Author Topic: Kids say the funniest things  (Read 195587 times)

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baglady

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #180 on: March 24, 2011, 01:19:02 PM »
Re "giraffe"/"draft": My friends' son, 14 at the time, was trying to tell that joke about the different animals in the refrigerator ... I can't remember how it really goes.

Kid: "What do you do if there's a giraffe in your refrigerator?"

Kid's dad and me, in unison: "Go to Canada!"

(We'd both misheard "giraffe" as "draft." And we're both old enough to remember the Vietnam-era military draft in the U.S. -- many young men went to Canada back then to avoid being drafted.)

I told this story to my fellow morris dancers, who all responded: "Draft in the fridge? Drink it!"
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Ponytail_Palm

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #181 on: March 24, 2011, 01:55:20 PM »
These stories about kids mishearing stuff remind me of something my little sister said when she was much younger.

One day she was having a conversation with our mom in which she assured Mom that she was going to do something. "I promise on my beaver," she solemnly stated. "What?! Where did you hear that?" Mom asked, shocked. "It's just an expression," Sis responded (one of her favorite phrases at the time). Mom, utterly confused (and hoping she'd forget it), let it go. Some time later, Sis came back. "I made a mistake," she said. "It's not 'I promise on my beaver.' It's 'I promise on my otter.'"

Poirot

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #182 on: March 24, 2011, 02:09:29 PM »
Okay, I'm telling on myself here, but this story is a classic in my family.

I have always had very dry skin prone to cracking and bleeding, especially at pressure points.

One day when I was around 4 I was having trouble with the skin at the backs of my knees. When we were sitting around the table for dinner, DSD asked me how I was that day. I apparently announced to the whole table:

"I'm bleeding from between my legs"  :-[

My brothers teased me about this for most of my childhood and teen years. My surviving brother still brings it up occasionally.  ;)
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Slartibartfast

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #183 on: April 03, 2011, 10:04:47 PM »
Babybartfast was fussy and asking for "mommy" in the church nursery today, so the nursery lady came to get me.  Nothing actually wrong, she was just grumpy about something.  Anyway, Babybartfast stopped fussing when I picked her up.

Me: "Babybartfast, do you want to stay here and play, or do you want to come sit quietly in the service with me?"
Her: (thinking for a minute) "I want to come sit in the circus with you, mommy!"
Me: "Service, not circus.  You have to be very quiet."
Her: "Oh."  (ponders some more)  "I want to see the service."

I don't know what she was expecting - circus or church service - but she was very quiet for the ten minutes or so we had left  :P

Elfmama

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #184 on: April 03, 2011, 10:19:31 PM »
Hey, I'd be grumpy if I thought mommy was at the circus, and stuck me here in the nursery!
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Rohanna

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #185 on: April 03, 2011, 11:22:19 PM »
We were driving back from a long weekend out (about an 8 hour drive) - and we gave DS (2 1/2) a cheese string to nibble on. After about 5 minutes we hear...

DS: "MummyDaddy I put cheese in my socks"


Us: "Ummmm....Why???"

DS: "Because then you can't see it!"

Oooooookay then, that makes sense I guess?

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WolfWay

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #186 on: April 04, 2011, 05:50:12 AM »
When I was about 4 my parents took me along to a cricket match. It was a fairly low key one at a ground without seating, so everyone was sitting on blankets and basically picnicking around the outer edges of the pitch while watching the match. Someone's dog was walking around sniffing everything, and I've always been very nervous about big dogs. Apparently I nervously eyed the dog as it drifted closer to us, until it reached the edge of our blanket, at which point I stood up, pointed imperiously at the dog and bellowed at the top of my lungs "<Expletive> OFF, DOG!"

I was awarded with a spontaneous round of laughter and some applause from the more drunken cricket fans around us.  ::)
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Piratelvr1121

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #187 on: April 14, 2011, 09:11:41 AM »
This morning I was getting dressed to take the boys to school early, or rather one of them because he had a field trip and while the school usually opens at 8:30, they had to be there at 7:30, no later than 8 to be able to go.

