Author Topic: Fantastic advice about being a "good" wife from back in the day  (Read 5319 times)

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MadMadge43

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Re: Fantastic advice about being a "good" wife from back in the day
« Reply #30 on: December 23, 2010, 01:35:09 PM »

Quote
I mean there are times when I've had to go to DH's job and of course I didn't want to look like a slob in front of his coworkers.

My BF works in a bank branch that's located in our supermarket, the one I shop at, regardless if he worked there or not. His co-workers have seen me looking pretty bad, but I have to admit I have stepped it up slightly since he started working there.

Suze

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Re: Fantastic advice about being a "good" wife from back in the day
« Reply #31 on: December 23, 2010, 01:49:53 PM »
my Mom made and delivered Dad's lunch every night for years -- but she didn't dress for the occasion

However even in the "age of pants" she always wore dresses or skirts -- so maybe that counts a little bit..?

I never saw Mom and Dad doing a lot of kissing and hugging in public but there was never any doubt in my mind that they loved each other.

I mean who else would make someone lunch every night at 10 pm and walk it over to the shop (it was in our back yard) if you didn't love them?
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Lisbeth

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Re: Fantastic advice about being a "good" wife from back in the day
« Reply #32 on: December 23, 2010, 02:19:05 PM »
I still would not have done it-even if it meant I had to own a shop, teach school, or whatever.  I would not have married and stayed a "spinster" no matter how looked down upon that status was.  As an adult I am not going to "submit," "obey," or "surrender" on principle just to have status.  The emotional and psychological crap is NOT worth it.
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Elfqueen13

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Re: Fantastic advice about being a "good" wife from back in the day
« Reply #33 on: December 23, 2010, 02:23:03 PM »
I still would not have done it-even if it meant I had to own a shop, teach school, or whatever.  I would not have married and stayed a "spinster" no matter how looked down upon that status was.  As an adult I am not going to "submit," "obey," or "surrender" on principle just to have status.  The emotional and psychological crap is NOT worth it.

And that is your choice to make but please remember that not all of us who did promise to obey did so under duress or to gain status.
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Suze

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Re: Fantastic advice about being a "good" wife from back in the day
« Reply #34 on: December 23, 2010, 02:24:22 PM »
my father had an aunt that never married -- she lived with them her whole life.

yes, my pops was a spoiled child

she also never learned to read or write (dad was born in 1922)
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Luci

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Re: Fantastic advice about being a "good" wife from back in the day
« Reply #35 on: December 23, 2010, 02:37:04 PM »
she also never learned to read or write (dad was born in 1922)

So we can guess that she was born about 1900. Good grief! Where did they live? Or was she mentally challenged?

(All 4 of my grandparents were born in the 1880's, farm folk. Three graduated college or normal school, one attended normal school but had to drop our for financial reasons.)

Lisbeth

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Re: Fantastic advice about being a "good" wife from back in the day
« Reply #36 on: December 23, 2010, 04:49:59 PM »
And where did I indicate that I think any such thing about anyone else's choice?
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exitzero

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Re: Fantastic advice about being a "good" wife from back in the day
« Reply #37 on: December 23, 2010, 05:00:16 PM »
she also never learned to read or write (dad was born in 1922)

So we can guess that she was born about 1900. Good grief! Where did they live? Or was she mentally challenged?

(All 4 of my grandparents were born in the 1880's, farm folk. Three graduated college or normal school, one attended normal school but had to drop our for financial reasons.)

Things were different in the early 1900's. My grandmother was born in 1898, she could read and write, but didn't have much formal education because education was "wasted" on girls. Some famlies, of course, were different, but this was a prevailing attitude at the time.

Ms_Shell

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Re: Fantastic advice about being a "good" wife from back in the day
« Reply #38 on: December 23, 2010, 05:01:50 PM »
Back in the day I would have stayed single if I were truly expected to live like that.

Depending on the era, you might have had to live with your parents or another female relative for life, though, because single ladies didn't live alone.

Or become a nun.

I still would not have done it-even if it meant I had to own a shop, teach school, or whatever.  I would not have married and stayed a "spinster" no matter how looked down upon that status was.  As an adult I am not going to "submit," "obey," or "surrender" on principle just to have status.  The emotional and psychological crap is NOT worth it.

