Kids say the funniest things

[parrot_girl]

My 10 yr old daughter said last night that the leader of the opposition party in Australia looked disturbing. She has such a wonderful turn of phrase. 

I like the way your daughter thinks!

[kajunchick]

From my 5yo niece: "The mosquitoes are badder at my house. I mean, they're worse."
Pause. "Badder isn't a word, except if you're talking about baseball."

[Martienne]

From my 5yo niece: "The mosquitoes are badder at my house. I mean, they're worse."
Pause. "Badder isn't a word, except if you're talking about baseball."

Or pancakes!

[RebeccainGA]

My DD (19!) was helping us pack for our recent move. I noticed last night when I opened a box that it was labelled "Bungie chords". I know she's a musician, but...

My niece, 3, had to make her first big decision: what to name the dog - the shelter had given it a ridiculous name. She decided the dog's name is Mardi, because her mom told her Mardi Gras is Fat Tuesday, and the dog was fat. (not realizing that she really named the dog Tuesday, but that's OK - she's three!). She is still deciding on her Halloween costume. My mom took her to PetSmart to get some dog food, and they were looking at costumes for the dog. Mom sees a bee costume that's the right size and asks niece if she wants to get that one, because then niece could dress up like a flower and they would match. She told my mom that was "not good, Nonny - then the goggie will have to sit on my head, and he's too fat!".

[kajunchick]

I got a marriage proposal tonight. My 4 year old son said in the sweetest voice, "Mom, when I get bigger and you get bigger, can we get married?" Totally made my day!

[*new*mommyagain36]

My almost 2 year old likes to sing "Tinkle Tinkle.....(pause).... Star"  That's the one 3 words of the song she sings but she belts it out with gusto!

Jones - "hannitizer" - LOVE it!  Hilarious!   

[Cutenoob]

I think Picklehead was created because Baby Noob likes pickles. And I called him a Sillyhead, and a Picklehead. He said "no no no Mommy Picklehead". He then said "Me Milkhead! <his name> Milkhead!"
So I asked him, is my name Mommy Picklehead? He said "Yes, Mommy Picklehead"

A few days later Baby Noob's dad said, "I think I got my first insult from him. He called me a picklehead." I busted up laughing. But now I've taught Baby Noob that Daddy is a Metalhead. So our names are Mommy Picklehead, Babynoob Milkhead, Daddy Metalhead. And sometimes I tell Baby that "that person over there is being a picklehead"

I found this dog costume and busted up laughing.
https://www.dropbox.com/s/r7li8scwvzkdtvr/Pickledog.jpg

[kherbert05]

"I'm going to tell my Mommy on you"
Yesterday one of my students, screamed that because I wouldn't let her go to the bathroom. Her best friend had just left the room. They have been told  they aren't allowed to leave the room at the same time because they disappeared for 15 minutes and were hiding in the outside bathrooms. (School built in the 1960's around a garden)


Same child was "walking" in the line that never ends* , by dancing and gyrating instead you know just walking. This is a big deal - last year almost 100% of our discipline referrals came from pushing/shoving in line erupting into fights. We are working at teaching the kids personal space (We have kids that live in crowded
situations and they will line up so close to other kids they are mushed together). Another 2nd grade teacher told her to walk correctly - she said the same thing.


I called Mom who responded, "Oh No she Didn't. She knows better than that. I'll take care of her when she gets home tonight. You will see a different child, Monday morning". (I suspect the only reason Mom didn't show up at my door to handle the situation is school was out in 90 min. )


*[size=78%](When the front of the line is at the gym bathrooms - the back of the line is out the door, past 3rd grade pod, around the garden and out on the playground - another teacher timed us it took 3 minute for our line to pass)[/size]

[Piratelvr1121]

Elfmama, That explains it! They fed "B" to the orcses

My 7 month old DD got her eldest brother (10) yesterday. Both were lying on the floor and he looked at me and asked "Mom why are babies so dumb? They never do anything". Apparently DD took exception to this. She promptly rolled over, sqooshed her bum against his face, and then farted and filled her diaper.

Once I stopped laughing so hard, I told him that she had made her opinion known and now he gets to change her.

DS was not pleased. That's my girl.     

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my, that's hilarious!!!!!!!  MiddlePirate once made some sort of smart aleck remark once and DH told him "Well you can change PirateBabe the next time he needs one" So naturally it was a dirty one and DH called out "MiddlePirate'sName, Piratebabe made a present for you!" 

In comes MiddlePirate, who looks at the baby and says "PirateBabe, it's not my birthday!" (Middle Pirate is 10)

[Piratelvr1121]

On Saturday we were driving down to DH's work (at the moment it's almost a 2 hr drive, in a few weeks he'll get his own territory and start working in Northern Virginia) and on the way down we were listening to 106.9 The Eagle, a classic rock station.

Well the dj who was starting his show around 10 plays a recording of his son saying "You wlistening to 106.9 Pwastic (classic) rock!" It was rather cute.

[Outdoor Girl]

Years ago, there was a local radio station who had some local artists playing and singing Christmas carols that were recorded and replayed on the radio.  This one particular artist brought his 3 yr old son with them and they were singing 'Frosty the Snowman'.  You could very clearly hear, 'Frumpity Frump Frump' from the 3 yr old.  It was hysterical.

[Elisabunny]

My 6-year-old DD has been playing Stupid Zombies on the Kindle.  So now she's squealing, "The dead bats are SOOOO cute!"

[Slartibartfast]

While searching for something non-mind-numbing to watch with Babybartfast (age 4) today, I stumbled across the Avengers cartoon on Netflix.  She's watching quietly, absorbing the story, then announces "Look mom!  He [Iron Man] has BREASTS!"

Yeah, his costume in the cartoon does have pretty clearly defined pectorals, but everything Babybartfast knows about breasts she learned from me feeding Bittybartfast, so . . .

[Bluenomi]

While searching for something non-mind-numbing to watch with Babybartfast (age 4) today, I stumbled across the Avengers cartoon on Netflix.  She's watching quietly, absorbing the story, then announces "Look mom!  He [Iron Man] has BREASTS!"

Yeah, his costume in the cartoon does have pretty clearly defined pectorals, but everything Babybartfast knows about breasts she learned from me feeding Bittybartfast, so . . .

DD got to milk a cow when we were visiting a farm recently and was a bit reluctant until she was told the udder was the cow's boobies. Now she tells everyone she got to milk the cow's boobies 

[kajunchick]

Last night my SIL and I were visiting and my DS4 walks up with a laser gun and starts "shooting" us. My SIL said, "DS4, you don't shoot people, you shoot birds. Or deer."

Without missing a beat, he turns to me and says, "Momma, pretend you a deer."