Kids say the funniest things

[lilfox]

DD (3) was fascinated at Thanksgiving and again at Christmas with all the toasts at dinner.  So she wanted to learn how to give a toast (after we explained that it's called that and sometimes bread is called that, but you don't propose "bread").  We told her first you lift your glass and say "I propose a toast" and then something complimentary, something you like or appreciate.  Then clink and drink.

Here is a typical DD toast:

DD (lifting her cup): I propose a toast!
DH and I lift our cups and wait...
DD (thinking hard and scanning the table):  I like ... carrots!

We usually cut her off at three toasts, or we'd never get to eat.

[MrsJWine]

Hahah! I actually just laughed out loud.

[Piratelvr1121]

I made chocolate chocolate chip cookies today with Irish cream creamer.  Offered one to middle child who says "I don't like chocolate cookies." Guess what he ate when we came home from choir practice? The Tagalongs someone sent home with us.  Yeah, chocolate cookies with peanut butter filling.

[baglady]

My niece's husband had to go out of town last week and she asked me to spend the week with her (I live several hours away) and take her kids to preschool and pick them up.  In between I could do whatever.  Her DH came home Thursday evening and after dinner I had the following conversation with her 4yo.

DD - pwv are you going to grandma's house now?
me - no, I'm going tomorrow
DD - well, daddy's home now, so you can go tonight, we don't need you anymore.

My grandmother used to love to tell on one of my cousins, who would greet her when she visited with a big, bright, "HI, Grammie! When you goin' home?"

Of course, what she meant was "How long are we going to have the pleasure of your company?" Her version was just more efficient syllable-wise -- if less tactful. 

[Mental Magpie]

I made chocolate chocolate chip cookies today with Irish cream creamer.  Offered one to middle child who says "I don't like chocolate cookies." Guess what he ate when we came home from choir practice? The Tagalongs someone sent home with us.  Yeah, chocolate cookies with peanut butter filling.

I hope he grows out of it or he may wind up engaged to a woman who is driven nuts by that behavior.  I seriously don't know whether the Eagle likes mac and cheese or not, as it changes depending on his mood.  I have started to call him out on it, though, and it's helping.

[Slartibartfast]

Babybartfast's swim lesson was canceled yesterday due to a thunderstorm.  Since we were the only ones who showed up, her teacher pulled out some safety equipment (inflatable raft, life jackets, etc.) and did a little indoor class on water safety.  She was explaining about always wearing life jackets, not going out on the water in thunderstorms, not running when around bodies of water, etc.  After a nice little talk about how to be safe on a boat and leading up to "stay near your adult," she asked Babybartfast "Can you think of anything else that's dangerous?"  Babybartfast thought for a moment and answered "Dinosaurs!"

[Piratelvr1121]

I made chocolate chocolate chip cookies today with Irish cream creamer.  Offered one to middle child who says "I don't like chocolate cookies." Guess what he ate when we came home from choir practice? The Tagalongs someone sent home with us.  Yeah, chocolate cookies with peanut butter filling.

I hope he grows out of it or he may wind up engaged to a woman who is driven nuts by that behavior.  I seriously don't know whether the Eagle likes mac and cheese or not, as it changes depending on his mood.  I have started to call him out on it, though, and it's helping.

Me too. 

[Dr. F.]

Babybartfast's swim lesson was canceled yesterday due to a thunderstorm.  Since we were the only ones who showed up, her teacher pulled out some safety equipment (inflatable raft, life jackets, etc.) and did a little indoor class on water safety.  She was explaining about always wearing life jackets, not going out on the water in thunderstorms, not running when around bodies of water, etc.  After a nice little talk about how to be safe on a boat and leading up to "stay near your adult," she asked Babybartfast "Can you think of anything else that's dangerous?"  Babybartfast thought for a moment and answered "Dinosaurs!"

*dies of cuteness!*

[White Dragon]

Babybartfast's swim lesson was canceled yesterday due to a thunderstorm.  Since we were the only ones who showed up, her teacher pulled out some safety equipment (inflatable raft, life jackets, etc.) and did a little indoor class on water safety.  She was explaining about always wearing life jackets, not going out on the water in thunderstorms, not running when around bodies of water, etc.  After a nice little talk about how to be safe on a boat and leading up to "stay near your adult," she asked Babybartfast "Can you think of anything else that's dangerous?"  Babybartfast thought for a moment and answered "Dinosaurs!"

*dies of cuteness!*

In her defense, there were some pretty ferocious aquatic dinosaurs.
And crocodiles are often compared to dinosaurs, and they are most definitely dangerous!

[Dr. F.]

A third-hand story, from work when we were trying to get the teleconferencing system working (and thus, sitting around joking while IT worked...).

One of the people in the meeting told a story of a friend of theirs showing flashcards with numbers on them to their small child.

They got up to eleven. When dad asked kid what that card said, the child responded, very firmly, "Pause!".

[Mental Magpie]

A third-hand story, from work when we were trying to get the teleconferencing system working (and thus, sitting around joking while IT worked...).

One of the people in the meeting told a story of a friend of theirs showing flashcards with numbers on them to their small child.

They got up to eleven. When dad asked kid what that card said, the child responded, very firmly, "Pause!".

Haha!

That reminds me of something I did as a child if which I am constantly reminded. I, while learning to read, always referred to Ohio as O-H-10 because of how it was written on road signs in all caps.

[mmswm]

I can't decide if this belongs here or in "things you shouldn't laugh at", but since my kid said it...

Oldest DS was in a morphine haze last night.  Suddenly, at about 2am, he bolted upright and got really upset because he "forgot to give the turtle a bath".  We don't have, and have never had, a pet turtle.

[Piratelvr1121]

One of my cousins, when he was very little but old enough to speak (2, I think) called McDonalds E-I-E-I.

Once, when out to lunch in a restaurant, a waitress was being charmed by Pirateboy1 who was about 20-21 months old.  She said "OH you're so cute, can I take you home with me?"  Jokingly, of course.  He looked up at her, held up his hand and shook his head and said "No."  I guess you had to be there but it was pretty cute.  

Another time he was maybe a year old and we were at an Outback with some friends and every single time the manager passed by our table, this child gave her a huge dimpled grin, batted his blue eyes and just turned on every ounce of charm.  As we were paying the check and she came by, he held his arms out to her for a hug.   The child actually had an almost frightening lack of fear when it came to strangers.   My middle son as a toddler was also quite a charmer and friendly but as he got older he got a bit more shy. 

[gramma dishes]

I can't decide if this belongs here or in "things you shouldn't laugh at", but since my kid said it...

Oldest DS was in a morphine haze last night.  Suddenly, at about 2am, he bolted upright and got really upset because he "forgot to give the turtle a bath".  We don't have, and have never had, a pet turtle.

The Turtle You Never Had is a lucky turtle indeed!  I've been told by reliable sources that they're not fond of nice sudsy baths!   

[baglady]

One of my cousins, when he was very little but old enough to speak (2, I think) called McDonalds E-I-E-I.

My friend Roger had a nephew (cousin?) about that age. When his mother would tell him "Roger's coming over," he'd respond, "Turn TV on!" He heard Roger and thought "Mister Rogers."