Kids say the funniest things

[Jones]

My Baby Bear was in the front yard yesterday (fenced) when a woman on a bike rode by. He cried out "He-ey" and she called "Hello!" over her shoulder.

11 months old and flirting with athletic women. Yeesh. 

[Piratelvr1121]

My Baby Bear was in the front yard yesterday (fenced) when a woman on a bike rode by. He cried out "He-ey" and she called "Hello!" over her shoulder.

11 months old and flirting with athletic women. Yeesh. 

LOL!!

[purplemuse]

Overheard a little boy talking to his adult at the grocery, speaking in the most fascinated and excited tone:

"Did you know that we're made of meat? So when sharks eat people, it's because they like to eat meat too..."

They moved out of earshot after that, which is kind of unfortunate, as I would have liked to hear the rest.

[kajunchick]

My DS (age 3) has come up with a new way to ask for stuff. He says that his back hurts, with a very serious and concerned tone. He's just letting me know for my benefit, you see. 

"Mom, I want some coke. When your back hurts, you need coke."

"Mom, I want this cereal. When your back hurts, you need cereal."

"Mom, I want some more ice cream. When your back hurts, you need more ice cream."

[shadowfox79]

My DS (age 3) has come up with a new way to ask for stuff. He says that his back hurts, with a very serious and concerned tone. He's just letting me know for my benefit, you see. 

"Mom, I want some coke. When your back hurts, you need coke."

"Mom, I want this cereal. When your back hurts, you need cereal."

"Mom, I want some more ice cream. When your back hurts, you need more ice cream."

I have chronic back pain. I might see if that works on DH. "Honey, when your back hurts, you need a Mojito..."

[Piratelvr1121]

Oh well by all means I'll join in on that one! 

When you trip and scrape your shin on your front porch, you're going to need a Diet Coke with Kraken rum.

And when you drink that Diet Coke with Kraken Rum, you're going to need something to go with it.

When you need something to go with it, you get lots of crackers, dip and dark chocolate M&M's.

When you eat and drink all that and talk to your best friend, you're going to get very silly and giggle and moon over Johnny Depp/Jack Sparrow.

Get very silly and giggle and moon over Johnny Depp/Jack Sparrow.  (cause it makes you forget the scraped shin and it's better than reenacting scenes from Platoon with Charlie Sheen)

[Piratelvr1121]

And no, haven't started drinking *yet*, am just in a very silly mood!

[Sheila Take a Bow]

My DS (age 3) has come up with a new way to ask for stuff. He says that his back hurts, with a very serious and concerned tone. He's just letting me know for my benefit, you see. 

"Mom, I want some coke. When your back hurts, you need coke."

"Mom, I want this cereal. When your back hurts, you need cereal."

"Mom, I want some more ice cream. When your back hurts, you need more ice cream."

Last year, I brought my daughter (who had just turned 3) to the office for Take Your Kids to Work Day.  The day before, she had fallen at school and had a huge scrape across her knee, and a matching one on her elbow.

We went to visit my boss in his office, and she was being shy.  So he offered her a jelly bean, and told her it would make her knee feel better.

My daughter ate it.  When my boss asked her if she felt better, she said yes, but her elbow still hurt.

My boss can be a giant softie, so of course she got a second jelly bean.

[Julia Mercer]

DSis told DF and I this cute story about our 4 year old niece Faith. Marie (sister) woke up around 3 in the morning to EW, EW, EW, EW, EW, turns out that Faith had gotten sick all over her bed in her sleep, and woke up to it, and didn't realize what had happened. Marie had to explain what happened, as Faith was freaking out over being surrounded by puke.  What's funnier was her sister Laura, who's 9, shaking her head. Just the visual cracks me up, would be a perfect video for America's Funniest Home Videos.

Jules

[Nora]

Oh well by all means I'll join in on that one! 

When you trip and scrape your shin on your front porch, you're going to need a Diet Coke with Kraken rum.

And when you drink that Diet Coke with Kraken Rum, you're going to need something to go with it.

