Author Topic: Kids say the funniest things  (Read 195469 times)

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violinp

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #885 on: July 21, 2013, 03:18:23 PM »
he's on a tear this week. Two days ago he came up and asked me "Mom, do you remember the table in the playroom that used to be brown?" Ummmm, what do you mean used to be? "Well, I just got the spray paint ( :o) and now it's red. Do you want to see?" In the process he also got the puppy. So both of the boy puppies have spots, but only one is natural ::) Later I caught DS under the table with a sponge and the puppy trying the scrub the paint out of his coat.

I honestly don't know what I'm going to do with this child. He also dumped most of a bottle of bubble bath on his sister's head because he "couldn't do it on [his] head because [he] would get soap in [his] eyes and that burns!"

Are you sure we're not related?  I could tell dozens of similar stories about my middle son.  The other two are pretty typical boys, but the middle one is just flat out crazy.  He'll try anything once.  Sometimes more than once.  He's the one I had to rescue off the roof of the house when he was 2.  It just got worse from there.

My dad at age 3 believed that a blanket tied around his neck made him Mighty Mouse, and that he could actually fly off the roof. Imagine his great surprise when he fell all the way down the sloped driveway.  :o He was lucky he was only bruised and scraped badly.
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Layla Miller

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #886 on: July 21, 2013, 04:29:01 PM »
After reading these:

My brother rode the vacuum cleaner down the stairs.  Fortunately, it was a split level house so it was only a half flight, but still.

Twiggy, your boy reminds me of a 3 year old at our church.  From what I've been told, this kid managed to ride a trike down the 4 stairs of the hall's stage and remain relatively unscathed, painted walls with shampoo, among other things.

It's a good thing his mom has a wonderful sense of humor!

he's on a tear this week. Two days ago he came up and asked me "Mom, do you remember the table in the playroom that used to be brown?" Ummmm, what do you mean used to be? "Well, I just got the spray paint ( :o) and now it's red. Do you want to see?" In the process he also got the puppy. So both of the boy puppies have spots, but only one is natural ::) Later I caught DS under the table with a sponge and the puppy trying the scrub the paint out of his coat.

I honestly don't know what I'm going to do with this child. He also dumped most of a bottle of bubble bath on his sister's head because he "couldn't do it on [his] head because [he] would get soap in [his] eyes and that burns!"

I realize that they did NOT break the mold after my youngest was born, and they probably should have.

They tried!  Unfortunately, like the kids themselves, it was indestructible.  ;D
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crella

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #887 on: July 21, 2013, 06:48:50 PM »
he's on a tear this week. Two days ago he came up and asked me "Mom, do you remember the table in the playroom that used to be brown?" Ummmm, what do you mean used to be? "Well, I just got the spray paint ( :o) and now it's red. Do you want to see?" In the process he also got the puppy. So both of the boy puppies have spots, but only one is natural ::) Later I caught DS under the table with a sponge and the puppy trying the scrub the paint out of his coat.

I honestly don't know what I'm going to do with this child. He also dumped most of a bottle of bubble bath on his sister's head because he "couldn't do it on [his] head because [he] would get soap in [his] eyes and that burns!"

Are you sure we're not related?  I could tell dozens of similar stories about my middle son.  The other two are pretty typical boys, but the middle one is just flat out crazy.  He'll try anything once.  Sometimes more than once.  He's the one I had to rescue off the roof of the house when he was 2.  It just got worse from there.

My mother gave my son a Pipeworks set when he was 3. It's interlocking plastic pipes with straight pieces, joints etc. When T's kindergarten teacher came to our house for her home visit, he made a ladder, climbed up, and greeted her from the low roof over our front door.

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #888 on: July 21, 2013, 10:26:07 PM »
I remember when I was a kid having Thanksgiving dinners at Grandma and Grandpa's, there were rides on mattresses down the stairs.  It was a blast! :D :D

My husband's cousin ran face first into a tree.  Just was running along, looking everywhere but where he was going and only turned his head when it was too late to change course.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

crella

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #889 on: July 22, 2013, 06:38:25 AM »
I have to say I've been giggling off and on all day about the ironing board with handlebars... :D

Dazi

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #890 on: July 22, 2013, 07:11:55 AM »
he's on a tear this week. Two days ago he came up and asked me "Mom, do you remember the table in the playroom that used to be brown?" Ummmm, what do you mean used to be? "Well, I just got the spray paint ( :o) and now it's red. Do you want to see?" In the process he also got the puppy. So both of the boy puppies have spots, but only one is natural ::) Later I caught DS under the table with a sponge and the puppy trying the scrub the paint out of his coat.

I honestly don't know what I'm going to do with this child. He also dumped most of a bottle of bubble bath on his sister's head because he "couldn't do it on [his] head because [he] would get soap in [his] eyes and that burns!"

Are you sure we're not related?  I could tell dozens of similar stories about my middle son.  The other two are pretty typical boys, but the middle one is just flat out crazy.  He'll try anything once.  Sometimes more than once.  He's the one I had to rescue off the roof of the house when he was 2.  It just got worse from there.

