Kids say the funniest things

[Sirius]

When my youngest nephew was about 2 years old he wasn't much of a talker, but he was a very happy kid.  One day I had stopped to visit with his mother, and when I was leaving he accompanied us to the door.  I said, "Bye bye, Nephew."  He said "Bye bye!" and slammed the door in my face.  My sister opened the door.  She was laughing and she said, "He figures that when you say 'bye bye' you're out of here!"

[PaintingPastelPrincess]

When I was about 6, I had been learning all about where foods come from.  My family was at the fair looking at all the animals and I was commentating "This is a cow, they make beef, like hamburgers.  Oh, and milk.  This is a chicken, it lays eggs."  My brother was about 3 at the time, and was paying rapt attention.  He looks up at my dad and says "So, dad, what animal does corn come from?"  When dad told him it grew from the ground, Chris stomped his foot and say "Don't be silly! Food comes from AMnimals.  It's...MEAT!"

[MommyPenguin]

My husband jokes that the girls are penguins and they have "stinky penguin feet."

Also, at dinner, the girls don't have to eat all of their meal, but they must try a "no, thank you" bite of each item.

So it shouldn't have been a surprise when DH was having a tickle/tummy-eating fight with LittlePenguin, and she told him to eat her "stinky penguin feet."  He said, "Ew!" and made gagging noises.  So she told him, "You have to try a no thank-you bite of stinky penguin feet!"

[MizB]

That is hilarious!!!

[White Dragon]

Oldest DD was about 4 I we were trying to teach her the joke "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
She looked genuinely puzzled and said "But...chickens are food!"
That has become an iconic family phrase. 

DS - at the end of a long car trip, where we've seen many sights, lots of livestock etc.
He suddenly sat up, pointed out the window and exclaimed, in a truely shocked tone "Oh No! Cows!"
To this day, we don't know why the cows were so alarming, but it was funnier than all get out!

Driving through a residential neighbourhood, a wild rabbit darts across the road.
DS, at ear-shattering-make-mom-swerve-the-car-volume shrieks "Bunny on the loose!"
Gah! 

[magiccat26]

Driving through a residential neighbourhood, a wild rabbit darts across the road.
DS, at ear-shattering-make-mom-swerve-the-car-volume shrieks "Bunny on the loose!"
Gah! 

LOL!  Kitten always screams, "BUNNY BUTT!!"

[Delia DeLyons]

     Ahhhh... I love this stuff.... 

[Dazi]

I am so outing myself on this one.

I guess I was about 2 1/2-3.  I believe we were at a church BBQ.  One woman compliments another lady's hairdo...and I scream as loud as I can, "IT'S A WIG!"...someone clamped a hand over my mouth before anything else was belted out.

The week before her wig fell off and I freaked out because her head was coming off...so she showed me how a wig worked.  I guess I wanted to share the info  ...at least she thought is was really funny.  My parents were mortified.

[Enigmatism]

At Christmas dinner DH decided that we were all going to tell each other what we really thought of each other  The rules were nothing mean, constructive criticism and nice things. What could possibly go wrong.

DS started with DH
DS: Well you're going bald, you're really lazy in the morning
DH: 
DS: (trying to be nice)You have a long w!lly
Me and DD: 
DH: 

We stopped after that!

[PurpleFrog]

Frogmans youngest niece (5) is a goldmine for these.

A,conversation from when she had just turned 4:

MIL: What do you want to be when you grow up?

YN: A Doctor

MIL: And what do doctors do, YN?

YN: Fight Darleks (sp)


A couple of weeks ago YN was playing when she turned to SIL out of the blue and said:
'Mummy when you die I'll always remember you'.

[faithlessone]

Frogmans youngest niece (5) is a goldmine for these.

A,conversation from when she had just turned 4:

MIL: What do you want to be when you grow up?

YN: A Doctor

MIL: And what do doctors do, YN?

YN: Fight Darleks (sp)

(Daleks)

That is a little girl who will grow up to do great things! You should be very proud of her.

[MrsJWine]

My daughter got a Raggedy Ann doll for Christmas.  She calls it Mami.  No idea why.  I'm "Mama," and she almost never hears the word "mommy," so I prefer to think she's secretly learning Spanish.  She's been dragging it around the apartment, imitation all the things I do with both the kids.  It makes for hours of hysterical laughter for us.  But my favorite was when she was "changing" the doll, peeked into the imaginary diaper, and whispered exactly the way I do when confronted with a horrible diaper, "Ah mah gash Mami."  It was my white-knuckled whisper of absolute control over extreme horror, and she nailed it.  I think she will be a great mimic one day.

[Sheila Take a Bow]

Last night, Peanut (who's 2 1/2) had a time out because she wasn't listening to DH.  DH gave her the "you have to listen to Mommy and Daddy" lecture.

A few minutes later, I asked DH to put away a pot that he should have put away when he dried the dishes the night before.  It was now in my way, and I wanted it put away.  Five or ten minutes later, when I really, really needed the space and the pot was still there, I asked DH why he hadn't put it away yet.

Peanut pointed her finger at DH and said, "You need to listen to Mommy!  You need to go to timeout!"  He tried to walk away from her and she grabbed his hand and walked him to the timeout steps and told him, "You need to go to timeout!  Sit down!  I am so mad at you!"

She got the kitchen timer, asked me to set it, and then left it over by the timeout steps.  She grabbed my hand, pointed at DH again, and told him, "Stay there!  Don't move!  We'll be back!"  Then she walked me into the kitchen.

Before DH could get up from his timeout, he was given another lecture on why he had to listen to Mommy and how he made her so mad.

[Xallanthia]

Last night, Peanut (who's 2 1/2) had a time out because she wasn't listening to DH.  DH gave her the "you have to listen to Mommy and Daddy" lecture.

A few minutes later, I asked DH to put away a pot that he should have put away when he dried the dishes the night before.  It was now in my way, and I wanted it put away.  Five or ten minutes later, when I really, really needed the space and the pot was still there, I asked DH why he hadn't put it away yet.

Peanut pointed her finger at DH and said, "You need to listen to Mommy!  You need to go to timeout!"  He tried to walk away from her and she grabbed his hand and walked him to the timeout steps and told him, "You need to go to timeout!  Sit down!  I am so mad at you!"

She got the kitchen timer, asked me to set it, and then left it over by the timeout steps.  She grabbed my hand, pointed at DH again, and told him, "Stay there!  Don't move!  We'll be back!"  Then she walked me into the kitchen.

Before DH could get up from his timeout, he was given another lecture on why he had to listen to Mommy and how he made her so mad.

Is it terrible that I hope a future child of mine tries this on DH someday?  He is very easily distracted and could use some review...

[PaintingPastelPrincess]

My friends have a 2.5 year old son.  Erica called me the other night, in hysterical tears (due to laughing so hard) to tell me that in the few seconds she left her son alone, he'd moved the toaster onto the "Time Out" chair in the kitchen.  She came in to find him standing in front of it, hands on hips, glaring at it.  Coming a little closer, she sees that his Woody (from Toy Store) action figure is sticking up out of one of the sides.

Casey looks up at her, still glaring, and goes "Well, after all that bread, it finally got hungry."