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  • November 25, 2017, 12:04:10 AM

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Author Topic: Kids say the funniest things  (Read 516975 times)

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Addy

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1665 on: November 13, 2016, 02:27:17 PM »
I love these!

I have one to add, thanks to my three-year-old granddaughter. I was cooking dinner yesterday and she was helping by putting the carrots I was cutting into the pot. She brought one up to her mouth, and I thought she was going to eat it, so I told her those weren't for eating yet. She told me she was adding the love. She was kissing the carrots.

jpcher

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1666 on: November 13, 2016, 03:24:13 PM »
That is so sweet!  ;D

gramma dishes

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1667 on: November 13, 2016, 03:47:09 PM »
I love these!

I have one to add, thanks to my three-year-old granddaughter. I was cooking dinner yesterday and she was helping by putting the carrots I was cutting into the pot. She brought one up to her mouth, and I thought she was going to eat it, so I told her those weren't for eating yet. She told me she was adding the love. She was kissing the carrots.

Awww!  How adorable.  And we all know food tastes sooo much better when it's had love added and it's better for us too!   :)

lilfox

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1668 on: November 22, 2016, 01:22:43 PM »
Two from DS, who just turned 3:

We were driving (DH, DD, DS, and me) around our neighborhood last week and I was saying how nice it will be when everyone puts up their Christmas lights*.  DD, who was being grumpy, argued a little about how it's not time yet and why would people decorate this early?  DS pipes up with "Because we love Christmas!"

A few days ago, I was helping DS put on his jacket and had one arm in the sleeve.  He flailed his other arm around, trying to find the other sleeve.  Just as I held it out for him, he said "I'm like, where's my other sleeve?"

Elisabunny

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1669 on: November 22, 2016, 07:11:31 PM »
Background: my youngest (10 years old) was born with a non-functional thumb, which was removed.  Her index finger was turned into a new thumb.

YDD arrived home from school giggling.  And said she wanted to show me a trick.  So she put her hand in the hood of her coat, and used the other hand to bunch the fabric around her finger.  It's stiff enough to stay up when she withdraws her hand, making it look like her finger is still in there.  Then she showed her hand with the missing finger.  ;D

Better still: apparently she did this to a kid on the bus who didn't know she was missing a finger!  ;D ;D ;D

You must remember this: a ghoti is still a fish...

katiescarlett

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1670 on: December 05, 2016, 12:35:30 PM »
Oh, what my coworker posted on facebook last night still has me giggling! She has 4 month old twin boys and a three year old daughter. Last night she posted this: "Reason why my 3 year old is crying: I told her that only mommies have babies in their tummys. She is upset and having a full on meltdown because she thinks she has a brother in her tummy. When told that the only thing she had in her tummy was her dinner, she lost it!"

Oh my goodness, that is too cute and funny!!

lilfox

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1671 on: December 12, 2016, 02:35:49 PM »
DS (3) was taking a bath last night and it was time to be done.  I asked him to open the drain, which involves pressing on it to release.  He usually does this with his feet or hands, but last night decided to do it with his forehead.  The problem is, he hadn't thought through the challenges and ended up with a face full of water.  He sat right back up and in a completely resigned voice said, "I hate this day."

AfleetAlex

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1672 on: December 12, 2016, 02:38:52 PM »
Not my child, but one I overheard while shopping. A mom and dad (I assume) had two kids in a stroller, both toddlers, although the son was really quiet. However, the daughter was having a rough time. I'm in the next aisle and I hear her wail, "I want to go home! I'm tired!" To which Dad said, "Well, take a nap." Daughter responded immediately in the same tone, "I'm not tired!"

The woman next to me and I started to giggle, just a little bit, and very quietly.
I have a chronic case of foot-in-mouth disease.

lilfox

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1673 on: February 01, 2017, 03:24:28 PM »
DD (7) has gotten into the bad habit of responding with mean things or negative tones pretty much all the time these days.  It's very grating, and last night was particularly rough.  I'd ask her to do something like hang up her coat, she'd snap at me, I'd come down on her for that, it was getting to be a vicious cycle.

So, when I came in to say goodnight, I talked to her a bit more about the negative and mean things and how we both need to change how we say things and what we say, and how we're both going to work on that starting tomorrow.  At the end, I paused to give her a chance to talk.  She said, "If I get the measles, will I throw up?"

????  Good talk, kid.

GreenEyedHawk

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1674 on: February 01, 2017, 07:32:27 PM »
From the Tonight Show:

"Overheard a kid in a department store tell his dad he needed to go 'number 3'"

 :o ???  ::)
"After all this time?"
"Always."

gramma dishes

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1675 on: February 01, 2017, 08:02:35 PM »
From the Tonight Show:

"Overheard a kid in a department store tell his dad he needed to go 'number 3'"

 :o ???  ::)

Oh yes.  Number 3 has been around since at least the late 1940s.  It's when you need to accomplish both 1 AND 2 in the same bathroom visit.  For a boy that would mean "Head for the stall.  No need to waste time at the urinal."

Harriet Jones

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1676 on: February 01, 2017, 10:26:18 PM »
From the Tonight Show:

"Overheard a kid in a department store tell his dad he needed to go 'number 3'"

 :o ???  ::)

Oh yes.  Number 3 has been around since at least the late 1940s.  It's when you need to accomplish both 1 AND 2 in the same bathroom visit.  For a boy that would mean "Head for the stall.  No need to waste time at the urinal."

Unfortunately, it's also a euphemism for something else that comes out of a male's body.

gramma dishes

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1677 on: February 02, 2017, 10:38:58 AM »
From the Tonight Show:

"Overheard a kid in a department store tell his dad he needed to go 'number 3'"

 :o ???  ::)

Oh yes.  Number 3 has been around since at least the late 1940s.  It's when you need to accomplish both 1 AND 2 in the same bathroom visit.  For a boy that would mean "Head for the stall.  No need to waste time at the urinal."

Unfortunately, it's also a euphemism for something else that comes out of a male's body.

 :o  I certainly didn't know that!!

Harriet Jones

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1678 on: February 02, 2017, 01:58:26 PM »
From the Tonight Show:

"Overheard a kid in a department store tell his dad he needed to go 'number 3'"

 :o ???  ::)

Oh yes.  Number 3 has been around since at least the late 1940s.  It's when you need to accomplish both 1 AND 2 in the same bathroom visit.  For a boy that would mean "Head for the stall.  No need to waste time at the urinal."

Unfortunately, it's also a euphemism for something else that comes out of a male's body.

 :o  I certainly didn't know that!!

I don't know how widespread the usage is, but I do hear it every once in a while

snowfire

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1679 on: February 02, 2017, 10:02:39 PM »
I've never heard of *that* referred to as a number 3. I've only heard about it in reference to a massive diaper blowout. (Like a throw the kid in the shower, burn the clothes type of blowout!)