Author Topic: Kids say the funniest things  (Read 161504 times)

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Lashley

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #15 on: December 10, 2010, 11:27:24 AM »
When my fiancé, K, was about 3, he was riding with his mom to his brother's cub scout meeting. His brother is 5 years older, and his mom was the cub scout leader. She was running late (apparently this wasn't unusual.)

She was pulled over by a police officer. When he leaned in and said "ma'am, you were speeding by over 10 miles an hour over the speed limit", K leans over and yells: MOMMY DOES THAT!!!

Oh, OUCH!  ;D

Yep...she definitely got that ticket!

Clara Bow

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #16 on: December 10, 2010, 12:35:39 PM »
Last night at supper Little Man lifted his leg up in my husband's direction and said "Hey Dad, I just aimed a small fart at you!"

Farting on Daddy has been Little Man's thing since birth.
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Marisol

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #17 on: December 10, 2010, 12:38:24 PM »
Some good friends of mine are both nerdy engineers, but their three-year-old daughter is the girliest girly girl ever.  She is also very, very tall, and tends to get a lot of people commenting about how she'll probably play basketball when she grows up.

So yet another person yesterday asked their daughter if she was into sports:

Adult: I bet you'll be good at sports, honey!
Daughter (to my friend): Mommy, I want to play a sport!
My friend: Which one?
Daughter: The pink one!

My friend tried to explain that sports aren't categorized by color, and her daughter sighed and said "Okay, the purple one then."

I want to play the pink sport too!

Sirius

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #18 on: December 10, 2010, 03:28:08 PM »
I don't have kids, so this is a story told about my oldest nephew.  He was the child who'd come in after playing and ask his mother, "Mom, what does @#$%&*@#$% #@$%#@@# mean?"  Sis said he asked matter-of-factly, and she realized that he was just curious as to the meaning.  She said she gave him an abridged definition, then asked calmly, "Where did you hear that?"  From one of his friends.  Nephew and friend were around 7 at the time.

A later one that I was an eyewitness to:  Same nephew as above.  He walked into their home with a friend, and they were apparently talking about what they wanted to do when they grew up.  Nephew said, "When I get really, really old like my dad - you know, 29 - I want to build things."  I looked over at BIL, who had the newspaper in front of his face, but the newspaper was shaking.  He was laughing his head off back there.  The kids went back outside, and we all laughed our heads off.

Different nephew, brother to the nephew mentioned above:  I was talking to Sis on the phone, when I heard, "I want some bologna!" in the background.  This was repeated several times, until Sis said, "Just a minute," to me and said to her son, "I have already told you twice and your father has told you once - we don't have any bologna!  Now go away!"  It was a few minutes before Aunt Sirius stopped laughing.

Both of the above nephews are now adults.  The bologna-nagger is a teacher, and he told me back when he was in college that he had had too much to drink one night, but his mother made him get up and go to school.  It was in the middle of summer in Texas, so we're talking hot weather, plus the air conditioning in the building where his classes were had broken down.  Then there was a bomb threat at the same time as a power failure, and he had to traipse down six flights of stairs with a raging hangover in the heat.  He told me, "I was sick as a dog, but I learned my lesson.  I haven't had a drink since then." 

deadbody

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #19 on: December 10, 2010, 03:44:38 PM »
This just happened last night.  DS is 12, and had a band concert (he plays the trumpet), he shares a music stand with a girl, and we could see them talking all concert.  THis alone is sufficent for me to spend the evening teasing him about girls :)

They played a part of the Journey song "Don't Stop Believen'"  so Mrs. Deadbody and I had been humming and singing it a bit.

As he was going to bed the Mrs. and I were talking and I busted out a "Don't Stop Believen'"

He shot back in perfect time "Why don't you be quiet" perfectly inflected to match the song.

I had to sit down I was laughing so hard.

magiccat26

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #20 on: December 10, 2010, 03:58:51 PM »
The other day we were out shopping and DD(8) tells me she's hungry.  I inform her that we will run through MickyD's once we run one more errand.  Kitten throws herself dramatically back into her seat and says, "Mom, I'm STARVING and McDonald's is the only antidote!"  *sigh*
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bookworm317

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #21 on: December 10, 2010, 05:29:13 PM »
Some good friends of mine are both nerdy engineers, but their three-year-old daughter is the girliest girly girl ever.  She is also very, very tall, and tends to get a lot of people commenting about how she'll probably play basketball when she grows up.

So yet another person yesterday asked their daughter if she was into sports:

Adult: I bet you'll be good at sports, honey!
Daughter (to my friend): Mommy, I want to play a sport!
My friend: Which one?
Daughter: The pink one!

My friend tried to explain that sports aren't categorized by color, and her daughter sighed and said "Okay, the purple one then."

I want to play the pink sport too!

What IS the pink sport, anyway?

geordicat

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #22 on: December 10, 2010, 06:00:13 PM »
When geordicat jr was about 2 1/2, maybe 3, we were at grandma's house visiting.  He managed to pull grandma's yellow dishwashing gloves off the sink.   He put them on his feet, then looked at his feet.  He looked at us and were were all trying not to laugh, then he looked back at his feet and said "I'm a chicken.  BOCK BOCK BOCK!" and walked around the house.
Light travels faster than sound.  That's why some people appear bright until they open their mouth.

MrsJWine

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #23 on: December 10, 2010, 06:04:21 PM »
When geordicat jr was about 2 1/2, maybe 3, we were at grandma's house visiting.  He managed to pull grandma's yellow dishwashing gloves off the sink.   He put them on his feet, then looked at his feet.  He looked at us and were were all trying not to laugh, then he looked back at his feet and said "I'm a chicken.  BOCK BOCK BOCK!" and walked around the house.

