Author Topic: Conversations The Cats and I Would Have If They Could Talk: Feeding Time  (Read 5525 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Twik

  • A Pillar of the Forum
  • *****
  • Posts: 28266
Re: Conversations The Cats and I Would Have If They Could Talk: Feeding Time
« Reply #30 on: December 20, 2010, 12:36:20 PM »
My mom's cat...

Spencer: I'm hungry....

Spencer: I'M HUNGRY. GOOD LORD, WOMAN, I CAN SEE THE BOTTOM OF MY DISH SHOWING THROUGH THE FOOD THAT'S THERE!

Spencer: (Chomp on ankle)

Spencer: That's better. Now, try not to bleed on the yummies, thank you.
My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."

Marzipan

  • Jr. Member
  • *
  • Posts: 48
Re: Conversations The Cats and I Would Have If They Could Talk: Feeding Time
« Reply #31 on: December 21, 2010, 01:11:57 PM »
Pre-moving and leaving Biscuit with DH's parents:

Me: *gets into car first thing in the morning, starts to reverse, sees goat in rearview mirror standing behind car. sighs, gets out of car*
"Come here, Biscuit. How did you get out this time? Get back into your pen!!"
Biscuit: "there's no food in my pen"
Me: "you're a GOAT. Your pen is full of food. grass...plants..small trees.."
Biscuit: "the neighbor's daffodils taste better."
Me: "do NOT go eat the neighbor's daffodils!"
Biscuit: "well, I already ate all of yours, so I don't have any left. The neighbor has tulips, too. Or should I say, the neighbor HAD tulips." *crunches something*
Me: *sigh* "Ok...guess..I'll be replacing some tulips. awesome. Now, get back into your pen!"
Biscuit: "No. I like it outside. You look nice..going to work, were you? Holding you up, am I? You know, if I squint, your car looks like a mountain..I bet I could hop up on it and survey the surrounding area to see if I can find any more tulips."
Me: "DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT IT! Come back here..don't you run away from me! Get back into your pen! Look, I have apricots!"
Biscuit: "did you say.....apricots?? and is that..a sandwich you have there, perhaps for your lunch today?"
Me: *waving sandwich* "come on..back to your pen...NOW..."


You have a goat as a pet?
So I was right, goats can be pets.  :D

Background:  One day driving in the country, I saw a sign saying baby goats for sale.  I remarked to my DH, that goats were an unsuall pet.  He said the goats were not for sale as pets, but as for food :-X

I can now happily believe that those baby goats were going to a good home as much loved Pets ;D

Marzipan

Outdoor Girl

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 13507
Re: Conversations The Cats and I Would Have If They Could Talk: Feeding Time
« Reply #32 on: December 21, 2010, 01:18:27 PM »
People who raise goats for milk obviously only want one male goat and the rest female.  So when baby boy goats are born, they don't want to keep them.

I know of people who use goats as companion animals for horses, particularly harness racing horses.

For those of you with cats that cry when they can see the bottom of the bowl, have you tried this trick?

I've picked up the dish, pretended to add a bit of kibble and really just gave the dish a shake to cover the bottom again.  It worked with my girl.
I have CDO.  It is like OCD but with the letters in alphabetical order, as they should be.
Ontario

geordicat

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4463
  • Are we there yet?
Re: Conversations The Cats and I Would Have If They Could Talk: Feeding Time
« Reply #33 on: December 21, 2010, 01:34:13 PM »
People who raise goats for milk obviously only want one male goat and the rest female.  So when baby boy goats are born, they don't want to keep them.

I know of people who use goats as companion animals for horses, particularly harness racing horses.

For those of you with cats that cry when they can see the bottom of the bowl, have you tried this trick?

I've picked up the dish, pretended to add a bit of kibble and really just gave the dish a shake to cover the bottom again.  It worked with my girl.

It works with Velcro.  She comes RUNNING to see what new stuff has been left for her.
Light travels faster than sound.  That's why some people appear bright until they open their mouth.

supernova

  • thanks for all the fish
  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2300
  • dancing alone
Re: Conversations The Cats and I Would Have If They Could Talk: Feeding Time
« Reply #34 on: December 21, 2010, 02:16:53 PM »
Off-topic:  Goats are fabulous pets!  Especially if you have a lot of yard and you really hate mowing.   ;D


camlan

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 8503
Re: Conversations The Cats and I Would Have If They Could Talk: Feeding Time
« Reply #35 on: December 21, 2010, 02:17:51 PM »
Pre-moving and leaving Biscuit with DH's parents:

Me: *gets into car first thing in the morning, starts to reverse, sees goat in rearview mirror standing behind car. sighs, gets out of car*
"Come here, Biscuit. How did you get out this time? Get back into your pen!!"
Biscuit: "there's no food in my pen"
Me: "you're a GOAT. Your pen is full of food. grass...plants..small trees.."
Biscuit: "the neighbor's daffodils taste better."
Me: "do NOT go eat the neighbor's daffodils!"
Biscuit: "well, I already ate all of yours, so I don't have any left. The neighbor has tulips, too. Or should I say, the neighbor HAD tulips." *crunches something*
Me: *sigh* "Ok...guess..I'll be replacing some tulips. awesome. Now, get back into your pen!"
Biscuit: "No. I like it outside. You look nice..going to work, were you? Holding you up, am I? You know, if I squint, your car looks like a mountain..I bet I could hop up on it and survey the surrounding area to see if I can find any more tulips."
Me: "DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT IT! Come back here..don't you run away from me! Get back into your pen! Look, I have apricots!"
Biscuit: "did you say.....apricots?? and is that..a sandwich you have there, perhaps for your lunch today?"
Me: *waving sandwich* "come on..back to your pen...NOW..."


You have a goat as a pet?
So I was right, goats can be pets.  :D

Background:  One day driving in the country, I saw a sign saying baby goats for sale.  I remarked to my DH, that goats were an unsuall pet.  He said the goats were not for sale as pets, but as for food :-X

I can now happily believe that those baby goats were going to a good home as much loved Pets ;D

Marzipan

I know a couple who, one very, very cold and snowy winter, brought their pet goat indoors. The goat pretty much house broke herself and only had an accident if they failed to let her outside in time. I used to pet sit for the goat and the cats and the guinea pigs and they were all very happy, well-cared-for animals.
Nothing is impossible, the word itself says, “I’m possible!” –Audrey Hepburn


Ms_Cellany

  • The Queen of Squee
  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 5682
  • Big white goggie? No. Hasn't seen him.
Re: Conversations The Cats and I Would Have If They Could Talk: Feeding Time
« Reply #36 on: December 21, 2010, 03:51:12 PM »

I know of people who use goats as companion animals for horses, particularly harness racing horses.


This is the source of the phrase "to get one's goat."  It's a racing tactic to steal a rival horse's stable goat. The horse gets upset and doesn't perform well.
Current fosters: Boojum (F, adult); Zuul (F); Magpie (M); Balrog (M); Nazgul (F)

Lynnv

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2476
Re: Conversations The Cats and I Would Have If They Could Talk: Feeding Time
« Reply #37 on: December 21, 2010, 06:56:02 PM »
For those of you with cats that cry when they can see the bottom of the bowl, have you tried this trick?

I've picked up the dish, pretended to add a bit of kibble and really just gave the dish a shake to cover the bottom again.  It worked with my girl.

Works with the boys as long as it completely covers the bottom of the dish (no dish must be visible).

Sidd never liked for his dish to be 'empty' either.  And the shake the dish trick worked great with him. Of course, we could also pick up a handful of food, while he was watching, and tell him it was treats (or bowl-treats) and have him be just as excited as he was for treats from the treat jar.  He was a cute dog, but not so bright.  :>
Lynn

"Anyone who considers protocol unimportant has never dealt with a cat."  Robert A. Heinlein

DangerMouth

  • Work as if you were in the early days of a better nation.
  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 7482
  • Everybody Gets Ice Cream!
Re: Conversations The Cats and I Would Have If They Could Talk: Feeding Time
« Reply #38 on: December 21, 2010, 07:15:28 PM »

I know of people who use goats as companion animals for horses, particularly harness racing horses.


This is the source of the phrase "to get one's goat."  It's a racing tactic to steal a rival horse's stable goat. The horse gets upset and doesn't perform well.