When you need something to go with it, you get lots of crackers, dip and dark chocolate M&M's.

When you eat and drink all that and talk to your best friend, you're going to get very silly and giggle and moon over Johnny Depp/Jack Sparrow.

Get very silly and giggle and moon over Johnny Depp/Jack Sparrow.  (cause it makes you forget the scraped shin and it's better than reenacting scenes from Platoon with Charlie Sheen)

I've had the worst day, and it's not even noon. I think the above is the way to fix it, will try tonight!

[Slartibartfast]

"Mommy, I'm helping you get out of bed because you're a little bit old."

Thanks, kid, but I'm pregnant, not old    (Although I guess anything over 25 is "old" to a three-year-old.)

[lilfox]

Another from DD (2):

I put a blanket over the seat in front of her carseat, so her shoes don't get the back of the seat muddy.  Lately she's been using that blanket to pull over her legs and any toys she's carrying, as if she's going to nap.  A few days ago, she's back there babbling away and when I heard her voice get sharper, I started to tune in:
"NO, leg, you go to sleep now, it night-night time!  Okay, I love you, good night!"

(She was pulling the blanket over her legs and it was catching on one of her shoes, leaving one leg uncovered.  So she was scolding it for not being ready to go to bed.)

She also complained about a shoe that was big and kept slipping off: "My shoe not listening!"

[Piratelvr1121]

Another from DD (2):

I put a blanket over the seat in front of her carseat, so her shoes don't get the back of the seat muddy.  Lately she's been using that blanket to pull over her legs and any toys she's carrying, as if she's going to nap.  A few days ago, she's back there babbling away and when I heard her voice get sharper, I started to tune in:
"NO, leg, you go to sleep now, it night-night time!  Okay, I love you, good night!"

(She was pulling the blanket over her legs and it was catching on one of her shoes, leaving one leg uncovered.  So she was scolding it for not being ready to go to bed.)

She also complained about a shoe that was big and kept slipping off: "My shoe not listening!"

LOL!!! Oh that is hysterical!!  Funny, I could see my aunt Mary overhearing a small child saying this and then saying "Oh, I'm so using that the next time I go to bed!" (She has Restless Leg Syndrome)

[Outdoor Girl]

I have two from a coworker:

She was shopping with her little ones - 2 yr old girl and 3 yr old boy.  Her DD pointed to the 'parent parking' sign (which shows a mother holding a child's hand) and was saying 'Mama, Mama, Mama'.  Coworker replied that yes, it was a mother with her baby.  Then DD points to the wheelchair sign for the disabled parking spot and says 'Daddy'.  Coworker was crying she was laughing so hard.  And she told her husband about it later.  He didn't find it at all amusing which just set her off even more.

She was playing a game with her DS where they were pretending to be different animals and she was saying 'Tweet, tweet, tweet'.  Her son asked why she was making that sound so she told him she was a bird.  He grabbed her b00bs and said, 'Because you have eggs!'

[Piratelvr1121]

Oh that is hilarious!!!

I had to laugh a bit yesterday and this morning at my middle pirate.  Brigid (best friend) is currently visiting Ireland and as she gave me her itinerary I've been following along to figure out where she is and what she'll see, and have been making it kind of a fun geography/culture lesson for the older two of the crew.

Well yesterday we were looking on Google maps for St. Patrick's Cathedral which we saw was located on Patrick and Upper Kevin St.   Now, middle pirate's first and middle name is Kevin Fitzpatrick.  He blurted out "It's named after ME!!" (he's 9, by the way)

I laughed and said "Honey, St. Patrick's Cathedral's been around looooooong before even your Auntie Brigid was a twinkle in God's eye.  Those streets have been around not quite as long as the cathedral, I'm sure, but they're been there before I was born, I'm sure so they are not named after you."

This morning Brigid emails me to "Tell Kevin we're going to visit St. Kevin country today!"  So I did and told him that St. Kevin is the patron saint of Dublin. "So I'm the ruler of DUBLIN!"  I could almost see his head inflate till I said "Sorry, kiddo, saints don't rule lands."