Author Topic: "Only low-class people stay married more than 10 years these days..."  (Read 26823 times)

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Piratelvr1121

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Re: "Only low-class people stay married more than 10 years these days..."
« Reply #90 on: January 01, 2011, 06:17:12 PM »
HEEHEEHEEHEEHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!   

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Jan74

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Re: "Only low-class people stay married more than 10 years these days..."
« Reply #91 on: January 01, 2011, 06:58:02 PM »
I love Tupperware. I'm extra low-class.

Lynda_34

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Re: "Only low-class people stay married more than 10 years these days..."
« Reply #92 on: January 02, 2011, 11:22:20 PM »
I used to sell tupperware, :D but I was married 15 years ;) been divorced over 20 :o where do I fall on this spectrum? >:D

Jan74

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Re: "Only low-class people stay married more than 10 years these days..."
« Reply #93 on: January 03, 2011, 12:23:42 AM »
I used to sell tupperware, :D but I was married 15 years ;) been divorced over 20 :o where do I fall on this spectrum? >:D

You should have been married and divorced at least 3 times in 35 years, I guess.  >:D

Emmy

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Re: "Only low-class people stay married more than 10 years these days..."
« Reply #94 on: January 03, 2011, 12:07:28 PM »
It's 5 years for us in March - half way to white trash!!

It's really an interesting assumption to think that anybody who is married more than 10 years is still married just because they can't afford a divorce.  Did it ever occur to this woman that people stay married 10 years and much longer because they want to stay married.  If somebody really feels that marriages shouldn't last over 10 years, what would be her view of marriage overall?  The definition of marriage is committing your life to somebody.

I think people who are used to sad/unhealthy relationship have a tendency to make outlandish assumptions about other people's healthy relationships.  DH's best friend's now ex girlfriend said my marriage with DH 'sucked'.  DH and I are very happy and love to spend time together as well as pursuing our own interests with friends, respect one another, are rarely fight.  DH's friend's girlfriend was very clingy, would get very upset and insecure if he wanted to spend time with his friends, they fought all the time, and she was upset he hadn't proposed after years of dating.  DH and I are glad our relationship sucks by her definition.
« Last Edit: January 03, 2011, 05:13:23 PM by Emmy »

Jan74

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Re: "Only low-class people stay married more than 10 years these days..."
« Reply #95 on: January 03, 2011, 01:00:21 PM »

I think people who are used to sad/unhealthy relationship have a tendency to make outlandish assumptions about other people's healthy relationships.  DH's best friend's now ex girlfriend said my marriage with DH 'sucked'.  DH and I are very happy and love to spend time together as well as pursuing our own interests with friends, respect one another, are rarely fight.  DH's friend's girlfriend was very clingy, would get very upset and insecure if he wanted to spend time with his friends, they fought all the time, and she was upset he hadn't proposed after years of dating.  DH and I are glad our relationship sucks by her definition.

When I was dating my husband, I was told that I must not "really like" him, cause I didn't throw fits of jealousy, keep track of where he is at all times, and I "let" him go out by himself.  ::) I do think some people have very soap opera based views of what a relationship should be like. I can't imagine tracking where someone is 24/7 so they don't cheat on you, but for some people, that is what it is like.

PeasNCues

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Re: "Only low-class people stay married more than 10 years these days..."
« Reply #96 on: January 03, 2011, 01:04:27 PM »
Our cousin's boyfriend told ShieldMaiden that their marriage was passionless and doomed because they did not have screaming, yelling fights.

ShieldMaiden and ShieldMan are two very rational thinkers. They do disagree, but generally just talk it out instead of yellling.

So they are doomed to fall out of love.

 ::)
« Last Edit: January 03, 2011, 01:07:58 PM by PeasNCues »
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DangerMouth

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Re: "Only low-class people stay married more than 10 years these days..."
« Reply #97 on: January 03, 2011, 01:06:46 PM »
Thanks. I'm sure I'd have to walk away from them to keep from laughing in their face about the explanation they just gave me. I'd love to hear this woman's rationalization!

Ed.

I'm not sure laughter would actually be inappropriate here. She said something funny, right? :D

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Re: "Only low-class people stay married more than 10 years these days..."
« Reply #98 on: January 05, 2011, 01:28:35 AM »
When I was dating my husband, I was told that I must not "really like" him, cause I didn't throw fits of jealousy, keep track of where he is at all times, and I "let" him go out by himself.  ::) I do think some people have very soap opera based views of what a relationship should be like. I can't imagine tracking where someone is 24/7 so they don't cheat on you, but for some people, that is what it is like.
Our cousin's boyfriend told ShieldMaiden that their marriage was passionless and doomed because they did not have screaming, yelling fights.

That reminds me of a story that has been passed  in my family. My great-great-grandmother was a schoolteacher in a village in the Eastern part of Romania. As most of the village population back then was uneducated,  the schoolteacher was not only an educator for the children but also a respected advisor the whole community was turning to when in need.
So, one day, great-great-grandma is visited by this sobbing young peasant girl.
-Ma'am, she says, I'm desperate, I don't know what to do... my husband doesn't love me.
-What makes you think he doesn't? Great-great-grandma asked her.
-It's because he never beats me!!

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Rosey

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Re: "Only low-class people stay married more than 10 years these days..."
« Reply #99 on: January 05, 2011, 07:49:37 AM »
I'm sorry to say that this is not snakes in a restaurant.

