Author Topic: Kids say the funniest things  (Read 194366 times)

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Mediancat

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1035 on: December 29, 2013, 04:13:32 PM »
I also, at one point, bought my niece Miss Margaret a stuffed opossum. She misidentified it as a lobster, and every time we said "opossum" she said "Lobster!"

My sister eventually informed me that they'd come to the compromise that the opossum was named "Lobster." Which struck everyone as fair.

Rob
« Last Edit: December 29, 2013, 07:27:59 PM by Mediancat »
"In all of mankind's history, there has never been more damage done than by someone who 'thought they were doing the right thing'." -- Lucy, Peanuts

Slartibartfast

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1036 on: December 29, 2013, 04:23:26 PM »
BBF: "Mom, will you help me make pony soup?" [said while waving her stuffed unicorn in my face]

Me: "Sure, honey!  What do ponies eat?"

BBF: "No, it's soup MADE of ponies!" *runs to retrieve her Halloween cauldron-shaped candy bucket, which is filled with all her and her sister's other horse-shaped stuffed animals*

Me: *side-eye*

DH: *trying not to laugh out loud*

Dazi

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1037 on: December 29, 2013, 09:08:47 PM »
BBF: "Mom, will you help me make pony soup?" [said while waving her stuffed unicorn in my face]

Me: "Sure, honey!  What do ponies eat?"

BBF: "No, it's soup MADE of ponies!" *runs to retrieve her Halloween cauldron-shaped candy bucket, which is filled with all her and her sister's other horse-shaped stuffed animals*

Me: *side-eye*

DH: *trying not to laugh out loud*

I think you may to get her this, so she can make herself some unicorn soup 

http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/e5a7/?itm=unicorn_meat&rkgid=279985516&cpg=ogty1&source=google_toys&creative=7871625645&adpos=1t1&device=t&network=g&matchtype=b&gclid=CPWA_LDu1rsCFSdp7Aod4h4A1w
Meditate. Live purely. Quiet the mind. Do your work with mastery. Like the moon, come out from behind the clouds! Shine. ---Gautama Buddah





cwm

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1038 on: December 30, 2013, 12:51:47 PM »
One on me, when I was 3 or so (my mother told me this when I was older.)

We'd walked to the grocery store and Mom was putting the cart away when I saw a word and wanted to impress on her how well I could read. So I chose the first word I saw on the wall and said, loudly, "Look, Mommy! F U [worst possible two letters to follow FU]! That spells [Bad word]!"

Mom told me she tried to decide whether she could just say, "Not my kid," and walk off, but figured it would be too much trouble.

Rob

That was the first word I learned how to read on my own, it was carved into the equipment at the daycare I went to. Luckily mom just acted all proud of me and told me that the word I'd learned was a word even grownups don't say (the liar...) and we'd just have to learn some new ones before we told Daddy and grandma.

Also, when I was about the same age (2-3 ish?), I had a set of blocks that I played with. I was in my bedroom minding my own business, and the door was cracked. Mom snuck up behind me and opened the door and said "Boo!" I turned to her and with my best angry voice, said "Mommy, don't do that! You scared the h*ll out of me!"

I did grow up the daughter of an auto worker, and after that incident, my mom had some words with my dad about appropriate language in front of the children.

cattlekid

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1039 on: December 30, 2013, 01:04:46 PM »
My dad uses the word "contrarian" to describe my 4-year-old niece because she will take the opposing side against you about anything just because she can. 

She was a little stubborn at the dining room table this Thanksgiving and my dad said "You are being a contrarian, aren't you?"

Niece (with perfect timing):  "No, I'm not."

*cue cattlekid dropping her fork in gales of laughter*

twiggy

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1040 on: December 30, 2013, 08:04:32 PM »
2yo DD loves Ariel. The Little Mermaid is her favorite movie (though her 5yo brother collapses into a puddle on the living room floor and wails "Noooooo, I can't watch this. I think I'm going to throw up")

DD just about lost her ever lovin mind when we went to Disneyland last week and she got to meet Ariel. It was pretty much the high point of her life.

Today was really funny though, she woke me up by asking for "Ariel kisses" which are apparently kisses on the nose. She then spent the whole morning giving Ariel kisses to her Daddy and brothers, going so far as tackling 5yo DS and sitting on him to give him his kisses. Then, to add insult to injury, she started singing the 'Ariel song,' that vocalization that Ariel does when Ursula takes her voice.

