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Kids say the funniest things

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I'm sure we've had a thread like this in the past, but I couldn't find it (with a cursory search  :P) so I'm starting a new one!

The inaugural story: Babybartfast is 2 1/2 and talking up a storm now.  Our dog Kiki was lying on her back on the floor and Babybartfast looked up while petting her:

"Mommy!  Daddy has nipples.  And mommy has nipples.  And [Babybartfast] has nipples.  And Kiki has LOTS of nipples!"

I had to work really hard at not laughing, or she'd go around for the next week telling every stranger she met about their nipples  :P

So what have your kids surprised you with?


--- Quote from: Slartibartfast on December 08, 2010, 01:30:34 PM ---I had to work really hard at not laughing, or she'd go around for the next week telling every stranger she met about their nipples  :P

--- End quote ---

Hah! Well done you. The whole "sudden epiphany" tone of Babybartfast is hilarious. :D

That reminded me of our family Story of the Cricket Club Cat: not so much a "kids say...", but my father indulging in a Calvin's Dad moment.

Sister and I are aged around seven and eight. We're travelling home from watching Dad play in a cricket match, and debating whether the cricket club's cat - which Sister and I had been fussing over, and whose name we don't know - is a male or female.

Dad thinks the cat's a tom. Sister is convinced that the cat must be a female, because it "has nipples". I point out that all cats have nipples. Mum confirms this, helpfully adding that only females can breastfeed.

Sister [thoughtfully]: "So why do male cats have nipples?"

Dad: "For piercing."

Mum [appalled]: "TIM!"

Dad: >:D

Mum: ::)

Sister and I: ;D

I remember a comedian from the 80's (I think) saying the reason men have nipples is so they can find their cigarettes in their shirt pocket when they're drunk.  Martin Mull, is that right?

ETA - sorry for the highjack - keep the kid quotes coming!

We like to hang out on our bed upstairs for a little while after the baby goes to bed.  Sometimes we watch a show, other times we just watch Grace go nuts now that her sister is put away.  The other night, as she tumbled hyperactively around the bed, I was suddenly struck by how enormous she is (for her age), but how tiny and helpless she still really is (I know that doesn't make much sense):

Me to my husband: She's so small and so huge at the same ti--

Grace, while somewhere between a headstand and a somersault: And so cute!

My niece was about four years old when this took place.

We'd all three been out running errands (me, my sister, and my niece) and we stopped at my apartment. We were about to go up the stairs when I noticed an abandoned, half-empty beer bottle still sitting out on the (shared) balcony. I had no idea who it belonged to, but I kind of nudged my sister and right away, took stock of where my niece was so she wouldn't pick it up or something. And just as my sister got my signal and we were about to distract my niece  away from the bottle, she suddenly stops and points and says

"Somebody's been sitting here drinking!"

and then just walks past it and waits for us to open the door.

We cracked up.

Because, well, she was absolutely correct. Someone had been sitting there drinking.  She just had no way of knowing her remark was true in more ways than one.


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