Author Topic: I Wanted The Ground To Swallow Me...  (Read 2731 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Dazi

  • like the flower
  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3865
Re: I Wanted The Ground To Swallow Me...
« Reply #45 on: March 31, 2014, 06:35:06 AM »
My knicker elastic went, while I was wearing a skirt. I had to walk down the street with my knees together till I got to a place with a bathroom I could use...  :-[

My husband ran out to the shop quickly forgetting our youngest had decorated his face with tiny Winnie the Pooh stickers!

Reminds me of an episode I had at school.  I was in the choir. I always stood at the front, being I was one of the smallest. My knicker elastic decided to snap whilst we were singing. In front of the whole school.  I now cannot abide the song "Walking In The Air".
 
I had to go home to get new underwear as a matter of urgency.  One of the teachers had to drop me off.  Mortally embarrassing.  And more to the point, the whole school knew why.  :(

I have people think it strange that I carry an extra pair rolled up in a zippy bag in my purse, but you just never know when you are going to need them.
Meditate. Live purely. Quiet the mind. Do your work with mastery. Like the moon, come out from behind the clouds! Shine. ---Gautama Buddah





Piratelvr1121

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 10444
Re: I Wanted The Ground To Swallow Me...
« Reply #46 on: March 31, 2014, 08:03:44 AM »
I had many embarrassing moments in middle school but this was one that just occurred to me.  As a background, when I was 8 I was either walking fast or running at the pool (yes, a no-no), tripped and chipped one of my front teeth.  Mom took me to the dentist quickly and I got that corrected.  But the bond wore off after a couple years and it happened to fall off during the school day. 

I didn't smile at anyone and when I had to talk, covered my mouth, I was so embarrassed by it.  Didn't help that when my father came to pick me up for the dentist appointment to fix it, he called me "snaggletooth" and chuckled saying I looked like a witch in a story.  >:(

A couple years ago that bond fell out yet again but I haven't had it fixed. I'm still kind of self conscious about it but it's a matter of weighing up just how bad it looks against my issue with dentists and the cost of a purely cosmetic procedure.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Flibbertigibbet

  • Jr. Member
  • *
  • Posts: 73
Re: I Wanted The Ground To Swallow Me...
« Reply #47 on: March 31, 2014, 10:27:40 AM »
This last Friday I had a mortifying episode. I was at a work mandated networking event, and towards the end of it was chatting with a couple of gentlemen, along with Boss and Big Boss. There was a lull in conversation and then one of the gentlemen asked me when I was due. I'm not pregnant though I am overweight (5'7 and a UK size 16). Clearly more noticebly than I realised!

With hindsight what I should have done was laugh it off, but I was so taken by surprise that I just stammered 'I'm not'. The poor guy looked mortified, and the others in the circle all started studiously observing their feet. Conversation never really recovered!

Piratelvr1121

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 10444
Re: I Wanted The Ground To Swallow Me...
« Reply #48 on: March 31, 2014, 10:55:14 AM »
I remembered one: I was a preteen, just barely starting to develop, and playing in the ocean, riding the waves when one knocked me, and the top of my two piece, out of place.  My uncle had been in the water with us and suddenly he was covering his eyes with his hand and pointing at my front with the other.  We were both a bit embarrassed.

And that's one reason I will NOT wear a two piece at the beach.


Another one I'm sure Freud would have a field day with.  My youngest went through a stage where he liked to stick his hands down the front of my shirt and "peak" at the "girls". And of course he never does it at home, only in public.  ::)
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Julian

  • I lost it between Thriller and Gangnam Style...
  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 681
Re: I Wanted The Ground To Swallow Me...
« Reply #49 on: March 31, 2014, 09:44:55 PM »
This last Friday I had a mortifying episode. I was at a work mandated networking event, and towards the end of it was chatting with a couple of gentlemen, along with Boss and Big Boss. There was a lull in conversation and then one of the gentlemen asked me when I was due. I'm not pregnant though I am overweight (5'7 and a UK size 16). Clearly more noticebly than I realised!

With hindsight what I should have done was laugh it off, but I was so taken by surprise that I just stammered 'I'm not'. The poor guy looked mortified, and the others in the circle all started studiously observing their feet. Conversation never really recovered!

There's a series of car ads showing here in Australia where 'the car' is so fabulous it smooths over all those embarassing moments.

Your story reminded me of one.  Man stops to give coworker a lift, asks when she's due.  She laughs and says "I'm not pregnant, I just love cake!"  Cue both of them driving off laughing.

As another Reubenesque lady who's also had that conversation, I wish it was that easy!

Piratelvr1121

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 10444
Re: I Wanted The Ground To Swallow Me...
« Reply #50 on: March 31, 2014, 09:57:19 PM »
Not my story, but an aunts.  At the time my cousin (who was born in '87) was a little boy, I think perhaps late 2, early 3 and the two of them were traveling from visiting grandma to their home or vice versa. 

Anyway, they'd stopped at a McDonald's for lunch and Aunt let him play on the Playland for a little while before they had to get back on the road.  She said "Time to go, Mack!" But he wouldn't come so she did the "Alright, see ya later!" as she picked up their drinks and started to walk out.  Now, her hands were full, and she was wearing shorts with an elastic waistband. 

You see where this is going don't you?

Mack panicked when he saw Mommy was leaving without him, screamed "No leave! Mommy I love you I love you!" (He always said "I love you" when he was in trouble or thought he was.) He grabbed the sides of aunt's pants, tripped and fell down...taking her pants with him.

