Author Topic: Kids say the funniest things  (Read 187163 times)

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MommyPenguin

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #975 on: November 15, 2013, 11:04:49 PM »
We were walking out of the library the other day, and since Jenny had picked out a book about a moose, the girls were jokingly saying, "I see a moose!" and pointing at various non-moose objects.  Then Jenny pointed to our blue minivan and said, "I see a blue moose!"  I added, "And we're going to ride the blue moose home!"  Emily, I should mention, rides in the back of the minivan and enters through the tailgate.  So as we approached, she wrinkled her nose.  "You mean I have to climb up the moose's butt???"

Charlotte was using a "boo-boo bear" (a soft-covered ice pack) and handed it back to me. "Mommy, can you put this away? I'm all done freezing."

Emily: "Mommy, how much money would I have if I were a librarian?" Me: "You might make about $40,000 a year." Her: "Wow, that's like $39,999 more dollars than I have."

Jenny, watching me make mac and cheese: "Mommy, do you know how Jesus makes macaroni and cheese?" Me: "How?" Jenny: "He says, "Let there be macaroni and cheese... and there is!"

Emily had a language arts assignment that required looking at a picture and then writing a sentence about the picture.  For example, for a picture of a girl diving and looking at a fish, she wrote, "Can I catch the fish?"  Well, the last picture was of 4 kids in a grocery cart, 3 of them misbehaving in some way and the last looking disgusted.  Emily's sentence?  "I have waaaay too many kids."  Yes, sometimes I feel that way, too.  :)  (But not very often.)
« Last Edit: November 18, 2013, 11:08:17 PM by MommyPenguin »

Delia DeLyons

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #976 on: November 15, 2013, 11:17:57 PM »
Ohhhhhhhh, MommyPenguin... Thank you for those gems.... Love!
Once in a while you get your delight, in the strangest of faces if you look at it right...

Elisabunny

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #977 on: November 16, 2013, 12:12:00 PM »
7-year-old DD is recovering from her bone marrow transplant (doing very well :) ) which comes with massive diarrhea.  So, pull-ups.  She's awake enough now that I suggested switching to underwear during the day.  "No, mama.  I'm a baby goat and this *points to her pullup* is my straw."   ;D
You must remember this: a ghoti is still a fish...

MommyPenguin

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #978 on: November 16, 2013, 01:03:18 PM »
That's hilarious, Elisabunny!  What a great way for her to see the humor in what otherwise could be a pretty uncomfortable/difficult situation.

Cutenoob

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #979 on: November 16, 2013, 10:14:25 PM »
My little guy is potty training right now, and hasn't figured out the poop control part. He messed his underwear, and apologized to them,  "Sorry undies!". Any time he does that, he apologizes to his underwear.

Slartibartfast

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #980 on: November 18, 2013, 04:53:47 PM »
Me: "Okay, kiddo, two hours until dinner.  Do you want to play first, or do homework first?"

Babybartfast: "HOMEWORK!"

Me: *cue double-take*

(Okay, kindergarten homework is mostly writing letters and doing connect the dots, but still!)

Jones

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #981 on: November 18, 2013, 05:03:08 PM »
It came out this weekend that DD thought fresh eggs are brown, and as they get older, or "ripen" they turn white.

I wish I could recall a more precise wording, it was both sweet and funny. And makes a bit of sense, as I always buy brown eggs at the farmer's market and white eggs at the store during "off season".

JeanFromBNA

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #982 on: November 18, 2013, 10:24:27 PM »
We were on the Walt Disney World monorail.  One of the stops is at the Ticket and Transportation Center.  I overheard a young man of, about 8 or 9 years old say to his mother, " I do too know where we're parked.  We're at the Ticket and Constipation Center."

Bexx27

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #983 on: November 20, 2013, 11:01:49 AM »
DD (age 4): What do butterflies eat?
Me: They eat nectar from flowers.
DD: No, they eat PERSONS!
Me: They eat people? Oh no, I hope a butterfly doesn't eat me!
DD: Sorry, it's happening.
How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these. -George Washington Carver

turtleIScream

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #984 on: November 20, 2013, 02:25:25 PM »
My 4 year old normally has clear speech patterns, but there are still a few words he uses his own creative pronunciations for. Today's conversation at lunch:

Son: Daddy, watch this vid-yoo.
Husband: what video?
Son: this vid-yoo. Oh, I mean vid-yohhhh.
Hiuband to me: speaking of odd pronunciations, I had to sit through a meeting, and the speaker kept talking about may-surements, and how do we may-sure this.
Son: what word is that? I don't know that word. Stop diffusing me.
Me: wait, diffusing, or confusing?
Son: Diffusing. And if you keep saying words I don't know, I'm going to have to do this! (face palms himself)

MommyPenguin

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #985 on: November 21, 2013, 12:15:35 AM »
Bexx, that's hilarious!

Turtle, my kids have some odd ones, too.  :)  I can't think of any at the moment, but confusing "confuse" with "diffuse" sounds about right.  :)  It's almost sad when they stop doing that.

twiggy

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #986 on: November 22, 2013, 01:46:42 AM »
I had an odd one with my 5yo today. We were heading to the zoo, and talking about the snacks I had packed. He was upset that I had blackberries, not strawberries and decided that he was going to eat...ears. Um, ears of corn? Nope. People ears. When I asked why he would eat ears, he got a manic gleam in his eye and said "because they're made of MEAT!" and then he gave his maniacal laugh.
In the United States today, there is a pervasive tendency to treat children as adults, and adults as children.  The options of children are thus steadily expanded, while those of adults are progressively constricted.  The result is unruly children and childish adults.  ~Thomas Szasz

wonderfullyanonymous

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #987 on: November 22, 2013, 08:03:56 AM »
I may have posted this already, but speaking of mispronpuncing things, my 3-4 y/o daughter said hopgrassers and flybutters. I corrected flybutters, but we started using hopgrassers.

My daughter's cat's name is Liger. Her daughter calls him Ligoo. We've started calling him Ligoo.

Mental Magpie

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #988 on: November 22, 2013, 08:17:23 AM »
I may have posted this already, but speaking of mispronpuncing things, my 3-4 y/o daughter said hopgrassers and flybutters. I corrected flybutters, but we started using hopgrassers.

My daughter's cat's name is Liger. Her daughter calls him Ligoo. We've started calling him Ligoo.

According to Toddler Magpie, it was callapitters because all of their feet went pitter patter.
The problem with choosing the lesser of two evils is that you're still choosing evil.

cwm

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #989 on: November 22, 2013, 09:52:57 AM »
I may have posted this already, but speaking of mispronpuncing things, my 3-4 y/o daughter said hopgrassers and flybutters. I corrected flybutters, but we started using hopgrassers.

My daughter's cat's name is Liger. Her daughter calls him Ligoo. We've started calling him Ligoo.

My dog's name is Fulton and my mom's is Gilbert. Sproglet has taken to calling them a-Pulton and Buggit. That has become their de facto names. Actually, my sweet idiot answers more to a-Pulton than she does to her own name. Buggit's still a baby, so it's half and half if he comes when called in any case.