Kids say the funniest things

[Elfmama]

Watching Lion King for the 547th time, I mentioned that Simba and Nahla were falling in love and would get married and then would make their own baby lion to complete the Circle of Life.  BabyDove (age 4.75) was indignant: "They do not make a baby lion.  The monkey brings the baby lion."  Fast forward about half an hour to the final scene where, sure enough, the baby lion is presented by "the monkey."  BabyDove turns to me triumphantly: "SEE?   THE MONKEY BRINGS THE BABY LION."

Well, of course!  There aren't any doctors, so the monkey HAS to bring the baby lion! 

[Elfmama]

My two grandsons, ages 7 and 8, have just recently gotten into archery.  Now they're arguing over who was the best archer of all time, Robin Hood or Apollo. 

I'm impressed most of my students only have the dimmest idea who Robin Hood is and wouldn't know Apollo at all

Hee!  There's a number of reasons.  We're all members of the SCA; DH does archery, and hosts the barony's weekly archery meet, so Robin Hood is really familiar to them.  Apollo is less so, but there may be two factors here.  1)We're more-or-less a pagan family*, although the Greek pantheon is not our path.  More likely, 2) they've been listening to the audiobook  of Rick Riordan's The Lightning Thief.   I'm assuming that Apollo is one of the characters.

*with the exception of DH, who is Roman Catholic.

[Slartibartfast]

Babybartfast finished a week-long summer class today.  She's in a phase where she tells everyone "I love you!" when she's saying goodbye - and she was saying it to everyone.  Her teacher, her new friends, the lady who runs the program, etc.

Me: "You sure love a lot of people!"

Her: "I love everybody!"

Me: "Oh?"

Her: (with the best reflective look a not-quite-five-year-old can muster) "I guess that means I'm a lot like God."

[Nikko-chan]

Oh my goodness Slartibartfast that is so cute!

[Piratelvr1121]

So piratebabe was baptized about a month ago, which in our church means he can take communion, something he's already very into from having watched the rest of us take part in for a while.  (he's 19 months now).  Okay so how it's done in our church is we go up to the communion rail and wait until the priest either places the host on your tongue or palm, whichever you prefer.  Then someone comes by with the chalice of wine and you can either sip it or dip the wafer in it. 

Today when we went up, middle pirate knelt at my right side, piratebabe was in front of me and oldest pirate on my left.  So in order there was middle pirate's hand, mine and babe's but since babe's hand was over mine in his eagerness to get the host, our priest gave him the host first.  But then it was as though he realized he took his out of order because he put the host in my hand and then reached out his hand for his own. 

Our priest kind of chuckled, shrugged and moved back to the other side of the rail, since we were at the end. 

So not so much something he said but it did make me chuckle that he seemed to realize on his own he'd gotten his out of turn (though at his age it's not really a big deal) and fixed it by giving me his and then taking another for himself.

[crella]

Too cute!

[twiggy]

DH and 4yo DS were reading Scripture stories last night. More specifically, about Joseph, his coat of many colors, and how his brothers sold him into slavery in Egypt. They were discussing things as they went and when they were done, DH asked DS what he learned.

DS: "well, if it's a famine, there's no food. But if there was no food, then why didn't they just go to the grocery store?"
     "It wasn't very nice to sell Joseph. I wouldn't sell Baby, I would just take it away if I wanted his things."
     "If someone selled me, I would just not give them food. I would kick him instead and say 'oh no. Now you have no food. Ha ha ha ha ha. I'm just kidding. You can have some yucky food""

[Elisabunny]

Youngest DD (almost 7) had her eye appointment yesterday.  Because of family history, I was pretty sure she would need glasses.

So, while we were waiting, I took her back to look at frames.  The whole time she complained that she didn't want glasses. Until she saw the pink frames with butterflies on the temple pieces.

Then when I was paying, she said, "I always wanted to wear glasses!"   

[MommyPenguin]

I love these stories!

The other day, Emily (6) and Jenny (4) were talking.  Jenny said, with this dramatic sigh, "I wish I lived in Bible times!"
Emily: "Oh, no, you don't.  There weren't any cars!  Or baths!  Or books to read!  Or <rattles off a whole list of things, MOST of which weren't available back then>!"
Jenny: "Oh.  Okay.  I guess I'll just go to Disneyworld, then."

