Kids say the funniest things

[baglady]

All those foot races and golf tournaments and such to benefit breast cancer research -- those are the pink sports!

My friends' daughter "Nina" was about 2 1/2 when she had this conversation with her mama, who had just told her they needed to go buy some honey, because the weather was turning cold and they'd be drinking more tea. Nina proceeded to list all the people she knew who liked tea, including Friend X, Friend Y, Grandma and Nana ... then she got to Gramps.

"Gramps likes tea!"

Mama: "Well, Gramps drinks tea *sometimes,* but mostly he likes coffee."

Nina: "And BEER!"

(Her Gramps is my friend, too, and he definitely likes beer! But Nina's parents were surprised to discover that she already knew that.)

[MizB]

When Mr. O moved to Colorado and I was still living in Illinois my 7 year old niece was distraught. She's only met him a handful of times, but she thinks he is fantastic.

One day she walked up to me and told me, "I hope things work out for you and Mr. O, because you are the perfect couple."

It was a handful of aww, hilarious (how would she know this?) and heartbreaking because I had no idea what the future was going to bring.

[Delia DeLyons]

     Maybe I do have one after all...

     My little brother was about 4 at the time and had been very sick all week.  He was starting to get better and was playing again, etc., but he still had to stick to a schedule of medicine doses.

     I remember my sis and I were at the kitchen table playing something when my mom called my little brother in to get his due dose of medicine.

     Little brother bops in, moving in a very mechanical and rigid way... he stops in front of my mom and turns his face up towards hers and says quite seriously, and in his best robot voice "I don't need medicine.  I'm a robot"  and then procedes to turn and bop away doing his robot walk.

     We all cracked up, including my mom, who was so taken aback in the moment that she hadn't responded to him at all... and now had to go track him down and get him to take the medicine, robot or not.   

[Pinky830]

All those foot races and golf tournaments and such to benefit breast cancer research -- those are the pink sports!

My friends' daughter "Nina" was about 2 1/2 when she had this conversation with her mama, who had just told her they needed to go buy some honey, because the weather was turning cold and they'd be drinking more tea. Nina proceeded to list all the people she knew who liked tea, including Friend X, Friend Y, Grandma and Nana ... then she got to Gramps.

"Gramps likes tea!"

Mama: "Well, Gramps drinks tea *sometimes,* but mostly he likes coffee."

Nina: "And BEER!"

(Her Gramps is my friend, too, and he definitely likes beer! But Nina's parents were surprised to discover that she already knew that.)

DS announced loudly in the grocery store line...I think he was 4..."Mommy's buying WINE! Wine is for grownups!"

[Silversurfer]

DS announced loudly in the grocery store line...I think he was 4..."Mommy's buying WINE! Wine is for grownups!"

BWAHAHAHHAHAH

[Wonderflonium]

A friend of mine got pulled over for speeding. She was trying to talk her way out of the ticket. She apologized and said that normally, she never speeds. From the back seat, her daughter piped up with, "Yes she does!"

[NestHolder]

I was in the car with my sister and her children, going to visit our grandmother.  On the way up the motorway, her son spotted a Burger King sign at the motorway services, and piped up:

"I want to go there!  I want to go there!"

"Well, that's just tough," said I.

"I want to go to Tough!"

[jassou]

During christmas dinner this year, with parents in law, BIL, SIL and their three kids, husband and me, we're discussing what is your favourite flavour ice cream.

Me: "I love mocca ice cream!"
4-year old nephew: "Oh that's just STUPID!"

(cue BIL and SIL saying that's not very nice, other people have different opinions, etc. The talk over flavours continues...)

Me: "And what about strawberry cheesecake flavour?"
4-year old nephew: "That's St- ... not something I really like."

[kajunchick]

I have a speeding ticket story. My mom was going about 10 miles over the limit, and she got pulled over for speeding. My two little brothers and I were with her. They were 2 and 4 years old at the time. When mom was waiting for the cop to walk up to the car, LB4 asked, "Is he going to shoot Momma?" and LB2 said, "Go, Momma!" 

