Author Topic: Kids say the funniest things  (Read 195361 times)

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Mental Magpie

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #930 on: October 11, 2013, 09:15:45 AM »
Overheard at soccer practice:
Dad to daughter, who is on playground: "You need to tuck your shirt in if you're going to hang upside down."
Boy: "But *I* don't have to do that, right, Dad?"
Dad: "Yes, you do, too."
 Boy: "But why?"
Dad: "Because nobody wants to see your belly button!"
Boy: "I do! I want to see my belly button!"
Dad: "Then you can look at it tonight for 15 minutes while you're in the shower. Other than that, keep it covered."

Bahaha!  Brilliant!
The problem with choosing the lesser of two evils is that you're still choosing evil.

CakeBeret

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #931 on: October 13, 2013, 08:21:01 PM »
Yesterday, my 3yo began asking about the birds and the bees :O I was not quite prepared for that line of questioning, but tried to give him the facts in an age-appropriate manner. When I finished my explanation, he said casually, "That sounds shady. Can I have some peanut butter?"

Also, today he was playing with our silkie chickens. I went outside to find that he had put one chicken in the baby swing and was pushing the swing. He then moved the chicken to the teeter-totter, where the bird considered staying but hopped down and ran away instead.
"From a procrastination standpoint, today has been wildly successful."

Mental Magpie

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #932 on: October 14, 2013, 09:00:15 PM »
6 year old from the back seat: What the hell, daddy?!
Me: That's a bad word, don't say that.
Her:  Oh.  What's the other one, then?  The one up there?
Me: Heaven?
Her: What the heaven, daddy?!
The problem with choosing the lesser of two evils is that you're still choosing evil.

cwm

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #933 on: October 15, 2013, 08:05:45 PM »
*phone rings, it's sis's ringtone*
Me: Hi!
Sproglet: YIA YIA!
Me: Sproglet!
Sprog: Hi yia yia!
Sis: Sprog, what do you want to say to yia yia?
Sprog: Umm...yia yia!
Sis: Do you love yia yia?
Sprog: I love you, yia yia!

Apparently she heard someone get out of a car at the apartment complex and was convinced it was me. When sis told her it wasn't me, she wanted to call me on the phone to tell me she loved me.

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #934 on: October 15, 2013, 08:21:44 PM »
My older two were just now reacting the street performance from Mr. Bean's Holiday, including the opera. Thought I was going to die laughing.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Slartibartfast

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #935 on: October 18, 2013, 09:52:53 AM »
A friend of mine has the cutest kids.  Her oldest (6) is biracial, while she and the younger two (4 and 2) are white.  The 4yo came to her last night in a big huff.

"Mommy, when do I get to turn brown?  I've been waiting and waiting!  [OldestSon] gets to be brown, and it's not fair!"

My friend had to explain that people are not like cookies - OldestSon came that way, and it wasn't something that happened when he turned four  :P

Enigmatism

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #936 on: October 18, 2013, 11:20:55 AM »
My older two were just now reacting the street performance from Mr. Bean's Holiday, including the opera. Thought I was going to die laughing.

If they liked that try this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CwzjlmBLfrQ

It's Mr Bean at the London Olympics Opening Ceremony.

padua

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #937 on: October 18, 2013, 02:53:47 PM »
apparently to my toddler, winnie the pooh is 'ninny the poop' and he comes out of your bottom.

cwm

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #938 on: October 21, 2013, 11:30:08 AM »
Mom's new dog is named Gilbert. The first time Sproglet tried to say it, it got all mangled. Before Sis came to pick up Sproglet from mom, mom had to call her and let her know that Sprog wasn't saying "F*** it."

It now sounds more like "bucket" when she's not paying attention closely, but when she thinks about it, she can say "Bilgert".

Fulton, our other dog, is "Pulton puppy."

twiggy

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #939 on: October 21, 2013, 12:14:56 PM »
I've been sorting baby clothes lately trying to decide if I want to keep storing several boxes of tiny baby clothes (DH and I are starting to think we may be done) and I came across 5yo DS's baby blanket. I was really excited and called him downstairs to come see it. I pulled him into my lap and explained that I had made the blanket for him before her was born and when we were at the hospital and he was born, that was the first blanket he was wrapped up in, and he used to snuggle in it when he was a tiny baby.

DS looked up at me and said, with disgust, "I came downstairs for that? Mom, that's not exciting. It's a blanket"

Then he ran back upstairs and warned his little sister "Mom's looking at baby stuff again. Better hide before she starts crying."
In the United States today, there is a pervasive tendency to treat children as adults, and adults as children.  The options of children are thus steadily expanded, while those of adults are progressively constricted.  The result is unruly children and childish adults.  ~Thomas Szasz

turtleIScream

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #940 on: October 21, 2013, 12:33:38 PM »
I've been sorting baby clothes lately trying to decide if I want to keep storing several boxes of tiny baby clothes (DH and I are starting to think we may be done) and I came across 5yo DS's baby blanket. I was really excited and called him downstairs to come see it. I pulled him into my lap and explained that I had made the blanket for him before her was born and when we were at the hospital and he was born, that was the first blanket he was wrapped up in, and he used to snuggle in it when he was a tiny baby.

DS looked up at me and said, with disgust, "I came downstairs for that? Mom, that's not exciting. It's a blanket"

Then he ran back upstairs and warned his little sister "Mom's looking at baby stuff again. Better hide before she starts crying."

Oh my goodness, this cracks me up! So funny!

twiggy

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #941 on: October 22, 2013, 05:36:27 PM »
2yo DD is currently potty training, with mixed success. Today she came up to me, visibly upset, and informed me that "Aurora got poopy all over" meaning that she soiled her Sleeping Beauty panties.

She also feels the need to run into the bathroom to cheer me on, and tells me how proud she is of me. Today she burst in on me, but I'm at the tail end of my period. She was about to congratulate me when she saw the pad in my underwear. She put her little hands on her hips and told me "Mommy, that's disgusting. Poopy goes in the potty! You a big girl Mommy, you don't need diapers"
In the United States today, there is a pervasive tendency to treat children as adults, and adults as children.  The options of children are thus steadily expanded, while those of adults are progressively constricted.  The result is unruly children and childish adults.  ~Thomas Szasz

Nikko-chan

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #942 on: October 22, 2013, 05:44:12 PM »
haha that is too funny twiggy!

Tashigi

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #943 on: October 22, 2013, 09:33:03 PM »
A friend of mine has the cutest kids.  Her oldest (6) is biracial, while she and the younger two (4 and 2) are white.  The 4yo came to her last night in a big huff.

"Mommy, when do I get to turn brown?  I've been waiting and waiting!  [OldestSon] gets to be brown, and it's not fair!"

My friend had to explain that people are not like cookies - OldestSon came that way, and it wasn't something that happened when he turned four  :P

Thank you so much for the laugh - I completely lost it at that line.

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #944 on: October 23, 2013, 07:47:13 AM »
Last night as I was getting my youngest to bed, he gave me a kiss on the cheek and then took my hand in his and made me wipe the kiss off my own cheek.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata