Kids say the funniest things

[magiccat26]

Last night DH was uploading some old High School pictures to his FaceBook account.  Kitten wanders into the office to see what Daddy is doing and DH points himself out in the pictures.

After a moment of silence, Kitten (dead serious) says, "Wow Daddy, I didn't know they had color pictures way back then!"

(DH graduated in 1989  )

[hobish]

. . .  she thinks passing gas while on the potty is the coolest thing ever 

LOL!  So do I.

It's much better when it happens "there" than when it happens in the aisle at the grocery store!!!   

She's just figured out what "invisible" means, so she's convinced that gas is invisible poop.  I'm not really sure how to explain that one.

This has been giving me the giggles since yesterday when i first read it. 

[wonderfullyanonymous]

My brother always teased my sister on her pronunciation of burger. It comes out a combination of booger and burger. Not as much "oo" but also not enough "ur".

When we'd go to McDonald's she'd want a cheeseburger, but after my brother's incessant teasing, she started eating Big Macs.

[Pinky830]

My brother always teased my sister on her pronunciation of burger. It comes out a combination of booger and burger. Not as much "oo" but also not enough "ur".

When we'd go to McDonald's she'd want a cheeseburger, but after my brother's incessant teasing, she started eating Big Macs.

My daughter's long "o" sounds are a bit like an "oo" sound. She always talks about "oopening" doors.

[Eisa]

This is a story of something I said.  My mom delights in telling even complete strangers this, so I might as well tell it now!

When I was 2, my mom said something like "come here, my little baby." Something along those lines.

I stamped my foot and said, "I'm not a baby! I'm a woman!"

  

[Marisol]

My friend's son:  When I grow up I am going to have lots of weed!
Us: ...
His dad:  What?  Weed?
My friend's son:  Yes, because then I can make my own bread!
His dad:  Oh!  You mean "wheat".  Bread is made of wheat!  You want to have lots of wheat.

[Dazi]

When a friend of mine was potty training her daughter, the child discovered boys could go standing up....so she wanted to and was very disappointed that she couldn't. 

She walked around for weeks saying "I want a p*nis!" at very bad times and very loudly.  The best part it when she used a slinky to demonstate though.   

[kajunchick]

When a friend of mine was potty training her daughter, the child discovered boys could go standing up....so she wanted to and was very disappointed that she couldn't. 

She walked around for weeks saying "I want a p*nis!" at very bad times and very loudly.  The best part it when she used a slinky to demonstate though.   

Thank you, I just snorted Dr. Pepper after reading that! 

I was rocking my DS last night, and my DD was dancing around the living room. It was distracting DS, so I asked her to stop. (She's 5.) She looked at me and said, "But I NEED to dance!" 

[jayhawk]

"Gotta dance, gotta dance!"

[portugo]

When I was little, I came across the word "prostitute" while reading the synopsis of Les Miserables.  I asked my mom what it meant, and she sat me down for a little life lesson and carefully explained it.  I replied, "Oh, you mean you a hooker?"  That's when she decided I'd watched too much Night Court.   

[crella]

 

[Íkorna]

I'm pretty sure I haven't shared this one... When I was younger, the nurse at my dentist's office was named Sylvia. Every time I was there and I said hello to her my mom had to correct me-- "No, honey, it's Sylvia, not Saliva." Luckily, Sylvia had a great sense of humor about it!  

[JonGirl]

Someone I know died last year and "Ring of fire" was played at the funeral.
Yesterday out of the blue my son, 6, asks, "do you remember when we went to Johnny Cash's funeral"?
Me and dh looked at each other with a  expression and then burst out laughing.
We said no, mate, not Johnny Cash's but he still insists. 

[JoW]

I heard this one from the Grandmother of the little boy ---

A 4-year old boy accidentally walked in the bathroom while his 8-month pregnant mother was showering.  A few days later, out of the blue, the little boy tells his dad "I know what color the baby's hair is going to be", then announced the color.  Later that day the mother and father were discussing it.  The color the boy named was the color of the hair he saw when his mother was in the shower.  Yes, that hair. 

[gmama]

My 2yr old twins adore Thomas the Tank Engine.  There's a segment in the show where they show a jumbled puzzle and you're supposed to guess which train it's showing as the pieces slowly shift into place.  When the puzzle is solved the narrator says loudly "It's Thomas!!!" (or whatever the character's name is).  One day the narrator said "It's Percy!!". 

My very vocal twin can't pronounce the s in 'it's' and his Percy sounds more like p*ssy.  So we were treated to his constantly yelling "eat p*ssy!!"  ALL. WEEK. LONG.