an hour. We work weekends, and so even though it was Saturday, we had to be up and about at a reasonably early hour, so we both felt well below par the rest of the day.
I cannot believe that someone would be so inconsiderate, and my opinion of this woman has now been seriously affected. I would have expected a call or email apologising by now, but I haven't heard anything. I'm certainly not going to get in touch with her myself anytime soon, and given that we have grown apart and have little in common anymore, this may have been the nail in the coffin of our friendship. (It may sound as if I am over-reacting, but although we were friends 25 years ago, now there isn't much aside from the occasional greeting card and a phone call once or twice a year where she had nothing to talk about but her children.) If she does contact me again, and doesnt' apologise, how should I react?
Rose2Bear:
--- Quote --- If she does contact me again, and doesnt' apologise, how should I react?
--- End quote ---
I'd let it go this time, although her actions were definetly inappropriate. I wouldn't bother calling her for anything - to try to rekindle the friendship OR discuss this incident . However, if she does happen to call you just to talk and doens't bring it up first, THEN I would say something along the lines of "yeah you really thew me off for the next day when you called me at 4 AM, you might want to avoid doing that to people in the future."
But for now, it was a one time incident and she was drinking (not that that is an excuse to get away with doing rude things) so maybe she doens't even remmeber doing this, so I wouldn't bother going out of my way to discuss it with her, but as you said, this does seem to be a good "nail in the coffin."
JoyinVirginia:
I vote stupid AND inconsiderate, because she was drunk, but she is the one who chose to drink to excess, right?
Do not go out of your way to maintain contact. If she calls, and doesn't mention it, just be brief and cold, keep the conversation to a minimum, or tell her is isn't a good time to talk for you right now.
Joy in Virginia
LadyJaneinMD:
--- Quote from: veryfluffy on December 26, 2006, 11:51:43 AM ---I found out from my sister, who was at the party, that my friend had indeed been drinking, but knew perfectly well that it was four in the morning for us when she called, and that various people had told her that it was a bad idea. She decided it would be "fun."
When the phone rings in the middle of the night, one always expects that it is some kind of emergency, particularly when family are overseas. Stressed from the call, DH and I both had trouble getting back to sleep, and were up for over an hour. We work weekends, and so even though it was Saturday, we had to be up and about at a reasonably early hour, so we both felt well below par the rest of the day.
--- End quote ---
Wow. I would have been red-faced furious. Granted, I have little problems sleeping, but I do have a niece in delicate condition, and my friends all KNOW better than to call in the middle of the night for any reason other than an emergency. Whenever the phone rings that late at night, I get all upset that this might be The Call, you know?
I'd ream her up one side and down the other. There's no excuse for that kind of behavior. If you get drunk enough to act like a stupid child, maybe it's time to stop drinking.
hobish:
--- Quote from: Rose2Bear on December 26, 2006, 12:26:24 PM ---
--- Quote --- If she does contact me again, and doesnt' apologise, how should I react?
--- End quote ---
I'd let it go this time, although her actions were definetly inappropriate. I wouldn't bother calling her for anything - to try to rekindle the friendship OR discuss this incident . However, if she does happen to call you just to talk and doens't bring it up first, THEN I would say something along the lines of "yeah you really thew me off for the next day when you called me at 4 AM, you might want to avoid doing that to people in the future."
But for now, it was a one time incident and she was drinking (not that that is an excuse to get away with doing rude things) so maybe she doens't even remmeber doing this, so I wouldn't bother going out of my way to discuss it with her, but as you said, this does seem to be a good "nail in the coffin."
--- End quote ---
i agree.
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
Go to full version