[wonderfullyanonymous]

I was working the self checks on Saturday, when I had a mom and adorable little boy he was 3ish or so come through. Little boy, being a little boy, mortified his mom, but all I could do was laugh.

LB to me: Do you have a baby in your tummy?

Mom: LB you  can't say things like that they aren't nice
        then to me "I'm really sorry"

Me: No baby, I'm just round. It's okay mom, no harm done.

LB takes his umbrella and points to my chest: What is that?

Me: It's a" then to mom: are technical terms okay?
 
Mom: Yes"  then to LB "you can't ask people things like that"

Me again: It's called a breast.

Mom was little, and I am the exact opposite of little, plus mom has a friend who is pregnant, so I guess I resembled her friend. Mom was apologetic. I told her not to worry about it, and thanked her for being so open with him. I told her it would make his questions easier to answer as he got older.

[cwm]

Sis brought Niece to my workplace today for reasons. Sis and mom and Sproglet and I all went out to lunch. Mom dropped the rest of us off at the front door (she parks around back). I was getting Sproglet out of the car, and we were trying to get her to tell mom bye bye. She used to be really good at it, now, not so much. So as soon as I had her out of the carseat and closed the door to the car, she turned and said "Bye bye gwamma."

Apparently she's associated bye bye with leaving, so now she says it to people only AFTER they leave.

[Piratelvr1121]

So the 4 of us went on an errand to Target this morning to get some cleaning supplies as Mondays are our cleaning days.  On the way home the song "War" came on the radio, the one that goes "War! Huh! What is it good for, absolutely nothing!"

Well since the Piratebabe's just barely 20 months old, his carseat's still facing backwards and I started hearing hysterical laughter from my older two and had to ask what was so funny.  Apparently the babe was lip syncing to the song perfectly for never having heard it before. 

[Piratelvr1121]

Okay here's one my youngest one actually said rather than just did.

BG: My middle son is very bad about interrupting people.  We're working on trying to break him of this habit, but it's slow going.  He's 10, by the way, and also quite a know it all.   Also very impatient and he does have ADD but we don't really even talk about it very much in our house because we don't want him to learn to use it as an excuse for his behavior.

Anyway, so today I was telling them that they couldn't go to the pool with a friend today because they had not done their chores without constant reminders and middle son especially I had to get after to stop playing and every time I told him to do some work, he'd whine.  I'd warned them at the start of the summer that if they show disrespect they're not going to the pool that week.

So this conversation ensues.
Me: Now, if you want a chance to go to the pool, I might offer you the chance-
Pirate2: What if we clean up the house now, can we go?
Me: If you hadn't interrupted you would have heard me say I'd offer you the chance to go later this week, but-
Pirate2: So we can go?
Me: No, and if you would stop being rude and interrupting me, you'd hear what I was going to say!!

That is when Piratebabe started to lose his temper and yelled at his big brother.  We couldn't understand much of what he was saying other than "NONONONO!!  Stop it!!"  He went over to the old fashioned trunk we use as a coffee table and pounded on it with his little fists while saying to his brother "WUDE! WUDE! WUDE!!!!!!!!!" with each fist pound.   Then there was more yelling with fists at his sides, more fist pounding, and he even got mad at me because I wasn't doing a very good job at hiding my giggling, I admit.

But then he calmed down and gave both his brother and I hugs at the end of his tantrum. 

[Bluenomi]

I recently potty-trained my son, who will be 3 in July.  Whenever he goes in his potty, he'll say "Hooray for pee-pee" or "Hooray for poo-poo" depending on what he did that time.  He also throws his arms up in the arm while cheering for pee-pee or poo-poo!  I find it hilarious.

DD demands high 5s when on the toilet. And not just one, you have to do the whole high five, on the side, up high, down low' routine.

[MayHug]

My sister was recently at an auction. As she was looking through things she came across an old style dial up house phone. There was a girl next to her who was around 10-11 yrs old. My sister was explaining to her what it was and how to use it. The girl got a very puzzled expression on her face and said " But how do you text on it?" :-)