There are a lot of people who are still married right now because they can't afford to get divorced. I didn't read this as her saying, "The only reason anyone stays married more than ten years is because they can't afford to get divorced."

I read this as her saying, "If you want to get divorced BUT you're still married after ten. long. years. of not wanting to be married, it must be because you're poor."

Obviously I could be wrong since I wasn't there and everyone else seems to have read it differently, but this just didn't come across as some insanely offensive and ignorant statement. I read it is a fact regarding the current state of the economy and divorces.

Of course, my reading relies on the idea that she used "low-class" meaning "not-of-middle-class-income" and not "people who are not classy."

Jan74

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Re: "Only low-class people stay married more than 10 years these days..."
« Reply #100 on: January 05, 2011, 08:36:47 AM »
When I was dating my husband, I was told that I must not "really like" him, cause I didn't throw fits of jealousy, keep track of where he is at all times, and I "let" him go out by himself.  ::) I do think some people have very soap opera based views of what a relationship should be like. I can't imagine tracking where someone is 24/7 so they don't cheat on you, but for some people, that is what it is like.
Our cousin's boyfriend told ShieldMaiden that their marriage was passionless and doomed because they did not have screaming, yelling fights.

That reminds me of a story that has been passed  in my family. My great-great-grandmother was a schoolteacher in a village in the Eastern part of Romania. As most of the village population back then was uneducated,  the schoolteacher was not only an educator for the children but also a respected advisor the whole community was turning to when in need.
So, one day, great-great-grandma is visited by this sobbing young peasant girl.
-Ma'am, she says, I'm desperate, I don't know what to do... my husband doesn't love me.
-What makes you think he doesn't? Great-great-grandma asked her.
-It's because he never beats me!!



The whole "screaming fight, break the plates" thing is just the politically correct version of the same sentiment that peasant girl expressed.

Jan74

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Re: "Only low-class people stay married more than 10 years these days..."
« Reply #101 on: January 05, 2011, 08:39:34 AM »
I'm sorry to say that this is not snakes in a restaurant.

There are a lot of people who are still married right now because they can't afford to get divorced. I didn't read this as her saying, "The only reason anyone stays married more than ten years is because they can't afford to get divorced."

I read this as her saying, "If you want to get divorced BUT you're still married after ten. long. years. of not wanting to be married, it must be because you're poor."

Obviously I could be wrong since I wasn't there and everyone else seems to have read it differently, but this just didn't come across as some insanely offensive and ignorant statement. I read it is a fact regarding the current state of the economy and divorces.

Of course, my reading relies on the idea that she used "low-class" meaning "not-of-middle-class-income" and not "people who are not classy."

The word she used translates better as "rednecks", but I didn't wanna be offensive to people who have been called rednecks or anything, so I went with the more neutral "low-class". So she definitely didn't mean it as "poor", she meant of "of poor taste". It was said with a sneer, the same way one would say "Only tacky people still have mullets", or something like that.

Elfqueen13

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Re: "Only low-class people stay married more than 10 years these days..."
« Reply #102 on: January 05, 2011, 09:39:41 AM »
I seem to recall that Donald Trump's prenup with wife #2 had a 10-year clause in it that gave her a larger settlement after year 11?  Maybe that's where she's getting it from.
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Twik

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Re: "Only low-class people stay married more than 10 years these days..."
« Reply #103 on: January 05, 2011, 10:15:21 AM »
I'm sorry to say that this is not snakes in a restaurant.

There are a lot of people who are still married right now because they can't afford to get divorced. I didn't read this as her saying, "The only reason anyone stays married more than ten years is because they can't afford to get divorced."

I read this as her saying, "If you want to get divorced BUT you're still married after ten. long. years. of not wanting to be married, it must be because you're poor."

Obviously I could be wrong since I wasn't there and everyone else seems to have read it differently, but this just didn't come across as some insanely offensive and ignorant statement. I read it is a fact regarding the current state of the economy and divorces.

Of course, my reading relies on the idea that she used "low-class" meaning "not-of-middle-class-income" and not "people who are not classy."

But that's not true either. There are a lot of people of good incomes who don't get divorced even if the thrill is gone. Sometimes it's for the children. Sometimes, it's to look good to the outside world. Sometimes, it's because they have so *much* money, that they fear what they'll lose to the other partner. (It's one thing to lose half-interest on a second-hand car, and pack up the apartment furniture, quite another to visualize losing your vacation home in the Bahamas.) Sometimes, it's just apathy. If she meant, "people who don't get divorced because they can't afford it, can't afford it," she's being redundant.

And anyone describing someone else (even hypothetically) as "low class" is insulting them. There are lot of people with little money who would consider being called "low class" fighting words.

ETA: Further, she didn't qualify her statement as "people who want to get divorced for ten years", she said "people who are married for ten years". If she didn't mean that, she made a complete foot-in-mouth mistake.
« Last Edit: January 05, 2011, 10:20:44 AM by Twik »
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Luci

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Re: "Only low-class people stay married more than 10 years these days..."
« Reply #104 on: January 05, 2011, 10:39:47 AM »
And some of us stay together to honor our vows which are there because marriage has its ups and downs in freshness, joy and passion. We know we don't need to scratch everything we have built together just because we go through a short period of not feeling like honeymooners. We know that we'll get the feeling back again soon, and we do, because through it all we love each other.

Money and society have nothing to do with it.