So, with his sister sitting on him, singing, DS started wailing, "I can't take it. I feel sick. No more singing." DD stopped, looked down at him and, in her most innocent voice she said, "Oh no. You sick? I make you better." Then she gave him another Ariel kiss and sang louder. When I finally pulled her off him, DD cackled and said "I get you wif Ariel. I Super Ariel. ha ha ha ha ha!"
In the United States today, there is a pervasive tendency to treat children as adults, and adults as children.  The options of children are thus steadily expanded, while those of adults are progressively constricted.  The result is unruly children and childish adults.  ~Thomas Szasz

mmswm

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1041 on: December 30, 2013, 08:24:45 PM »
My 11 year old had a morphine pump put in yesterday.  He was listening to it beep and whir and says to me "I told you I'm turning into a robot!  See, I beep now!"

I about died from laughter. As much as it pains me that he needs a morphine pump, I'm glad he's got such a good attitude about it.
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1042 on: December 30, 2013, 08:34:11 PM »
My 11 year old had a morphine pump put in yesterday.  He was listening to it beep and whir and says to me "I told you I'm turning into a robot!  See, I beep now!"

I about died from laughter. As much as it pains me that he needs a morphine pump, I'm glad he's got such a good attitude about it.

Sounds like he's a good sport! :)

Reminds me of when my little one was in the ER with croup. We'd just recently watched "Meaning of Life" by Monty Python and I couldn't help but giggle when we had a machine that went "ping" in the room.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Slartibartfast

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1043 on: December 31, 2013, 07:31:27 PM »
It's New Year's Eve, so I'm starting to see 2014 posts from people in time zones further east than we are.  Babybartfast (5) was reading my Twitter stream over my shoulder, so I ended up trying to explain time zones to her.  She was really excited to hear that some people were already in the future!!!  She hit on the great idea of finding someone who was in the future and asking them what the weather was going to be tomorrow, so we'd know whether we had to wear real shoes or whether we could wear sandals to school.   :P

crella

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1044 on: December 31, 2013, 09:25:14 PM »
Too cute!

faithlessone

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1045 on: January 02, 2014, 06:38:11 AM »
From a friend on Twitter:

The toddler is referring to anything he has to wait for as 'downloading'.

"Where tea?"
"Not ready yet."
"Is downloading?"
"YES."

What a sign of the times! ;D

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1046 on: January 02, 2014, 09:30:09 AM »
I got the feeling I've been quoting George Takei a good bit when I was looking at pictures online with the Piratebabe in my lap and he says "Oh myyy"
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Bexx27

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1047 on: January 02, 2014, 10:12:06 AM »
From a friend on Twitter:

The toddler is referring to anything he has to wait for as 'downloading'.

"Where tea?"
"Not ready yet."
"Is downloading?"
"YES."

What a sign of the times! ;D

Very cute.  :) Mine seems to think that everything in life has a pause button.
How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these. -George Washington Carver

Slartibartfast

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1048 on: January 02, 2014, 03:00:45 PM »
From a friend on Twitter:

The toddler is referring to anything he has to wait for as 'downloading'.

"Where tea?"
"Not ready yet."
"Is downloading?"
"YES."

What a sign of the times! ;D

Very cute.  :) Mine seems to think that everything in life has a pause button.

When Babybartfast does any sort of play fighting (either the jumping-around-the-house kind or the "I'm drawing a new superhero with cool magic weapons!" kind), she always gives damage values in hit points.  "Okay, my imaginary laser arrows hit your arm, so that's two hit points.  And your electric sword WOULD have hit me for six hit points, but you missed . . ."

twiggy

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1049 on: January 02, 2014, 03:19:35 PM »
The boyo has been given more chores lately. Nothing too crazy, but he can unload the cups from the dishwasher and clean most of the living room by himself. This morning he spent about 20 minutes tidying the living room just to have Baby come crashing through, Godzilla style. I had to fight not to laugh at Boyo scolding Baby "I just cleaned this room. Can't we have a nice room for 5 minutes?" then, muttering under his breath, "these kids are driving me crazy"
In the United States today, there is a pervasive tendency to treat children as adults, and adults as children.  The options of children are thus steadily expanded, while those of adults are progressively constricted.  The result is unruly children and childish adults.  ~Thomas Szasz