I never knew that!

StarDrifter

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 924
  • I never tell people exactly how smart I am
Re: Conversations The Cats and I Would Have If They Could Talk: Feeding Time
« Reply #39 on: December 22, 2010, 01:42:05 AM »
We have four players in our conversation
Myself and Ace (the humans who pay the mortgage) then we have Ethan and Archie (the felines who own the house).

Ethan usually starts around ten past seven, just as Ace is getting up.

Ethan: DAD. BREAKFAST. NOW.
Ace: I'm showering first, you can have breakfast when I'm done. Go back to your scheduled shedding on the sofa.
Ace closes the bedroom door (I work later starts than him and don't get up until around eight) but today Ace was not careful enough. The door was not closed properly.
Archie: Ethan- hey, psst... mum's in there and the door's not shut properly. Go ask her for breakfast.
Ethan: You sure? Dad doesn't like us going in that room. He put VapoRub on the door, remember?
Archie: Yeah that was ages ago, go on in, ask mum for breakfast.

Ethan attempts to be stealthy, pushing the door open and entering the room with his three bells (yes, he needs three) remaining silent until he jumps onto the bed, onto me.

Ethan: MUM. Dad won't feed me and I'm STAAAARVING.
Me: Go away. I fed you two hours ago when I got up to pee.
Ethan: Archie ate all of that. I'm still hungry. What's that?
Me: That is my phone, leave it alone.
Ethan: It's shiny and there's something inside it that is moving around. I must destroy it!

Ethan leaps from his position on my stomach to my bedside table, knocking my phone (thankfully in a squishy case and on its' charger) and several books to the floor and falling in an ungracious heap on top of them.

Ace (from the shower): What was that crash!?
Ethan: Nothing! Nothing! I didn't fall off the bedside table! I didn't do anything!

I get out of bed and scoop Ethan up, taking him into the hallway. Archie slips between my feet as I leave, entering the forbidden domain that is our bedroom while it is empty of parents.

I take Ethan down the hall into the kitchen and plop him on the floor in front of their two kibble bowls.
Me: There. Breakfast is served. Enjoy.
Ethan: That's stale. I don't want it. I need fresh kibble.
Me: Fine.

I get the box down and shake it over the bowls so that three pieces of kibble land in each. Ethan sits and begins to munch while I return to bed.

Me: Archie, why are you in our room? You know you're not allowed in here. Get out of the bed.
Archie: But you got up and left this lovely warm patch for me!
Ace: Is Archie in the bed again?
Me: Yes but he is being extracted.

Archie yawns as I pick him up and take him into the kitchen to join his brother. Archie settles down at the blue bowl and Ethan looks over at him.

Ethan: Hang on, how come he gets the blue bowl! I want the blue bowl!

Ethan nudges his big brother aside and begins eating out of the blue bowl, sending Archie to the red one, which is now almost empty. He looks at it then up at me, pitiful.

Archie: Why did you have to bring him home? I'm a walking skeleton thanks to him, he always eats all the food and never leaves me anything. Don't get me started on how he hides all the good toys.

Me: Fine. You can eat in the laundry, but this is the last time.

I pick up the blue bowl and take it into the laundry, putting it on top of the stacked washer and dryer before scooping a half-cup of kibble out of the big box in the laundry.

Archie: You expect me to jump up there under my own power? That's almost six feet!
Me: Fine. But you better not complain when you can't get down again.

I pick him up and deposit him on the top of the dryer and he begins to eat his breakfast. I return to bed, thinking I might get another half-hour of snooze in, only to find Ethan is now curling up in my warm spot.

I give up, extract him from the bed and make it before returning to the kitchen to make my own (and Ace's) breakfasts.

Ten minutes later, just as the second lot of toast pops and the kettle is boiling.

Archie: MUUUUUUUM!!! COME AND GET ME DOWN!!! I'M STUCK ON TOP OF THE DRYER!
... it might frighten them.
Victoria,

Maujer

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1077
Re: Conversations The Cats and I Would Have If They Could Talk: Feeding Time
« Reply #40 on: December 22, 2010, 03:00:25 AM »
This happens every spring and summer with Mandy, my parent's Aussie.

