Author Topic: Kids say the funniest things  (Read 186113 times)

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twiggy

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #915 on: September 13, 2013, 03:53:57 AM »
Sis has regular date nights with her boyfriend. He comes over, they cook dinner, and spend the evening with Sproglet. Apparently one night recently, SBF was joking around by tossing a paperback at Sis. Sproglet pointed at him and screamed "NO! 'SPECT BOOKS!"

You see, when she's throwing a tantrum and wanting to throw books or when she's wanting to draw on them, her mommy comes over and gently reprimands her, "No, honey, we respect books."

I am not allowed to mention this story in front of SBF. Apparently it's a bit embarassing to be reprimanded by a toddler for something so basic.

I love it!

I also have a fun toddler story. 2yo DD is toilet training and is not always successful in her endeavors. This morning I took DD into the bathroom and discovered she had already had an accident. She looked down in shock and exclaimed "Mom! BabyBrother put poop in my panties!" I was trying not to laugh as I explained that it wasn't Baby, it was her. She got the most serious expression on her little face and said, "No Mommy. My potty go in da toilet. All the times."
In the United States today, there is a pervasive tendency to treat children as adults, and adults as children.  The options of children are thus steadily expanded, while those of adults are progressively constricted.  The result is unruly children and childish adults.  ~Thomas Szasz

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #916 on: September 24, 2013, 07:01:32 PM »
So our male cat has rather foul smelling emissions.  Granted the girls don't smell like roses but his are pretty bad.

Today after Sherlock used the litter box I was covering my nose and said out loud "Cat, I don't know what crawled up your butt, but I will find it, and I will kill it."

My almost 11 year old said "I think someone already did..." 
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

White Dragon

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #917 on: September 24, 2013, 07:54:33 PM »
My friend's 10 year old was studying the repr*ductive system and his mom was supervising his homework.

The assignment was to "write the appropriate word in the blank".

The youngster read the instruction and declared "I can't do that! None of these words are appropriate!"

cwm

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #918 on: September 27, 2013, 12:14:59 PM »
Was just calling mom finalizing plans for this weekend. She's watching Sproglet. So she put me on speakerphone.

Me: Hi sproglet.
Sprog: [CWM!] (she has a weird nickname for me)
Me: Are you being good?
Sprog: Yeah.
Me: Good. Give mama kiss for me, okay?
Sprog: Kiss.
Mom: She kissed the phone.
Me: Okay, bye bye.
Sprog: Buh bye!

I just think it's sweet, she's starting to learn what the phone is actually for and how to use it, and she gives it a nice little kiss.

CakeBeret

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #919 on: September 27, 2013, 01:20:57 PM »
I was tucking my son in bed last night. He likes to have "eyes" (press our eyes together), "nosies" (rub noses), kisses and hugs. He gave me a hug and a kiss, and said very seriously, "Now let me think about nosies." He thought a moment and finally decided nosies would be acceptable. He then said, in the same serious tone, "Let me think about eyes." After a moment of reflection he declared "I suppose we can have eyes." It killed me!
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kajunchick

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #920 on: September 29, 2013, 08:53:53 PM »
At church, our drummer sits to the side, and he's not visible behind the piano. This morning my DS asked me who was making the "glitter" (he was talking about the cymbals).
Everybody in this family needs to just calm down and eat some fruit or something.


Slartibartfast

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #921 on: October 05, 2013, 01:21:32 PM »
"Mommy, when I grow up, I want to be just like you!"

"Aw, thanks!  How so?"

"I'll sleep a lot!"

Tierrainney

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #922 on: October 05, 2013, 11:19:54 PM »
Today youngest child (8 year old) was asking me about babies. Then she asked if I would ever have another baby. On being told, no, she replied "Aw!, Now I'll never have anyone to boss around."

Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.

Layla Miller

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #923 on: October 06, 2013, 08:39:21 AM »
We've been teaching DD (going on 14 months) sign language, and she's really starting to figure it out these days.  Yesterday she figured out that making the "milk" sign gets her milk at meals and snacktime.  At dinner last night, she asked for her milk and drank the last bit, so DH went to refill the cup.  She made the sign again while he was doing that, so I said, "Just one minute and you can have your milk back," knowing she probably didn't understand what I was saying.  To my surprise, she stopped making the sign and just looked calmly at me.

Then she started frantically making the sign with both hands.  Either she didn't understand after all, or she did but didn't care because MILK MILK MILK MILK MILK!  ;D
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Julia Mercer

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #924 on: October 07, 2013, 05:44:58 PM »
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RsS4uCRrN_Y

This video fits this category to a t!

turtleIScream

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #925 on: October 09, 2013, 10:08:16 AM »
My son and two of his friends were playing at the park yesterday, kicking around a ball. The ball rolled under a tree (a single, lone, ornamental tree that didn't obscure our view of the ball at all). One of the boys came to me, saying "oh no! The ball rolled into the woods!" Cue the next boy chiming in, "That's not the woods, silly. It's the forest."

*new*mommyagain36

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #926 on: October 09, 2013, 02:47:59 PM »
DD is almost 3 and loves small dolls, figurines, etc.  She loves grouping them as Daddy, Mommy, Baby.  She has a 4 inch tall dinosaur and a 4 inch tall mini Barbie (Happy Meal Toy) who are "Husband and Wife"
Last night she was rummageing through the toy box and found the dinosaur:
DD:  Hey!  Where's your Wife!

As an aside, the happy couple have a "son" a large plastic egg that has a dinosaur head bobbing out of it, looks like it's hatching.
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Nikko-chan

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #927 on: October 09, 2013, 10:06:38 PM »
DD is almost 3 and loves small dolls, figurines, etc.  She loves grouping them as Daddy, Mommy, Baby.  She has a 4 inch tall dinosaur and a 4 inch tall mini Barbie (Happy Meal Toy) who are "Husband and Wife"
Last night she was rummageing through the toy box and found the dinosaur:
DD:  Hey!  Where's your Wife!

As an aside, the happy couple have a "son" a large plastic egg that has a dinosaur head bobbing out of it, looks like it's hatching.

That's just too cute!

MommyPenguin

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #928 on: October 09, 2013, 10:55:48 PM »
Overheard at soccer practice:
Dad to daughter, who is on playground: "You need to tuck your shirt in if you're going to hang upside down."
Boy: "But *I* don't have to do that, right, Dad?"
Dad: "Yes, you do, too."
 Boy: "But why?"
Dad: "Because nobody wants to see your belly button!"
Boy: "I do! I want to see my belly button!"
Dad: "Then you can look at it tonight for 15 minutes while you're in the shower. Other than that, keep it covered."

Elfmama

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #929 on: October 09, 2013, 10:59:19 PM »
Overheard at soccer practice:
Dad to daughter, who is on playground: "You need to tuck your shirt in if you're going to hang upside down."
Boy: "But *I* don't have to do that, right, Dad?"
Dad: "Yes, you do, too."
 Boy: "But why?"
Dad: "Because nobody wants to see your belly button!"
Boy: "I do! I want to see my belly button!"
Dad: "Then you can look at it tonight for 15 minutes while you're in the shower. Other than that, keep it covered."
Good for Dad!  I was always very resentful that Brother got to run around without a shirt in the summer, but *I* always had to wear a shirt.  Geez, when you're 6 years old it's not like there's anything there to show off!
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