Author Topic: Kids say the funniest things  (Read 210793 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

z_squared82

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 480
Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1260 on: July 14, 2014, 11:45:27 AM »
Dinner conversation with my 8-year-old niece:
“Aunt Z?”
 “Yes Niece?”
 “Why aren’t you married?”
 “Because I haven’t found a man I want to marry yet.”
 “Um…have you tried Googling him?”

Piratelvr1121

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 11155
Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1261 on: July 15, 2014, 06:59:36 AM »
Over the weekend Dh and I kissed on the lips (just a peck) in front of the lil'un and he giggled and said "You guys! Stop!"
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Frog24

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 324
Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1262 on: July 15, 2014, 06:02:24 PM »
I'm getting ready in the morning, and after washing my face, I put moisturizer on.  I don't usually wear any makeup. DD4 opens my drawer and pulls out some blush. 

"Here mommy, you should put this on today."
"Really?" I ask her.
"Yes," she nods sagely. "You don't look very good today."

To humor her, I put pretend to put some blush on.  At the last moment, I take the blush brush and dab it on her nose.
"Oh no, mummy!  Don't do that!  I don't need that to look pretty."  And she flounced out of the bathroom.

Piratelvr1121

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 11155
Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1263 on: July 16, 2014, 12:03:50 PM »
This morning the 2 year old watched me make coffee and as I opened the bag to pour the grounds into the filter we have this short exchange:

Him: Coffee?
Me: Yes, it's coffee.
Him: *with a tone of reverence* Ohhhhh!!!  *so that's what makes mommy human!*
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

crella

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1020
Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1264 on: July 16, 2014, 06:34:00 PM »
Ha,ha,ha,ha,ha! So cute!

Dazi

  • like the flower
  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4284
Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1265 on: July 16, 2014, 08:40:33 PM »
The other day while at work, some little boy, about 3 or 4, was in the hallway outside of my office.  He was spinning circles and his mom told him to stop before he hurt himself.  He continued spinning at top speed, got dizzy, and fell hard on his butt.  His response was "Dear deity! You smack my butt. Why deity did you smack my butt? I wasn't that bad."  I made it around the corner before I lost it...I was laughing so hard I had tears streaming down my face.

The funny part was he actually said "deity" in that statement, I did not make any substitutions in what that kid said.
Meditate. Live purely. Quiet the mind. Do your work with mastery. Like the moon, come out from behind the clouds! Shine. ---Gautama Buddah





Piratelvr1121

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 11155
Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1266 on: July 17, 2014, 04:49:27 PM »
Earlier today:

Littlest Pirate: Mom? Memonay? Memonay? *while holding cup, pushing it at me while I'm sitting on the john.*
Me: Can I go to the bathroom first?
LP: Ummm...no fanks!
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Piratelvr1121

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 11155
Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1267 on: July 30, 2014, 01:21:41 PM »
A mispronunciation that tickled me. 

Me: Are you going to be respectful?
Little Pirate: *nodding* A speckle!
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Jones

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2606
Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1268 on: July 30, 2014, 02:28:43 PM »
A few nights ago I was sitting on the couch with DH.
DS, age 3, came in the front door and was insistant I pay attention.
DS: "Mom, mom, mama, mom, mom, mama-mom"
Me: "Yes DS?"
DS: "DIRTY!" and he chucked a double handful of dirt on me.
Me: "er, yes...do you want a bath now?" (He was dirtier than I was)
DS: "NO"

And he ran away, back to the great and dirty outdoors.

Piratelvr1121

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 11155
Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1269 on: July 30, 2014, 03:09:35 PM »
A few nights ago I was sitting on the couch with DH.
DS, age 3, came in the front door and was insistant I pay attention.
DS: "Mom, mom, mama, mom, mom, mama-mom"
Me: "Yes DS?"
DS: "DIRTY!" and he chucked a double handful of dirt on me.
Me: "er, yes...do you want a bath now?" (He was dirtier than I was)
DS: "NO"

And he ran away, back to the great and dirty outdoors.

Anytime DH is around and the youngest does the "mom, mom, mom, mom, mom" thing, DH says his name repeatedly which unfortunately doesn't change anything, just makes the little guy laugh before he starts with the "mom, mom, mom!" thing.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Hollanda

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2689
  • Believe in yourself.
Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1270 on: August 05, 2014, 05:41:34 PM »
DS: old McDonald had a farm EIEIO...


On this farm he had a:


Cat
Dog
Bird
Owl
Spider (the noise is Aaagh which is what Mummy says)
Worm (cue yucky sucky noise)
Elephant (??)
Frog (??)
T-Rex (??)
Lion (??)
Cow (that's better)
Fish (sssshhhh)
Snake
Duck
Horse (that's better)
Turtle (there is no noise)


I wish I'd not taught him that song, since it lasts up to half an hour while he thinks of the most random animals ever. 
Knowledge is knowing tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.


Slartibartfast

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 11783
    • Nerdy Necklaces - my Etsy shop!
Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1271 on: August 06, 2014, 02:01:16 AM »
Babybartfast's latest rallying cry - usually when she's being reprimanded in public for misbehaving - is "YOU'RE NOT BEING A VERY GOOD PARENT!"

Since this is almost inevitably accompanied by me and Bittybartfast looking perfectly calm while Babybartfast throws herself dramatically onto the floor and whines/cries, it has provoked tons of understanding smiles and more than one outright laugh from bystanders - presumably ones who have BEEN THERE.

Frog24

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 324
Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1272 on: August 06, 2014, 02:53:20 PM »
On the "Old MacDonald" theme....  My little ones call one set of grand parents Oma and Opa.  Well, Oma's name is Donna. And her best buddy's name is Eli.  So.....

Oma Donald had a farm.
Eli, Eli, oh!

Stormtreader

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1850
Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1273 on: August 06, 2014, 04:52:31 PM »
My friends are a couple of real scifi geeks. Their farm has had daleks, cybermen, lasers, robots, the hulk....

Piratelvr1121

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 11155
Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1274 on: August 06, 2014, 06:34:14 PM »
Speaking of sci-fi, I'm considering dressing up the youngest one like Han Solo for Halloween this year.  Seriously considering teaching him to say "Who's scruffy looking?" :)
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata