Best/Worst Christmas letters?

[The Wild One, Forever]

This doesn't sound nearly as funny when I write it out, but here goes... one of DH's coworker's wives writes this letter every year that is typical vanilla stuff (Johnny got a new dog, blah blah blah) interspersed with totally shocking language about her DH's first wife, referring to her as very negative words you use to refer to women.  Then back to "Sally sings in the church choir."  Then back to swearing a blue streak.  It's hilarious- like rapid cycling bipolar disorder in letter form. 

Whoever finds it in the mailbox each year runs up the driveway, yelling "it's here!  it's here!"

I am literally LOL!  I wish you could reproduce this year's letter.   

[Miriam]

My cousin who is about six or seven sent the most precious christmas card to my mother. We hardly get to visit with one another because they live a few hours away and my mother has stress issues with her job and guests but we do what we can to stay in touch. So little cousin sends us a package full of lip glosses, nail files, and some of those face masks you can pick up at the pharmacy and wrote to my mom:

Dear Aunt M,
Just sit back and relax. Doesn't that sound nice? I hope you enjoy the presents and I miss you, M (Me), and M (sister) and I hope all of y'all can just enjoy yourselves and relax. Don't forget that the masks are relaxing. I love you. Relax
Love, A.

Pahahaha I guess mother needs to relax or something.