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  • November 24, 2017, 06:33:50 PM

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Author Topic: Kids say the funniest things  (Read 516856 times)

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Frog24

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1710 on: July 05, 2017, 05:05:37 PM »
"Get dressed honey!" I call out from my bedroom to the kids' rooms (intending the words more for the 4.5 yo than the 7yo).
"I am naked!!!" she cries, streaking into, then quickly out of my room.
"Yes, I see that... go get your clothes."
[Robot voice] "I cannot wear clothes.  I am a robot. I can only carry clothes."  She comes into my room mechanically, with her clothes in her hands. "Beep!  Beep! Boop!" She drops the clothes on my bed, still moving her hands up and down at the forearms like a robot.

Suddenly, her arms stop moving, she touches the middle of her chest and slumps down, making a "powering down" sound.

I tried to keep in the laughter to see how long she'd hold that pose, but I couldn't hold it back for more than a few seconds.

Irishkitty

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1711 on: July 14, 2017, 09:21:24 AM »
A friend told me this the other day. Her niece was interviewing her grandmother about what life was like when she was growing up. Upon being told that there was no TV and they only had a wireless (radio), her niece paused and said "but you still had your ipad, right?"
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Twik

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1712 on: July 14, 2017, 03:41:31 PM »
A friend told me this the other day. Her niece was interviewing her grandmother about what life was like when she was growing up. Upon being told that there was no TV and they only had a wireless (radio), her niece paused and said "but you still had your ipad, right?"

Well, you had the wireless to connect it to, right?  >:D
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lilfox

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1713 on: July 14, 2017, 03:47:36 PM »
In the past week I've had to field questions about various matchups between animals, superheroes, and animals vs. superheroes.  Mostly from DS (3.5 yrs) and some from DD (7.5 yrs).
For example, who wins?
Shark vs Tiger
Shark vs Lion
Lion vs Tiger

Spiderman vs Superman
Spiderman vs Batman
Spiderman vs a shark

And so forth.  I blew both kids' minds when I told them that a lion-tiger hybrid exists, called a "liger." Ligers promptly became the winner of all matchups.

Mustard

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1714 on: July 14, 2017, 04:26:59 PM »
'Mummy! Mummy! Come quick: the bees are stealing our pollen!'

Nikko-chan

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1715 on: July 14, 2017, 06:07:06 PM »
One of the children at the daycare as her mommy came to pick her up, and she was ready to leave:

Child: *impatiently* Come *on*!

Mom and I share an amused look.

Mom: Okay then.




parrot_girl

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1716 on: July 15, 2017, 10:30:34 PM »
I present: my son, 5 year old Budgie, versus the telemarketer.
Phone: *ring ring*

Budgie: "Hello, Budgie speaking."

Telemarketer, inaudible to me: "...."

Budgie: "No."
Budgie: "No! This is a house, not a shop!"
Budgie: "No you may not speak to my mother! She is busy!"*
Budgie: "GOOD BYE."

Disgusted Budgie, to me: "That was so silly! She wanted to buy solar petals! There is no such thing! SO silly!"

He is now in charge of answering the phone, because I am SO DARN SICK of the solar panel telemarketers that have been infesting our area of late. :)
* I was indeed busy, stickytaping yards of paper and cardboard and an empty Milo tin together to make a Hot Wheels track for him. No way was he handing the phone over.

katiescarlett

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1717 on: July 18, 2017, 12:24:15 PM »
I have an 8 year old nephew, Wade, who stays with me a lot. The other day, I heard him threatening one of his toys, that if they fought, he would beat him like "Donkey Kong." He loves the Walking Dead as much as I do, and always wants to pretend that one of us is a zombie and the other is fighting the zombie, and I tell him that it is on like Donkey Kong. I also told him that kids have to respect their elders and should never talk back to their parents. I about died laughing the other night when he informed my 12 year old sister, his aunt, when she was being a smart-alec (jokingly, Mom was laughing) to our mother, "you gotta respect your olders, Ella. You can't talk back to my nana. She is your older. Ella, you gotta respect your olders!"

