Author Topic: Uh.. ya, don't do that....  (Read 476957 times)

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Frog24

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Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
« Reply #3180 on: July 03, 2014, 05:51:16 PM »
When the baby wakes up at 5:45 am, and you go into her room to see if she wants water.  Well, she doesn't want water, she's chirping "Up! Up! Up!".  So you sleepily pick her up, settle her against your chest and sit down in the rocking chair, hoping to get her to snooze for another half hour.  She cradles her head into the crook of your neck and shoulder and does one of those baby sighs of contentment that make you forgive her for getting you up before 6 am.

And after 20 minutes of cuddling and snoozing, you notice your chest and stomach feel hot... and wet... and then you wake up enough to realize what the baby was trying to tell you.  Then you realize that it's a done deal; the baby is up, and so are you.  Because as soon as you strip off the sopping pajama and the soaked through diaper, there's no way the child will again close her eyes.

Slartibartfast

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Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
« Reply #3181 on: July 09, 2014, 08:55:09 PM »
I got chatting after church today, then spent a frantic five minutes running around trying to figure out where Bittybartfast (age 2) got off to.  And then Babybartfast (6) pointed out I had been carrying her the whole time, and that's probably why people were giving me funny looks.

D'oh!

Arila

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Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
« Reply #3182 on: July 15, 2014, 04:11:54 PM »
I got some new pants. They are sort of skinny jeans, so with a lot more stretch. The waist is a litttle loose, and I had my shirt tucked in.

Anyway, I went to put my phone in my back pocket. I identified a fabric edge, and slid the phone between the edge of the fabric, and the layer of fabric one layer closer to my body, thinking I was feeling the top of the back pocket and sliding it in there. Well, the phone slid in just fine, and dropped by gravity to the bottom of the pocket.

....

But then I thought, "Hey, that's a pretty deep pocket! I was walking through all this and it kept sliding further down! I realized it was a REALLY deep pocket, I'd slid my phone down the back of my pants and now it was sort of stuck half way down my thigh where the leg was more form fitting.

Without too much fuss I managed to sort of squeegee it down out the foot-hole without drawing too much attention to myself.

ladyknight1

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Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
« Reply #3183 on: July 15, 2014, 07:31:41 PM »
^ My mind was convinced your phone was in your underwear.

Don't wear quasi-baggy underwear under slim fit pants.  :-[

mmswm

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Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
« Reply #3184 on: July 15, 2014, 08:24:49 PM »
Also don't wear a leopard print bra under a bright orange t-shirt, unless you know the t-shirt is thick enough to hide the pattern.
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

Dazi

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Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
« Reply #3185 on: July 15, 2014, 09:14:08 PM »
Also don't wear a leopard print bra under a bright orange t-shirt, unless you know the t-shirt is thick enough to hide the pattern.

Ditto for my black and hot pink striped panties under a beige and black print dress.  Luckily it wasn't noticeable in the office, only when I hit the stairs with the sun shining brightly through the windows.  ;)
Meditate. Live purely. Quiet the mind. Do your work with mastery. Like the moon, come out from behind the clouds! Shine. ---Gautama Buddah





greencat

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Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
« Reply #3186 on: July 16, 2014, 02:49:02 AM »
After a number of incidents where I discovered that my dressy shirts were made of too-thin fabrics, I now make sure I wear a patterned bra when I got to try on clothing.  It's like the designers don't have anyone check to see if their clothes are see-through...

Sophia

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Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
« Reply #3187 on: July 16, 2014, 11:09:51 AM »
Don't click on this thread when you meant to click the "Things that made you happy recently" thread. 
I was thinking bad thoughts about you weirdos. 
« Last Edit: July 17, 2014, 09:26:57 AM by Sophia »

siamesecat2965

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Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
« Reply #3188 on: July 16, 2014, 08:09:37 PM »
After you take metal skewers off the grill, with tongs mind you, and put them on a plate, do not grab said skewer to remove the food on it with your bare hand 30 seconds later. It will still be hot and you will end up with lovely scortch marks across your hand and fingers. Don't ask how I know this.

Arila

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Re: Uh.. ya, don't do that....
« Reply #3189 on: July 18, 2014, 12:00:44 AM »
Don't...watch Breaking Bad while working remotely. It puts one into a really bad "F- you man!!!" funk that one should not be in when emailing the boss.