Author Topic: Kids say the funniest things  (Read 206793 times)

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turtleIScream

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1230 on: June 12, 2014, 04:55:33 PM »
This is more kids do the funniest things, rather than say...

I watched my nieblings yesterday while my sister was at the doctor. Before they got here, I covered the dining room table with butcher paper and set out crayons, markers, and stickers. When they came in, the 5 y/o and 7 y/o exclaimed, "coloring!" and ran to the table. The almost 10 y/o hung back, rolled his eyes at his little sibs, and slowly walked to the table. His eyes got wide when he saw the paper; he touched it and asked if it was coloring paper that he could draw on. I said yes, and his eyes lit up. He ended up drawing twice as much as anyone else. But you know, he's 10 and way too cool for little kid stuff.

kherbert05

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1231 on: June 12, 2014, 08:22:55 PM »
This is more kids do the funniest things, rather than say...

I watched my nieblings yesterday while my sister was at the doctor. Before they got here, I covered the dining room table with butcher paper and set out crayons, markers, and stickers. When they came in, the 5 y/o and 7 y/o exclaimed, "coloring!" and ran to the table. The almost 10 y/o hung back, rolled his eyes at his little sibs, and slowly walked to the table. His eyes got wide when he saw the paper; he touched it and asked if it was coloring paper that he could draw on. I said yes, and his eyes lit up. He ended up drawing twice as much as anyone else. But you know, he's 10 and way too cool for little kid stuff.
But there is a huge difference at 10 between Coloring (Filling in someone else's picture) and Drawing (making your own picture)
Don't Teach Them For Your Past. Teach Them For Their Future

Hurricane Marathon

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1232 on: June 16, 2014, 12:27:33 PM »
Years ago a friend told us a story about when he and his buddy were in a public men's room.  A little boy was in the stall and his dad was waiting at the door.

Little Boy: "Okay daddy I pinched it off, come wipe my bum."
Dad: "No, you're a big boy now. You can wipe your own bum."
Little Boy: "....? But you always wipe my bum.  DADDY COME WIPE MY BUM!!!"

z_squared82

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1233 on: June 16, 2014, 01:31:25 PM »
I was at a splash park with my neice yesterday when she was acting like she needed to use the bathroom. So I asked her, she said yes, and we went to the bathroom. She goes into the over-sized stall (not handicapped, just oversized to allow for clothes changing), doesn’t close the door, and sits on the bench like she’s going to go.

“You don’t sit on the bench,” I said, “you sit on the toilet, silly!”
She gets her hands off her girly parts long enough to shut the door, but not before telling me, “I’m having a moment!”

We still have no idea what she meant by “moment”!

Frog24

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1234 on: June 16, 2014, 06:15:51 PM »
DD1 (almost 4! Yikes, how did that happen?!!) has a new thing where things are "stinky"  "Ewwww," she says pinching her nose. "What's that stinky smell?"  The stinky smell could be the baby, or daddy's morning breath, or roses, or cooking jam... anything really.

So last night, she's in bed and I tell her goodnight and she hits me with:

DD: What's that stinky smell?
Me: There is no stinky smelly, honey. You just had a bath and you're not stinky at all.
DD: Yeah, I smell good. Mommy?
Me: Yes, dear?
DD: I hope tomorrow's not stinky.
Me: Yes lovey... I hope tomorrow's not stinky either.

TootsNYC

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1235 on: June 16, 2014, 06:58:08 PM »
DD1 (almost 4! Yikes, how did that happen?!!) has a new thing where things are "stinky"  "Ewwww," she says pinching her nose. "What's that stinky smell?"  The stinky smell could be the baby, or daddy's morning breath, or roses, or cooking jam... anything really.

So last night, she's in bed and I tell her goodnight and she hits me with:

DD: What's that stinky smell?
Me: There is no stinky smelly, honey. You just had a bath and you're not stinky at all.
DD: Yeah, I smell good. Mommy?
Me: Yes, dear?
DD: I hope tomorrow's not stinky.
Me: Yes lovey... I hope tomorrow's not stinky either.

As a teenager, my brother started saying of the "dinner's cooking" odors, appreciatively, "Umm, that stinks good!"


I have one from my 16yo son.

We went Father's Day shopping together.

DOOR GREETER:  Welcome to Best Buy! Can I help you find something?
ME: Yes--if you were a GPS, where would you be?
SON: Isn't that something you should ask the GPS?

MommyPenguin

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1236 on: June 17, 2014, 09:43:51 PM »
LOL, Toots!  I like that one.



My MIL and I were discussing former baseball players, and I mentioned something about Mickey Mantle and Roger Maris. 

Jenny piped up, "Did you know them, Mommy?" 

I said, "No, I wasn't alive when they were playing." 