Mandy: HOORAY! YOU GREW STRAWBERRIES FOR ME AGAIN. Nomnomnomnomnom. Man, I love you humans.

Me: MANDY. GET OUT OF THE GARDEN. DOGS DON'T LIKE STRAWBERRIES. Wait, how can you tell which ones are red? I thought dogs can't see color.

Mandy: ::slinks away:: Oh no, human mad. It's ok. I LOVE YOU, HUMAN I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE Y -- Ooo, cherry tomatoes? Maybe if I move really slowly, human will not notice even though I'm 50 lbs and marked like a panda.

Me: Mandy, I'm noticing.

Mandy: Maybe if I move even slower . . .

Me: Still noticing.

Mandy: And put one paw at a time into the garden . . .

Me: Continuing to notice.

Mandy: Slow nomnomnom?

deety

  • woodland pixie
  • Jr. Member
  • *
  • Posts: 72
  • chunga!
Re: Conversations The Cats and I Would Have If They Could Talk: Feeding Time
« Reply #41 on: December 22, 2010, 02:33:28 PM »

Me: [finishing up, donning coat and gathering things to leave]. Bye! Have a good day! Don't burn down the place!


Our goodbye to the cats & dog was similar:  Bye!  Have a good day--no wild parties!  I would say it when I left the house, pre-kids, and then post-DD.  So much part of the ritual, I didn't really realize how often I said it.

I about choked when my then-almost-2 DD would admonish the pets before we would leave "no yi-ld pahties" with her hand on her hip and shaking her finger at them.  It's since expanded to any humans left at the house, with a "teeny wild party" becoming acceptable.

And the (animals) teeny wild party?  The cat jumping on the counter and licking a divot in the butter.  The dog would chew up (used) tissues.  Wildness abounds.


supernova

  • thanks for all the fish
  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2300
  • dancing alone
Re: Conversations The Cats and I Would Have If They Could Talk: Feeding Time
« Reply #42 on: December 22, 2010, 02:40:35 PM »

Me: [finishing up, donning coat and gathering things to leave]. Bye! Have a good day! Don't burn down the place!


Our goodbye to the cats & dog was similar:  Bye!  Have a good day--no wild parties!  I would say it when I left the house, pre-kids, and then post-DD.  So much part of the ritual, I didn't really realize how often I said it.

I about choked when my then-almost-2 DD would admonish the pets before we would leave "no yi-ld pahties" with her hand on her hip and shaking her finger at them.  It's since expanded to any humans left at the house, with a "teeny wild party" becoming acceptable.

And the (animals) teeny wild party?  The cat jumping on the counter and licking a divot in the butter.  The dog would chew up (used) tissues.  Wildness abounds.



Heh. Our cats would look so durned guilty every time we'd come home, we always half expected to find the counter littered with tiny beer bottles, and miniature pasties in sets of eight...

PeasNCues

  • Mind your PeasNCues!
  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 7366
Re: Conversations The Cats and I Would Have If They Could Talk: Feeding Time
« Reply #43 on: December 22, 2010, 02:47:08 PM »
I leave the apartment every day with a, "by, babies! Be good!" and every day I swear there is an audible snort coming from Moose's direction.
'I shall sit here quietly by the fire for a bit, and perhaps go out later for a sniff of air.  Mind your Ps and Qs, and don't forget that you are supposed to be escaping in secret, and are still on the high-road and not very far from the Shire!' -FOTR

http://inanitiesofanidlemind.blogspot.com/

Layla Miller

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2685
  • I know stuff.
Re: Conversations The Cats and I Would Have If They Could Talk: Feeding Time
« Reply #44 on: December 22, 2010, 03:15:58 PM »
Just the other day DH and I walked in the door to find one of the cat's toy mice sitting on the entry rug, facing us, while the cat started up from the couch as if saying, "Dude!  You were supposed to warn me when they were home!"

Of course, that was one of the rare times we didn't come home to find an ornament knocked off the tree or the garbage rifled through or furniture in disarray (he actually knocked over a good-sized armchair recently) or etc., etc.  As I mentioned in the TPBM thread, we're contemplating getting him coal for Christmas.  ;D
I searched for nothing on the Internet and got 175,000,000 hits.