Kids say the funniest things

[cwm]

New one from the Sproglet. Sis is trying to teach her body parts. She can reliably identify nose, ears, teeth, toes, and eyes. We're working on knees and elbows.

Sis grabbed her hand yesterday and said "Sproglet, what's this called?"
Sproglet, in appropriate Sproglet fashion, "High five!"

[lilfox]

Well, I just wrote yesterday in the "it's not like it's work" thread that no one demands I craft for them when this happened:

I had a very late night last night and intended to sleep in, but heard my DD start wailing about something as DH was getting her ready for preschool.  So, I got out of bed to see what was happening.  It was minor (she's going through a sensitive stage), and as they were about to head out, I mentioned I'd be going back to bed.  Immediately, DD says, "No, you can't!  You woke up so you have to start your day.". I said I still needed to sleep and she said "no, you should stay awake and paint me something!"

Sure kid, I'll get right on that.   . 

[twiggy]

Tonight 4yo DS was saying his prayers, which are typically adorable all by themselves. Tonight's prayer was a bit worrying for me though. He said "and thank you God that Mommy can have a new little baby"

Ummm, I sure hope he doesn't know something I don't!

[Slartibartfast]

Tonight 4yo DS was saying his prayers, which are typically adorable all by themselves. Tonight's prayer was a bit worrying for me though. He said "and thank you God that Mommy can have a new little baby"

Ummm, I sure hope he doesn't know something I don't!

Babybartfast made a craft project in VBS - a clay heart on a paper plate.  She was supposed to say something she loved on there, so in the teacher's neat (and squished) handwriting underneath it was "I love God and mommy and [Bittybartfast] and that people can make more babies."

Me: "That's beautiful, Babybartfast!  What about daddy, though?"
BBF: "Oh, I wanted to put daddy on there, but the teacher said she didn't have any more room."
Me: 

[kherbert05]

This was a hilarious set of phone calls I had to make at the end of the year.


3 boys good friends all mixed race backgrounds 2 look African American the other is a towhead with fair skin and blue eyes.  In complete innocence they started calling themselves the Oreo triplets. I called their parents - who all burst out laughing but agreed that because of the racist way the term Oreo is used especially in the apartments were 2 of them live that they had to be gently told not use that term. Thankfully they took to the Three Musketeers right off. 

[wonderfullyanonymous]

The previous story reminded me of a story a coworker told me about her own sons.

Her husband was in the service, I don't remember which branch, so they moved a lot when the kids were young. This happened mid 70's I believe. Her kids had befriended a young man who was around their age, and African American. This particular day, my coworker and the AA boys mom were visiting each other. The 3 boys ran into the house and into the bathroom. The moms followed them, because 3 boys in the bathroom at the same time can only be disasterous.

What they saw was all the boys scrubbing the arms of the one with darker skin. My CW asks what they are doing.

Her sons say they are trying to scrub the darker skinned boy so he is lighter. My CW was mortified, but the AA mother started laughing, which helped the situation a whole lot.

There was then a discussion, involving all 3 boys about the differences of people.

[cwm]

Sproglet didn't SAY anything funny today, but that kid is too smart for her own good.

18 months old and she knows the PS3 controller controls the TV. We usually let her watch My Little Ponies or Justice League on Netflix. She knows when the screen asks if you're still watching the show to bring the controller to an adult so they can get it going again.

Today the screen went to that, and it was that way for a bit while she played. I was getting her ready to go to the park, and then checking on sis (who has a stomach bug, ick) and when I came back out to get Sproglet's shoes on, Avengers was on. Kid had taken the controller and found it on Netflix. I couldn't even be mad, because that's one of sis's favorite movies. I didn't even know it was on Netflix yet.

Yeah, Sproglet is my hero now.

[CakeBeret]

Yesterday I was at my mom's house, and Son, age 3, was home with his dad.

My mom's phone rang and she answered it. It was Son, who immediately launched into a litany of "I can't find my journey! Where's my journey, Gramma? I need my journey."

After she stopped laughing, Mom handed the phone to me, telling me that she had no idea what Son was asking for. I talked to Son and he kept going on about finding his journey.

Finally I got him to put Mr Cake on the line, who laughingly explained that son is looking for his soccer jersey.

[MommyPenguin]

My dad was explaining Locks of Love to my girls for some reason, and Jenny, the 4-year-old, asked him if he was going to donate his hair.  While he was trying to think of an answer (he's gray and very balding), Emily, the 6-year-old, said, "It looks like you already donated yours, Grandpap!"

[baglady]

Bagman loves to tell this story on his younger daughter (now 28). She used to wear a pacifier on a ribbon. One day at daycare, a new teacher commented, "Oh, I see you have your binky with you!"

She: "It's NOT a binky. It's. A. Pacifier!"

Flash forward to today. Bagman's granddaughter (older daughter's child, age 3) got her hands on my pennywhistle. A friend of ours who also plays one refers to her pennywhistle as a "squeaky stick."

Me: "Oh, I see you've found my squeaky stick!"
Granddaughter: "It's not a squeaky stick. It's a whistle!"

[CakeBeret]

I have to share a cute story from my son. He's out of town and I miss him terribly

Sometimes Son comes in to sleep with DH and I at night. One night, he was asleep in our bed when he woke up and said he had to go get Fred, his favorite lovie. He came back with an armful of stuffed animals. As he climbed into bed, he handed me one and said, "Here Mama, I brought Bunny for you." I then hear him shake my husband awake saying, "Here Daddy, I brought you a bear." He then curled up with Fred and fell right back asleep. I almost died right there from cuteness overload.

[Dazi]

Random grocery store event:

A little boy, probably in the area of 3 or 4, walked up to me and announced my breasts were larger than his mommy's and I was pretty, turned and walked back to his grandmother.  Poor woman looked mortified, apologised and told me that he was at that age were he was fascinated by body parts.


I kind of thought it was hysterical.

[Seraphia]

I was playing school with my younger niece (5) yesterday, and we were discussing what classes the school could have. I suggested science class. Niece looked at me, thinking hard, then said, in all seriousness: "But scientists aren't real!"

 

After I stifled my laughter, I did tell her that there are, in fact, lots of scientists, including a bunch of my girlfriends, and we talked about their jobs.

[Outdoor Girl]

Random grocery store event:

A little boy, probably in the area of 3 or 4, walked up to me and announced my breasts were larger than his mommy's and I was pretty, turned and walked back to his grandmother.  Poor woman looked mortified, apologised and told me that he was at that age were he was fascinated by body parts.


I kind of thought it was hysterical.

What woman doesn't appreciate being told that she looks pretty and has a nice rack?   

[wonderfullyanonymous]

Random grocery store event:

A little boy, probably in the area of 3 or 4, walked up to me and announced my breasts were larger than his mommy's and I was pretty, turned and walked back to his grandmother.  Poor woman looked mortified, apologised and told me that he was at that age were he was fascinated by body parts.


I kind of thought it was hysterical.

What woman doesn't appreciate being told that she looks pretty and has a nice rack?   

I have a nice rack, and I am also round, and working in a grocery store, I get this occasioinally, but nothing will mortify a parent more than if a child asks a "round" lady if she is going to have a baby.