They are 23 and 21 years old now, and those comments turned out to be a prediction for their future personalities. LB4 is steady, responsible, etc. while LB2 is a little more "out there". 

[Ms_Cellany]

I was grilling and eating on the back porch once, when one of the neighbor kids came over (with permission - they were all very polite). He asked for a taste of my homemade gazpacho.

He smacked his lips, looked very thoughtful, and politely said: "I think I hate it a little bit."

[Xallanthia]

It's funny to hear all the toddlers who are distraught to learn the source of their meat products, because the last one I've dealt with--my DH's cousin--is exactly the opposite.  Not only does she LOVE meat (she begs for turkey the instant it comes out of the oven), she's excited to learn where it came from.  She's adopted from China and we're pretty sure she was fostered at a farm, so that could be part of it.

The cutest thing to me though was at our wedding.  She saw us all dressed up and declared that we were "Princess Xal" and "Prince Charming."  At Thanksgiving later that month, I got to keep my title but DH went back to being DH. 

Her older sister was 7-8 when DH and I got married, and was greatly amused that she and I very nearly share a name (it has the same root but a different ending--like Laura and Lauren).  She immediately decided that she would call me her name and I would call her mine.  This lasted about a day before she gave me these very big, worried eyes and said, "Can I go back to being *hername* now?"

[2littlemonkeys]

My ODD(5) tends to run warm, so she often takes off her pj pants when she's sleeping.  One night, we were settling in for story time and she said, "Mom, I'm going to take off my pants now.  Because that's what I do."

I wish I could convey the tone but it was so matter of fact and as if she were relaying a message of great importance.   

Another day, we were having a Wardrobe Battle.  Now, I try to avoid Wardrobe Battles by getting her involved in the selection process the night before.  It was picture day and we'd picked out an outfit the night before.  However, the next day she changed her mind and insisted on wearing a really grubby, holey pair of pants.  I told her she was not going to wear those pants to school.

"Well, YOU'RE not wearing THOSE pants to work!  How do you like THAT?"

It was very sassy and naughty but I had a *really* hard time keeping a straight face with that one.  (We ended up finding a pair of pants we could both live with and had a chat about how I'm her mother.)

[Outdoor Girl]

My parents had my youngest nephew to themselves for a day or two before my brother, SIL and oldest nephew came down.  It was lunchtime and my SIL poured milk for both boys.  Youngest one says, 'Grandpa gives me chocolate milk!'

Busted!

[katiescarlett]

My niece is 5 and my nephew is 2, so they come up with some funny stuff.

My nephew is not a big talker, we call him the one word man.  However, at this past Christmas, he crawled under my grandma's coffee table, waited until he thought everyone was looking at him, then started yelling, help help I tuck, I tuck! (stuck)

My niece at age 3, when asked what she wanted to drink, informed me that she wanted apple juice because it would make her heart happy.

She told me shortly after losing her first two teeth in a week (this past November) that the reason she had been so good lately was because now that she was losing her teeth, she was growing up.

I think my favorite things recently though, were when my nephew had his woody doll from toy story and the hat kept falling off.  He would look up at me with this sad little face, and say "Uh-oh, Woowy"!  And my niece is forever drawing pictures for us as a surprise, so she wants you to close your eyes and hold out your hands.  Only she says close your eyes and hand out your hands!

[IDriveADodgeStratus]

I told my DD when she was about three that she was so cute I could eat her up. Her reply was straight out of Sponge Bob:  "Sorry, Mommy, I'm not on the menu!"

She once exclaimed of some lemonade "This sure is spicy, but it sure is good!"

My 18 month old doesn't say much, but the other day when we drove up to the barn where I board my horse, he pointed out the window at all the horses in the pasture and yelled "deee-ah!" (deer)