That's hilarious!

Which reminds me of something else.  My daughter was maybe 18 months when this happened.  She was in an especially picky phase (all of her phases since 12 months have been picky, but this one was REALLY bad).  I was finishing getting dinner out to the table and yelled to my husband from the kitchen, "Maybe the reason she won't eat chicken is that we keep seeing chickens in all her books, and she knows they're living animals."  All I heard from the dining room was gales of laughter.  I walk in and say, "What?  It's not that crazy."  He said, "Hon?  Do you know what she just did?  She just crammed five pieces of chicken into her mouth while yelling, 'Chicken!  BOK BOK BOK!'"


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geordicat

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #24 on: December 10, 2010, 06:30:06 PM »
When geordicat jr was about 2 1/2, maybe 3, we were at grandma's house visiting.  He managed to pull grandma's yellow dishwashing gloves off the sink.   He put them on his feet, then looked at his feet.  He looked at us and were were all trying not to laugh, then he looked back at his feet and said "I'm a chicken.  BOCK BOCK BOCK!" and walked around the house.

That's hilarious!

Which reminds me of something else.  My daughter was maybe 18 months when this happened.  She was in an especially picky phase (all of her phases since 12 months have been picky, but this one was REALLY bad).  I was finishing getting dinner out to the table and yelled to my husband from the kitchen, "Maybe the reason she won't eat chicken is that we keep seeing chickens in all her books, and she knows they're living animals."  All I heard from the dining room was gales of laughter.  I walk in and say, "What?  It's not that crazy."  He said, "Hon?  Do you know what she just did?  She just crammed five pieces of chicken into her mouth while yelling, 'Chicken!  BOK BOK BOK!'"

:D:D  Chicken!  BOK BOK BOK!

guess what's for dinner here?
Light travels faster than sound.  That's why some people appear bright until they open their mouth.

Slartibartfast

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #25 on: December 10, 2010, 06:46:51 PM »
When geordicat jr was about 2 1/2, maybe 3, we were at grandma's house visiting.  He managed to pull grandma's yellow dishwashing gloves off the sink.   He put them on his feet, then looked at his feet.  He looked at us and were were all trying not to laugh, then he looked back at his feet and said "I'm a chicken.  BOCK BOCK BOCK!" and walked around the house.

That's hilarious!

Which reminds me of something else.  My daughter was maybe 18 months when this happened.  She was in an especially picky phase (all of her phases since 12 months have been picky, but this one was REALLY bad).  I was finishing getting dinner out to the table and yelled to my husband from the kitchen, "Maybe the reason she won't eat chicken is that we keep seeing chickens in all her books, and she knows they're living animals."  All I heard from the dining room was gales of laughter.  I walk in and say, "What?  It's not that crazy."  He said, "Hon?  Do you know what she just did?  She just crammed five pieces of chicken into her mouth while yelling, 'Chicken!  BOK BOK BOK!'"

Ha!  Babybartfast is having a hard time sorting out "baby birds come from eggs" and "mommy cooks eggs for breakfast."  She keeps requesting eggs then not eating them, and it took a few times before DH and I figured out she was expecting to see little baby birds sitting happily in the frying pan.

Then FIL explained that the splatter on his windshield was because a bird pooped on it, and that birds poop while flying, so every time we see a bird flying we get to hear all about how it is pooping on cars  ::)

Dazi

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #26 on: December 10, 2010, 07:14:43 PM »
These are great...........
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dman

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #27 on: December 10, 2010, 08:10:27 PM »
This happened when dd2 was around 3-4 yrs old.  She had been constipated for a few days.  One day she walked out of the bathroom (without flushing) with a very very concerned look on her face.  She then asked me very seriously, "Mom, can you poop out your bones?"  I had to hold back the laughter while I explained that, no it was just a very hard poop.  She goes back in the bathroom, calls me in & says "Are you sure?  Because I think that is some skin in there."  There was some tissue in the toilet bowl as well as the "bones"  It was all I could do to hold back but she was so concerned!

MightyMouse

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #28 on: December 10, 2010, 08:25:59 PM »
When geordicat jr was about 2 1/2, maybe 3, we were at grandma's house visiting.  He managed to pull grandma's yellow dishwashing gloves off the sink.   He put them on his feet, then looked at his feet.  He looked at us and were were all trying not to laugh, then he looked back at his feet and said "I'm a chicken.  BOCK BOCK BOCK!" and walked around the house.

That's hilarious!

Which reminds me of something else.  My daughter was maybe 18 months when this happened.  She was in an especially picky phase (all of her phases since 12 months have been picky, but this one was REALLY bad).  I was finishing getting dinner out to the table and yelled to my husband from the kitchen, "Maybe the reason she won't eat chicken is that we keep seeing chickens in all her books, and she knows they're living animals."  All I heard from the dining room was gales of laughter.  I walk in and say, "What?  It's not that crazy."  He said, "Hon?  Do you know what she just did?  She just crammed five pieces of chicken into her mouth while yelling, 'Chicken!  BOK BOK BOK!'"

That is the cutest and funniest thing I've ever heard!   ;D

Slartibartfast

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #29 on: December 12, 2010, 09:29:52 PM »
New one!  It's snowing outside (which is extremely unusual for our area), and DH took Babybartfast outside to look.  She informed him that snow falls from the clouds because it has no wings.  (Which I guess is technically true . . .)