Author Topic: Kids say the funniest things  (Read 192951 times)

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Piratelvr1121

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1215 on: May 06, 2014, 03:31:03 PM »
Someone shared that on fbook in the group we have set up for the church's ministry and it is really funny. I could see some people in our church doing that as there are some adults who would be hilarious doing the miming part and there are a few girls who sing "Let it go" every chance they get.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

twiggy

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1216 on: May 17, 2014, 09:12:47 PM »
5yo DS is trying to earn money. To support him in this endeavor, I offered to let him have and sell all the extra basil plants that sprouted up from my massive basil shrub last year. He found some extra pots in the garage, and I let him use the leftover, half full bag of potting soil. But he's in charge of contacting clients and repotting each plant.

Today he called my dad and launched into his little speech,
DS: "Hello Grandpa. This is your grandson, James Smith. How are you today? I am calling because I am selling basil plants and I was wondering if you needed one."
Dad: "I sure do. How much are you charging?"
DS: "Oh, just $30"
Dad: "$30?!? that seems like an awful lot. Why is it so expensive?"
DS: "Well, I want to be rich."
Dad: "well, I can get a basil plant from the store for only $2.50"
DS: "How about $5.27? You get a plant, and a pot and the dirt, and everything!"

The call was on speakerphone and I was cracking up. The final price was $5, and we're going to be delivering it tonight :)
In the United States today, there is a pervasive tendency to treat children as adults, and adults as children.  The options of children are thus steadily expanded, while those of adults are progressively constricted.  The result is unruly children and childish adults.  ~Thomas Szasz

Slartibartfast

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1217 on: May 26, 2014, 09:32:54 PM »
"I think, when I grew up, I want to marry a girl.  Because boys say 'fart' and 'butt' a lot."

(This came following an out-of-the-blue comment about "I know why Aunt Jane lives by herself!  It's because she's waiting for them to change the law so she can marry a girl."  A little shaky on the concept of living together not technically requiring marriage and the fact that Aunt Jane is currently very happily done with her last girlfriend, but it still surprises me how Babybartfast can pick up on bits and pieces of overheard conversations and cobble them together into an interesting worldview.)

twiggy

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1218 on: June 03, 2014, 03:07:18 AM »
I've been sewing a lot lately. And I'll admit that I'm a bit of a fabric collector. But dang it, sometimes you just don't have what you need in your stash, so I somehow end up at the fabric store. Hey, I'm supporting a small business. 5yo DS wanted to start a new project, so I told everyone to get loaded into the van to go to the fabric store.

DS rolled his eyes at me and said, "Mom, don't you think you have enough fabric already?"
3yo DD piped up. "Nope. Need more fabric."
DS: Do you know how many boxes of fabric there are?
DD: Not nuff.
DS: Ugh. We have lots of fabric.
DD: No fight. We going fabric store. Let's go

without realizing it, the kids reenacted several conversations that DH and I have had :)

DD has also been known to run up to me at the fabric store with a bolt in her tiny arms. The first time she breathlessly whispered, "it's gor-geous" she made several friends at the fabric store.
In the United States today, there is a pervasive tendency to treat children as adults, and adults as children.  The options of children are thus steadily expanded, while those of adults are progressively constricted.  The result is unruly children and childish adults.  ~Thomas Szasz

crella

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1219 on: June 03, 2014, 05:35:12 AM »
They're adorable!

kajunchick

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1220 on: June 07, 2014, 11:33:31 PM »
My five year old cracks me up sometimes. It's not only the stuff he says, but his tone of voice is usually very dry and matter-of-fact. While on vacation last week at Disney World, we were walking from the bus to our room. I said, "Hurry up Nick, I want to get back to the room." He said, "Well, I want to go home and kiss Grandma." Another day I said, "Whew! I could take a nap right now." He said, "Go ahead. I won't judge."
Everybody in this family needs to just calm down and eat some fruit or something.


Bexx27

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1221 on: June 08, 2014, 09:45:10 AM »
My five year old cracks me up sometimes. It's not only the stuff he says, but his tone of voice is usually very dry and matter-of-fact. While on vacation last week at Disney World, we were walking from the bus to our room. I said, "Hurry up Nick, I want to get back to the room." He said, "Well, I want to go home and kiss Grandma." Another day I said, "Whew! I could take a nap right now." He said, "Go ahead. I won't judge."

That's adorable. My 5-year-old is on apparently on her way to tweenhood and has started rolling her eyes and saying "duh" when she decides we're not being sufficiently quick on the uptake. I know I should correct her attitude because it won't be cute in a few years, but it is hilarious coming from such a little kid.
How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these. -George Washington Carver

Hurricane Marathon

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1222 on: June 09, 2014, 12:41:25 PM »
I walked past my neighbour's two-year-old and he said "Hi Sexy."

jayhawk

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1223 on: June 09, 2014, 05:28:13 PM »
I walked past my neighbour's two-year-old and he said "Hi Sexy."


BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

ladyknight1

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1224 on: June 10, 2014, 07:54:25 PM »
My DS was chatting with me today online, during a lightning delay. He started talking to me, I told him the kitten missed him, but I didn't.

Later, I told him his dad missed him too.

He asked me to tell his dad that he missed him.  ;)

mmswm

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1225 on: June 10, 2014, 09:37:05 PM »
Almost 13yo comes into the house saying "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy!  I finally did it!  I finally inured my *left* leg!"

He's had several broken bones and sprains in his right leg (foot, ankle, knee, foot again), and the last time he injured his right foot, I said something about it always being on his right side, which is what triggered the comment above.  Unfortunately, while the comment itself is funny, the resulting ER trip and diagnosis of a broken foot was not.
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

kajunchick

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1226 on: June 11, 2014, 11:31:55 AM »
My friend just told me a funny story. Her 3yo was wearing goggles while swimming, and a bumblebee flew up right in front of his face, He said, "Momma, he's yooking at me in my yeyes!"
Everybody in this family needs to just calm down and eat some fruit or something.


blue2000

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1227 on: June 11, 2014, 07:48:01 PM »
I was trying on clothes today, and a lady nearby was telling her little boy to stay put with the cart while she finished trying things on. He must have been pretty sick of shopping, because his response was "I'm going to run away! And I'm going to put it all back!!"
You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

Browyn

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1228 on: June 12, 2014, 08:25:08 AM »
When my son was little (just starting to talk) I taught him to tell people he was a "Stud Muffin"

(Hangs head in guilt)   >:D

kherbert05

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1229 on: June 12, 2014, 01:59:46 PM »

The avoiding forced hugs & kisses thread reminded me of this.

I was leaving Sis's house. The kids were playing with the neighbors and she called them to say goodbye. They came in but bypassed me and ran into their bathroom.


Sis "What are you doing come say goodbye to Aunt Kimbie"



Loren "We have to brush out teeth first and wash our hands first - we don't want to kill her.


Sis and I start laughing neighbor lady looks puzzled.


They come out and give me a hug and kiss goodbye
Brett, "Mrs. Neighbor lady let us have chocolate so we couldn't say goodbye till we brushed out teeth and washed our hands?"


Sis and I explain about the peanut thing and that most US chocolate has warnings on it.
 
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