She said thankfully she didn't know anyone in that McDonalds.  She pulled up her pants and walked out with dignity and can at least laugh about it now.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

ladyknight1

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 5240
  • Operating the logic hammer since 1987.
Re: I Wanted The Ground To Swallow Me...
« Reply #51 on: April 01, 2014, 08:42:17 AM »
When I have too much stuff in my hands and accidentally hit the panic button on the car remote.  ::)

rose red

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 7233
Re: I Wanted The Ground To Swallow Me...
« Reply #52 on: April 07, 2014, 02:03:26 PM »
I walked all through walmart and didn't know there was a big old rip in my pants, big enough to show underwear. I just hope a picture never showed up on that people of walmart website.

White Dragon

  • Formerly St Monica
  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2447
Re: I Wanted The Ground To Swallow Me...
« Reply #53 on: April 07, 2014, 02:30:33 PM »
Every Thursday morning, our office gathers for coffee and snacks.
We shut the phones off and turn on the door chime in case anyone comes in.

Last Thursday, the chime rang so I trotted downstairs.

There was young woman in the lobby, signing in on our visitor log.
She looked vaguely familiar, but I couldn't quite place her.
{unknown to me, cracks were forming under my feet.}

I told her politely that we were in the middle of a staff meeting and would she like to wait about 15 minutes?
She looked at me oddly and just said "Just let Suzy know I'm here."
{somewhere, thunder rumbled underfoot...}

"I'm sorry, I don't recall your name", I replied politely.
{the abyss beckoned}

She gave me a most peculiar look and said, slowly, "I'm Kelly...I used to work here..."
{and I fell. Hard and fast, bouncing off the walls on the way to the Depths of Humiliation}.

Kelly was our former front desk admin. She and I worked closely together for over a year. She left 7 months ago.... :P :P :P

Some days, I hate my brain!

alkira6

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 870
Re: I Wanted The Ground To Swallow Me...
« Reply #54 on: April 07, 2014, 02:47:00 PM »
There is a reason that I have a full change of clothes in my classroom and in my car.  Wardrobe malfunctions and general grossness always seem to happen to me.  If there is a vomiting child anywhere in the vicinity then they will aim for me.

I have also had the misfortune of having a half slip give up the battle with gravity as I was walking. I no longer wear half slips  ;D

I have also had my breasts fall out of the bottom of my bra.  During class I turned to write on the board and somehow my bra rode all the way up and my breasts completely fell out the bottom.  I taught the rest of the class with my arms crossed and got student volunteers to write on the board for the rest of the day.  I also bought new bras.
« Last Edit: April 07, 2014, 02:49:34 PM by alkira6 »

Hurricane Marathon

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1468
Re: I Wanted The Ground To Swallow Me...
« Reply #55 on: April 10, 2014, 12:20:46 PM »
Here's an embarassing story for you.  When I was 22 I went to the bar with a guy-friend.  We must have been on our way for a coffee after because we were driving the opposite direction from my house.  Anyway I don't know what came over him but he decided to speed along the lakeshore road and pass a taxi on the right shoulder.  Which was seen by a cop.  Next thing I know a cop car is chasing us so my friend decides to try and outrun him.  In a crappy little manual car.  >:(  Finally he pulls over and the cop arrests him.  I couldn't take his car back to my house because I don't know how to drive stick.  This was in the middle of the night in the freezing cold winter so the cop wouldn't let me walk home across town and he gave me a ride in the back of his cruiser.  I was MORTIFIED. Then I had to explain to my then-boyfriend (who was totally cool with me hanging out with guy friends) what happened when I got home so late.

EllenS

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1218
Re: I Wanted The Ground To Swallow Me...
« Reply #56 on: April 10, 2014, 02:48:11 PM »
I got out of the car and walked across the parking lot to greet some relatives, with my dress tucked into my pantyhose. The entire back of my dress.

At my mother's funeral.

blueyzca01

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 332
Re: I Wanted The Ground To Swallow Me...
« Reply #57 on: April 11, 2014, 02:53:19 PM »
I asked a co-worker if she was pregnant again.  She was kind enough to smile and say that she has been having some problems after the birth of her daughter 6 months ago and maybe this is the kick in the pants she needs to start working out again.  She’s obviously a pretty tolerant and generous woman.   

Normally, I know better than that.  I am a woman and I cannot imagine someone asking that question, because everyone should know it’s wrong.  In fact, as the words were leaving.my.mouth I knew they were wrong.  I still feel sick about it.  Because when my brain is actually functioning, I truly abide by the words of Dave Barry:

You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

I humbly blame my incessant insomnia, but even that excuse doesn’t make me feel better.
No one ever says, "Why me?!?!" when something good happens.

turtleIScream

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 477
Re: I Wanted The Ground To Swallow Me...
« Reply #58 on: April 12, 2014, 10:51:19 PM »
I was at a baby shower today. One of the games was a baby word scramble. I am actually very good at descrambling words, but one word was giving me trouble. When I finally figured it out, I blurted out, "I can't believe I had so much trouble getting 'pregnant'!" Oh, and did I mention this was a mixed gender shower held at our church?

Hollanda

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2419
  • Believe in yourself.
Re: I Wanted The Ground To Swallow Me...
« Reply #59 on: April 14, 2014, 06:55:32 AM »
I was at a baby shower today. One of the games was a baby word scramble. I am actually very good at descrambling words, but one word was giving me trouble. When I finally figured it out, I blurted out, "I can't believe I had so much trouble getting 'pregnant'!" Oh, and did I mention this was a mixed gender shower held at our church?

That's funny!!!
Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.