My dad at age 3 believed that a blanket tied around his neck made him Mighty Mouse, and that he could actually fly off the roof. Imagine his great surprise when he fell all the way down the sloped driveway.  :o He was lucky he was only bruised and scraped badly.

An old friend of mine did something similar, but he thought he was Superman, jumped off a balcony and landed in a rose bush.
Meditate. Live purely. Quiet the mind. Do your work with mastery. Like the moon, come out from behind the clouds! Shine. ---Gautama Buddah





Outdoor Girl

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #891 on: July 28, 2013, 03:13:58 PM »
The other day on the radio, they had parents phoning in, telling about things their children had said that embarrassed them.

I live in an area that is not very ethnically diverse.  Those in the area of other than European descent are few and far between.

One lady phoned in and was talking about her son when he was about 6.  She had taught him that people are people and that it doesn't matter what they look like.  So one day, he saw a black woman and walked up to her and said, 'You have a great tan!'.  The woman calling in said she was just about ready to fall through the floor when the other woman smiled and said, 'Thanks!  You have a good tan, too.'
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Hollanda

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #892 on: July 30, 2013, 04:55:42 PM »
Ha. Mine has literally just started talking and already cracks us up laughing.


My knees crack when I kneel. It sounds alarming but not painful. DS last night pointed as I knelt and my knees let out a huge CRAAACK. He said "ow!" His little eyebrows were furrowed in confusion. I said "Yes, that's Mummy's knees." He said "Knees. Ow!" I asked him where his knees are. He pointed, knelt and said "Knees. No ow." He actually looked disappointed with the fact his knees don't sound like a machine gun fire every time he sits, kneels or stands.


What was mortifying was that this afternoon when we went to the shop he said "Mumma's knee. Ow!"


So now everyone knows my knees crack. Great!!  ;D 
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Piratelvr1121

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #893 on: July 30, 2013, 07:39:16 PM »
I grilled up some chicken tonight with some sun dried tomato dressing marinade and my middle child told me "You sent my tastebuds on an adventure!" :)
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Hollanda

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #894 on: July 31, 2013, 11:43:36 AM »
I grilled up some chicken tonight with some sun dried tomato dressing marinade and my middle child told me "You sent my tastebuds on an adventure!" :)

A good or bad one?
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Kimblee

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #895 on: July 31, 2013, 12:10:03 PM »


What woman doesn't appreciate being told that she looks pretty and has a nice rack?   ;D

And so much better being told that by a 3 or 4 year old than by a lecherous old coot!!    ;D

That happened to me Friday. One of my residents at work seems to *really* like my chest and butt. And isn't shy about telling me it either.   :o

Cute kid story:

A little boy in a batman cape was at my workplace yesterday (I think he is a resident's grandson?) He was racing around with his cape but would come to a slow creep every time he came close to an elderly person. One of the ladies asked him to sit her lap and started talking to him. they had this exchange:

Lady: Oh what a cute cape, are you Superman?
Him: I'm Batman ma'am... Superman wishes he was me.
Lady: Oh, i see! Well who am I?
Him: Well you've got lots of make up, so you can be the joker i guess.

She wasn't offended, thankfully. Even after having it explained. She does say there are "so many comics" these days and when her kids were young she would've KNOWN these things.

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #896 on: July 31, 2013, 12:27:05 PM »
I grilled up some chicken tonight with some sun dried tomato dressing marinade and my middle child told me "You sent my tastebuds on an adventure!" :)

A good or bad one?

A good one.  They told me I'm a good with the grill. :)
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

lilfox

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #897 on: July 31, 2013, 01:22:26 PM »
A few days ago I picked up DD from daycare/summer camp.  Her teacher came up to me and said that earlier she had asked DD what her mommy's name was (since I'm usually known just as "DD's mom").  DD puts her hand on her hip and says nonchalantly, "It's 'Peaches'."   :o   :D

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #898 on: August 02, 2013, 05:54:57 PM »
Our tomcat, Sherlock, is sitting next to me on the couch and the little one was touching (not pulling) his tail.  I patted Sherly on his hip and said "Nice kitty!"  He did the same, saying "Nice kitty, nice kitty, nice kitty!"

But then he realized I'd stopped petting the nice kitty so he stopped, pointed at me and then pointed at the cat.  Getting the message, I gave Sherly a few more strokes saying "nice kitty!" then stopped so Piratebabe could pet the kitty there. 

So we get more "nice kitty! Nice kitty, Nice kitty!" and then he does it again.   Thankfully Sherlock's a very patient boy and it wasn't till the middle child barged in the house that he moved.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

shygirl

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #899 on: August 19, 2013, 08:13:53 AM »
I was out for a walk yesterday with my 3yo son, and we heard some crickets.  My son said "Oh, crickets!"

I've never talked about crickets with him before, so I was surprised he recognized the sound.  I asked "Oh, where did you learn about crickets?"

He said solemnly to me "We don't eat crickets"

Ummm, okay?  Lol, I never did figure out where he learned about crickets.