I'm 3 months along now and not really showing much other than a small bump that could just be mistaken for an extra bit of belly fat but since I'm not trying to call attention to it I was asking the boys if my outfit showed my bump.

Pirateboy 1 (nearly 10) says "Just a little" and Pirateboy 2 (8 ) said "No, I don't think so. Your baby fatness isn't showing yet."  Then as I'm giggling at "Baby fatness" he says "But I think your boobs are getting bigger!" 

Child, I don't think you should be assessing the size of your mother's chesticles.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Nora

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #188 on: April 14, 2011, 05:38:24 PM »

Child, I don't think you should be assessing the size of your mother's chesticles.

Ha! Chesticles!
Just because someone is offended that does not mean they are in the right.

sassydeej

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #189 on: April 15, 2011, 01:32:39 PM »
Last Sunday my DH, DD age 7, and I were getting back home from running a couple of errands.  DD commented on how nice it was that day and that we should go for a walk.....to the liquor store.   :o ::)  Both DH and I just looked at each other and shook our heads.  I think when she hits the teen years we will be kept on our toes.  The odd thing is we have only taken her with us to the liquor store down the block twice when we went to get a lottery ticket. 

Slartibartfast

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #190 on: April 15, 2011, 04:09:36 PM »
Babybartfast is at that "I want to do it - no, you do it - no, I want to do it waaaah!" phase right now  ::)  We're also mid-potty training, so that's a constant battle.  I overheard her conversation with DH last night while he was trying to get her to go:

(after much back and forth)
DH: Okay, now pull down your pants and I'll lift you onto the potty!  [We've really been working with her to get to the point she can do all the steps herself]
Babybartfast: No, you do it!
DH: You're a big girl!  You can do it!
Babybartfast: You're a big boy!  You do it!

DH had to duck out of the room so she didn't see him snickering  :P

MonteCristo

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #191 on: April 20, 2011, 03:15:20 PM »
My 4yo brother has a hard time pronouncing toilet...it  comes out two-it, which cracks us all up.  Last year my Dad was in the Phillipines visiting his fiance and had called the kids up on Skype the day before he was suppose to come home...as soon as DB4 saw Dad he announced "you better come home tomorrow or I will flush myself down the two-it!"  And he was so serious.  Now it is a family catchphrase!

lilfox

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #192 on: April 20, 2011, 04:30:50 PM »
We've been teaching DD some very simple sign language to help with mealtimes - signs for eat/food, milk, more, and all done.  She's good at the signs when she does them, though sometimes she only does them when prompted.

A few days ago I was feeding her dinner, which involves me cutting up various foods and putting them on her high chair tray, while also preparing dinner for DH and myself.  Every once in a while she'll squawk to indicate she has an empty tray and (sometimes) sign "more".  After about 10 minutes I notice she's getting increasingly agitated and still has food left on the tray, so I'm wracking my brain trying to figure out something else she might like to eat.  She's staring at me intently the whole time, and finally it dawns on me that she's been furiously signing "Milk" for a while now.

Her expressions just killed me - if looks were words, it would have been "Hello  :) I'm thirsty, milk please.  Hey Mom?  Milk?  :P Seriously, no more cheddar, I'd like some milk.  :-\ Milk.  Please.  ??? Really?  Are you really not getting this   ::)  ??"

I told her it's hard to find good help these days.

MommyPenguin

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #193 on: April 21, 2011, 12:24:30 AM »
That's really cute!  I can just see her getting increasingly frustrated.  "You taught me these signs, Mommy, and then you don't even notice that I'm making them?  What good are they?"

Bexx27

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #194 on: April 21, 2011, 07:20:40 AM »
We had the same problem with signing. DD started signing "milk" around 8 or 9 months, but we didn't realize she was doing it even though we'd tried to teach it to her. We just thought she was waving in kind of a funny way.  ::) After several days of this, her daycare provider said something about how great it was that she was signing "milk" and we were like, "oh...yeah..." Of course, it didn't help that DD was so excited about being able to communicate that she signed "milk" pretty much constantly and we still basically had to guess when she was actually hungry.
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