Kids say the funniest things

[gramma dishes]

Emily: "Mom, Jenny just ripped the box we were using to put dead people in.  Can we have a new one?"

Well, I certainly hope you gave her a plastic one for the replacement.  Can't have any kids running around with dead people falling helter skelter out of a torn box and bouncing off the floor.  That isn't very respectful!! 

[MommyPenguin]

I discovered later that the "dead people" referred to Jenny, who was pretending to be a little girl who had died.  Note: if you figure it's perfectly fine to watch "Emma" when your kids are around, because, hey, Jane Austen movies are pretty kid-safe, remember that this particular version has a scene early on where Emma's mother is smiling down at her, then is transformed (cut scene) to an image of her dead face just before the lid of the casket is put on.  I'm pretty sure that's why they started playing "dead people."

[MrsJWine]

We went to something called the Safe Kids Fair today (bunch of booths inside an expo center with a lot of kid-related merchandise and safety stuff). There was a terrifying mascot there--a guy in a gigantic inflatable suit walking around. Not the best idea at a kids' fair, folks. Anyhow, my three year old flipped her lid over it, and I pretended not to. Mascots freak me out a bit, too.

We sat down to lunch about ten minutes after our first sighting of this thing. She took a few contemplative bits, looked at me very seriously (but calmly) and said, "Muskrats are horrifying."

[dietcokeofevil]

While at Target the other day, my 4 year old DS wasn't listening to me, so I made him ride in the cart.  He got really mad and first told me I was no longer invited to his birthday party, then he decided to take away my favorite color and give me a new one.

[crella]

Oh no! Not your favorite color! That's too cute!

[purplemuse]

While at Target the other day, my 4 year old DS wasn't listening to me, so I made him ride in the cart.  He got really mad and first told me I was no longer invited to his birthday party, then he decided to take away my favorite color and give me a new one.

And if I had been you, I would then have sat him down and seriously (I don't mean sternly or angrily, but just that I wouldn't be joking) explained why you can't take a person's favorite color away.

Colors are important to me; maybe more than to normal people...

[twiggy]

DH was on the phone with his brother this evening. When he finished his conversation, he was chuckling in a "wow, our lives are really different" kind of way. We were getting ready for bed, and BIL had just woken up and started his day around 8:30. DS heard that BIL had just woken up and asked "Is Uncle nocturnal?"
DH was surprised that DS knows what nocturnal means, so he asked why DS thought Uncle was nocturnal. DS looked at his daddy as if he were a bit slow and told him "Like a Fennec Fox. Them sleep when the sun is up. Then them waked up at night time."

At that point I was giggling and I pointed out to DH that our frequent zoo trips are NOT a waste of time. In addition to being extremely fun, DS is learning things as well!

DS has also told DH that he (DS) is an "obnibore" because he eats chicken and fruitsandvegetables (it's one word when he says it  )

Oh, and about a month ago I wasn't feeling well, so I was trying to take a nap. DS climbed onto my bed and made a nest from every pillow on my bed, and the one from his as well. When he was done, he told me that he made me a night house.

***Ok, DH might have a point, we do go to the zoo an awful lot. I definitely get my money's worth from the annual membership 

[Piratelvr1121]

The babe was hilarious tonight, talking and talking non stop until he realized I was filming him.  Actually I managed to get him with my digital cam once and then decided to play it back to him.   Oh he was transfixed, just staring at the baby on the camera's screen in awe like "This guy is speaking my language!  I agree completely!! Wow!! It's like he knows just what I'm saying!  Freebird!"

Then I started getting tired and it was getting close to 10 so I take him up to his room where I changed him into his pj's, rubbed the lavender lotion all over him as he's babbling and giggling, and I'm talking back just a bit to say things like "Ooh really?" "You don't say!"  "Well I sure hope you told him what's for!"

Finally I decided we'd talked enough and put him in his crib and turned the mobile on. He's gotten to the point where he just is not a fan of the binky (pacifier) so anytime I put it in he talked around it till it fell out or he grabbed the little handle and pulled it out and stuck his fingers in as he was conversing with the monkey that hangs in the middle of the mobile.  (We named the monkey Jack-hey it's a nautical themed mobile, it works)

Then the babe decides it's time to really get into the debate and I'm trying to settle him down by not talking too much, just rubbing his belly and giving him his blanky, and from the sound of quiet it sounds like he did stop talking but lordy, it was like he was giving the State of the Union address tonight!

[MommyPenguin]

I remember reading a blog where a mother was talking about hearing her young toddler in her crib right when she woke up in the morning.  She said it was like the little girl was practicing all her words for the day.  "Lawnmower apple carrot bug ate no potty play chair doll ball hop shoes coat out leaf sit bye-bye now all gone..."

[Micah]

My four year old son and I still have a shower together. A little while ago, this exchange happened.
Son: "Mum, do you have a woodle?" (His name for a p*nis. A friend's mother taught it to him and I can't get him out of it)
Me: "No, darlin' I don't."
Son: (In tones of deep sadness and regret) "Ohhhh, did it fall off?"
Me: Hysterical laughter...

[Bluenomi]

DD wanted me to sit by her bed the other night when she was a bit upset. Just before she completely settled down for sleep she turned to me and dismissed me by telling me to go back to my own bed 

[AfleetAlex]

Thanks to E-Hellions, I was able to keep my cool during Thanksgiving dinner when my two-year-old nephew began announcing how much he liked his trucks and repeating the word over and over again - and of course sounding like he was cussing up a blue streak. (It was very difficult not to laugh though, especially as I was sitting next to him.)

My 89-year-old grandmother was laughing and saying "TRRRR-uck. TRRR-uck." Nephew didn't notice, even as the rest of the family started to crack up.

[Outdoor Girl]

My SIL is a speech language pathologist.  She has had many a parent come in with their child and say:  If nothing else, please teach my child how to say TRUCK!

[Seraphia]

My niece did exactly the opposite when she was little. She learned a few....colorful words from Daddy and Grampa when they were watching basketball. I was sitting next to her as she colored, and as she colored, she sang: "truck, truck, truck, truck, truck", except, of course, she wasn't singing that exact word.

My head may have come close to exploding from suppressed laughter.

[Piratelvr1121]

I always thought it was funny when my little brother was a toddler and would say "Thinger and fumb".  It wasn't a matter of not being able to say "th" or "f", he'd just get them mixed up.

My 10 and 9 year old STILL say "Emeny" for "Enemy".