Kids say the funniest things

[Piratelvr1121]

LOL!!! That is hilarious! And very sweet!

And Slarti, your girls are beautiful!

[esteban]

My ODD (7) had a minor ear infection this weekend, and spent Monday home from school.  Tuesday she got home, opene the door and walked in.  She looked up at us looking a bit worse for wear (I don't think she was feeling 100% yet) and said "I need a drink" in a way that sounded exactly like a middle aged woman home from a hard day of work.

Mrs. Deadbody and I cracked up, and she looked at us like we were crazy.  "My throat is sore and I need some water" she explained unprompted.

[RebeccainGA]

My niece is with us for a day or so, and she arrived chatting like a magpie. She was telling us about something to do with an (imaginary, I assume, since no one has mentioned any new pets) new kitten, and out of the blue announces "I want to go to a Japanese steak house for dinner so they can cook in front of us!" As far as anyone (mom, grandparents, etc. - basically the three adults that are her combined 100% caregivers) can say, she's never been to one, and never seen one on TV.

The child scares us all sometimes.

[mmswm]

My 13yo, in the tone of a mad, evil scientist bent on taking over the world, while the small dogs were following him around the house...

"Come, my army of tiny dogs!"

[Elisabunny]

A few years ago, we were transferring some dry grass to the barn to suppliment the goats' feed.  YS (probably about 10 at the time) while carrying his pitchfork said, "Look!  I'm an angry mob!"

[Bexx27]

From DD today: "When I grow up I'm gonna be a fireman, a policeman, a alligator, or a mommy."

It's good to have goals.

[Mental Magpie]

A few years ago, we were transferring some dry grass to the barn to suppliment the goats' feed.  YS (probably about 10 at the time) while carrying his pitchfork said, "Look!  I'm an angry mob!"

Haha! How clever!

[kherbert05]

Potty-training is not going well at our house. My son knows all the mechanics, but nothing is working to get him to keep his pants dry. After changing yet another pair of dirty pants today, I asked him, "what is it going to take to get you to keep your underpants dry?"

He looked at me solemnly and answered, "a long time."

For my nephew 3 at the time it was skiing lessons. He wanted to ski with his sister and cousins - but no ski lessons if you aren't potty trained.

[Tashigi]

*Names changed for politeness

I was over at a classmate's house when an evening's cocktail hour was winding down and it was bedtime for his four children. I have to note that I'm not well-acquainted with his children and I'm not very, er, comfortable around children, period. Two other people who were regular guests at the house were still around and we were nursing one last call night caps and chatting about random things.

Then, from the top of the stairs, I hear his oldest daughter say to her siblings, "Tashigi is the one who isn't Mike or Stella. Tashigi's the other one."

I couldn't help it. I cackled hysterically and it took me a good few moments to collect myself.

[Piratelvr1121]

LOL!

That reminds me of the first time my bff stayed with us.  I should note that while she never had kids of her own (on purpose) she definitely has a way with them, a bit like either Mary Poppins, Nanny McPhee or Supernanny.  She's very good at making herself heard and getting kids to listen to her, sometimes just with the right tone of voice.  She can be loud too.   My older two liked her and honestly listened to her more than they tended to listen to me at the time.

Anyway, one night we sent them up to bed at their usual bed time and tucked them in but we could hear the second child still running his mouth and playing around, clearly NOT in his bed.  DH barked up the stairs "Pirateboy2, GO TO BED!!!" Cue scurrying of feet and the sound of him getting in bed. I went up to make sure he was in bed and he said "Mom, was that dad or Auntie?" LOL!

I told DH and bff that when I came down and they both laughed.

[Mental Magpie]

Ten year old niece about my dogs, "They're just so cute I can't stand it!"  Note, this is about the millionth time she's seen them.

[CakeBeret]

DS (almost 3) and I were out and about when he spotted a heavily bearded man. Cue an excited shout of, "Mommy! Is that JESUS?!" I hastily shushed him while trying not to bust out laughing.

He also likes to use the phrase "Oh my gracious", except that he can't pronounce gracious. It always comes out "Squay-shussss" and it cracks me up when he uses it.

[mmswm]

My 10 year old son and my 10 year  old brother, talking about who would be what Angry Birds character if everybody in their lives were Angry Birds:

<Older Brother> would have to be king pig because he's just mean.

It really was everything I could do to keep from laughing.

[booklover03]

My 13yo, in the tone of a mad, evil scientist bent on taking over the world, while the small dogs were following him around the house...

"Come, my army of tiny dogs!"

Hahahaha! I just love this! I needed a laugh and this really did it, lol.

[AfleetAlex]

A few years ago, we were transferring some dry grass to the barn to suppliment the goats' feed.  YS (probably about 10 at the time) while carrying his pitchfork said, "Look!  I'm an angry mob!"

I'm practically in tears laughing at my desk! Thanks, I needed that on a snowy Friday.