So funny! Little monkey is listening to us more than we realize!

parrot_girl

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1718 on: August 04, 2017, 03:39:46 AM »
Another Budgie moment; he's in fine form. He's discovered that insulting people is fun (THIS WILL END) but he hasn't quite cottoned on to what an insult actually is (ALAS, THIS TOO WILL END). I've been called "Mother Poo-Bum", "Mother Alarm Clock", "you grown-up party pooper" (I'm your mother! It's my job description!) and all sorts of other names, none of which actually insult. The biggest challenge has been keeping our faces straight while we tell him not to do it.
And, then, the other night at dinner, he lost his temper with his father, for some reason, and we had this:
Budgie, spluttering with rage, :" You... you... you Grand Final!!!!!!"

Princess Parrot, age 9: "Grand Final?!

Me, to King Parrot: "I always did think you were Premiership quality!"

King Parrot: ".... which Grand Final?"

Budgie was even more furious with us after that.

AfleetAlex

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1719 on: August 16, 2017, 03:22:55 PM »
My niece had dolls named Crunchy and Flowerpot. We're still not sure where those names came from.

Edited to add:  have I already posted that? I can't remember and can't find it. If it's a double-post, please disregard.
« Last Edit: August 16, 2017, 03:40:56 PM by AfleetAlex »
I have a chronic case of foot-in-mouth disease.

wonderfullyanonymous

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1720 on: August 19, 2017, 12:49:31 PM »
I needed the car the other day, so I had to take DF to work. Our granddaughter, who is almost 6 was staying with us, so she had to come too. Coming home, I noticed a wild turkey in someone's yard, and from the back seat...

GD: "OOOO grandma, what is that?"
Me: "That's a turkey, baby."
GD: "Is that where chicken comes from?"
Me: "No, baby, turkey comes from turkey, chicken comes from chicken."
GD: "Okay"

lilfox

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1721 on: August 26, 2017, 10:38:33 PM »
I was running a bath for DS.  He disrobed and climbed in but was oddly careful to keep one leg out of the water as much as he could while he sat down.  I asked him what was going on, why didn't he put his foot in the water?  He said "This isn't my water foot, this <points to submerged leg> is my water foot."

Okay then.  As I walked out he started talking to his non-water foot and eased it into the water.

His older sister used to reprimand her hands for being "bad" at that age so I guess this is a positive version?

TootsNYC

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1722 on: August 27, 2017, 08:52:17 PM »
I was running a bath for DS.  He disrobed and climbed in but was oddly careful to keep one leg out of the water as much as he could while he sat down.  I asked him what was going on, why didn't he put his foot in the water?  He said "This isn't my water foot, this <points to submerged leg> is my water foot."

Okay then.  As I walked out he started talking to his non-water foot and eased it into the water.

His older sister used to reprimand her hands for being "bad" at that age so I guess this is a positive version?

I would actually wonder whether there was something going on--a scrape that stings when it gets wet, etc.

turtleIScream

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1723 on: August 27, 2017, 09:53:46 PM »
We were watching Stargate SG-1, and O'Neil commented how as a soldier, he's done terrible things that of course he regrets and wishes he could go back and change. It was a rather poignant scene about living with regret. My 7 year old solemnly nodded his head and said, "oh, yes, that is so true."
Life happens wherever you are, whether you make it or not. - Uncle Iroh

jpcher

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1724 on: August 29, 2017, 04:13:06 PM »
Does it count if the "kid" is 23 years old?

The other day DD#2 and I were emailing each other on a certain topic while I was at work. The emails got a bit punny and she got a one-up on me. My reply was:

"Phhhhhhht! You know, that sound that you make when you stick your tongue between your lips and blow? How do you spell that?"

I had a perfect response to whatever spelling for Phhhhht she was going to come back with . . . "Wrong! the proper spelling of that is t-h-a-t!" HAHAHA I'm going to get her back! LOL!

No. Her response literally had me laughing so hard I was in tears, almost rolling on the floor.

She replied: "You know that talk to text thing that usually gives you the right spelling? I tried that and all it got me was spit all over my phone."

 ;D