Her next question: "Was it before you were born, or after you were dead?"

twiggy

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1237 on: June 18, 2014, 11:12:54 PM »
Today we met up with DH for lunch. I told ODS that he needed to get dressed (he was wearing ratty, older clothes that are fine around the house, but he's not allowed to wear them when we go out). DS whined, "why do I have to get dressed?" 3yo DD immediately piped up, "cause NO one wants to see you naked."

When he got home, DH took the kids to the pool. When he told the kids to get their suits on, DD ran up to him, put her little hands on his cheeks and gave him a kiss. She looked right into his eyes and said, "Oh Daddy, it's just what I always wanted."

I just sent her off to bed, saying that she needs her beauty sleep. She replied, "but Mommy, I ready gor-jus."
In the United States today, there is a pervasive tendency to treat children as adults, and adults as children.  The options of children are thus steadily expanded, while those of adults are progressively constricted.  The result is unruly children and childish adults.  ~Thomas Szasz

Miss Cathy

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1238 on: June 19, 2014, 07:10:22 AM »
My teacher friend's story:
At news time, one of her students said "My sister is having a baby. I think I'm going to be a grandfather."
All the rest of the class sat quietly, while my friend tried to hide her laughter. "Oh Jack", she said, "I think you're going to be an uncle". And the class exploded into hysterical laughter, because being an "uncle" was SO much funnier.

mmswm

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1239 on: June 20, 2014, 01:26:27 AM »
My older 12 year old (the one who will be 13 next week) has a blue cast on his recently broken leg.  He was rather excited about something or another and was doing pirouettes in the kitchen.  On the broken leg.  I sighed and told him to stop because I really didn't want to go back to the ER and have to get some other limb put in a cast.  He replied, "But, Mom!  I need a matching cast on my arm!"

Boys.  Grrrrr.
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

deadbody

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1240 on: June 20, 2014, 01:23:51 PM »
My 6 year old may have inherited my sense of humor.  Mrs. Deadbody will from time to time call me a butthead.  Completely in jest, and usually with good cause.  The other night we were at dinner, and I said something that caused her to call me a butthead and 6yo DD giggled.  I asked what was funny and got "Mom said butthead"  I asked if it was nice of mommy to call me a butthead, and the response?

"No.....but it was really funny" followed with the cutest smirk.  This one is gonna be trouble.

Frog24

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1241 on: June 20, 2014, 02:35:12 PM »
One of my favourites is the "butter up compliment":

DD - Mommy, you look really pretty today.  You're so beautiful and I love you.
Me - Thanks honey, I love you, too!
DD - I think my tummy needs something yummy and like candy.  (beseeching smile)
Me - No candy today, sweetie.
DD - (pouting)  You're not very pretty anymore, mommy. 

Browyn

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1242 on: June 20, 2014, 11:54:22 PM »
One of my favourites is the "butter up compliment":

DD - Mommy, you look really pretty today.  You're so beautiful and I love you.
Me - Thanks honey, I love you, too!
DD - I think my tummy needs something yummy and like candy.  (beseeching smile)
Me - No candy today, sweetie.
DD - (pouting)  You're not very pretty anymore, mommy.

I had made cookies one night and told DS (age nine) he could have one tomorrow.
Next morning there is this angelic smile looking at me when I wake up.  "good morning mommy, I love you"  OK DS you may have your cookie.  He leans in and wispers in my ear "can I have two?"

katiescarlett

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1243 on: June 21, 2014, 01:27:34 AM »
My nephew, Wade, who is 5, has trouble pronouncing a lot of words, including my name, Jennifer.  He calls me Jenmermer.  I asked him once why he quit calling me Jen, which I prefer, and he told me he yikes Jenmermer better.  He also likes to "insult" me.  It is just a game, and quite funny when he tries to think up the worst insult he can.  For instance, I might tell him he is a little stinkpot, or a silly little boy.  He told me once I was a flat tire.  The other day he actually was mad at me because I wouldn't let him have candy for breakfast, and he told me I was just a babysitter!  You would have thought he was calling me a curse word, the way he said it.  He is a very sweet and loving little boy, and cracks me up so much.  His new thing is wanting to fight like a t-rex (dinosaur lover), and he asked me if I wanted a piece of him the other day.  I asked if he wanted a knuckle sandwich, to which he replied by asking me if I wanted a cheeseburger. 

kherbert05

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1244 on: June 21, 2014, 07:38:49 AM »
At the pool
Loren - Aunt Kimbee you know how if you put a piece of paper up in a glass and stick the open end down into water the air keeps the water out.

Me - Yes

Loren - Watch this




Loren  - I can breath under water. (If you can't see the image - she is swimming with a large bucket over her head. Like early versions of what became scuba diving).
Don't Teach Them For Your Past. Teach Them For Their Future