@Elfqueen13 - I believe Keenreader was replying to this quote tree.  I think she's posting from her phone, and if I'm not mistaken, I don't think you can quote other posts on a cell phone.  I just thought I'd clear up a possible misunderstanding.  :)

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MadMadge43

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Re: Fantastic advice about being a "good" wife from back in the day
« Reply #39 on: December 23, 2010, 05:35:14 PM »
Quote
Things were different in the early 1900's. My grandmother was born in 1898, she could read and write, but didn't have much formal education because education was "wasted" on girls. Some famlies, of course, were different, but this was a prevailing attitude at the time.


That's why only my uncle went to college, even though my mother wanted to very badly. That was in the 50's. She would have been an amazing CEO.

Suze

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Re: Fantastic advice about being a "good" wife from back in the day
« Reply #40 on: December 23, 2010, 05:47:06 PM »
she also never learned to read or write (dad was born in 1922)

So we can guess that she was born about 1900. Good grief! Where did they live? Or was she mentally challenged?

(All 4 of my grandparents were born in the 1880's, farm folk. Three graduated college or normal school, one attended normal school but had to drop our for financial reasons.)

Things were different in the early 1900's. My grandmother was born in 1898, she could read and write, but didn't have much formal education because education was "wasted" on girls. Some famlies, of course, were different, but this was a prevailing attitude at the time.

Aunt was not mentaly challanged that I know of but -as was not unexpected at the time - her Mother died in childbirth and the "oldest girl" got to stay home and make house for the family. 

I think she was about 7 at the time......
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magicdomino

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Re: Fantastic advice about being a "good" wife from back in the day
« Reply #41 on: December 23, 2010, 06:14:56 PM »
she also never learned to read or write (dad was born in 1922)

So we can guess that she was born about 1900. Good grief! Where did they live? Or was she mentally challenged?

(All 4 of my grandparents were born in the 1880's, farm folk. Three graduated college or normal school, one attended normal school but had to drop our for financial reasons.)


Things were different in the early 1900's. My grandmother was born in 1898, she could read and write, but didn't have much formal education because education was "wasted" on girls. Some famlies, of course, were different, but this was a prevailing attitude at the time.

My mother was born in 1915, and her parents firmly believed that a woman didn't need to go to school past 8th grade.  In fact, they probably wouldn't have cared if she had quit earlier than that.  I find it remarkable that 4 out of 5 girls in that family put themselves through high school (no local high school, so they went to boarding school) and a year or two of college, with absolutely no help from their parents.

Germane Jackson

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Re: Fantastic advice about being a "good" wife from back in the day
« Reply #42 on: December 23, 2010, 06:37:27 PM »

My mother was born in 1915, and her parents firmly believed that a woman didn't need to go to school past 8th grade.  In fact, they probably wouldn't have cared if she had quit earlier than that.  I find it remarkable that 4 out of 5 girls in that family put themselves through high school (no local high school, so they went to boarding school) and a year or two of college, with absolutely no help from their parents.

Neither of my maternal grandparents stayed in school beyond 8th grade, they grew up in poverty. Their parents needed them to help around the house. I know my grandfather quit school at age 12 or something (started smoking at 10) because his father had died and as the oldest, he took over the role of 'man of the house'. I don't think my grandmother had more than an 8th grade education, if that. I do know that she met my grandfather when she was 16 and he was 18 or 19..and was already divorced with one child. She married my grandfather pretty quickly after they met. So I can't say she sacrificed education or a career for my grandfather, I'm pretty sure she had already dropped out of school to look after her younger brothers and sisters by the time she met him. When my grandparents got married, my great-grandmother lived with them and they took care of her until she died..(along with the 10 kids they had!)

« Last Edit: December 23, 2010, 06:39:25 PM by KittyBass »

Wench

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Re: Fantastic advice about being a "good" wife from back in the day
« Reply #43 on: December 23, 2010, 06:41:15 PM »
I think this is a copy of a guide to the perfect 50s housewife.

http://www.colorado.edu/AmStudies/lewis/film/gdhwife.htm

I remember studying this at school in English.  It was looking at the changing attitudes towards women via text. 

There is also quite a funny guide from ehow

http://www.ehow.com/how_4551897_be-s-housewife.html

Germane Jackson

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Re: Fantastic advice about being a "good" wife from back in the day
« Reply #44 on: December 23, 2010, 06:55:27 PM »
I used to have a dating manual that was from the 50's. I would love to scan it and put it up online, but I moved around so much it got misplaced over the years. I don't know if it was my aunt or my father's book when they were teenagers but it was a hoot to read when I was a teenager myself and I loved showing it to my friends. The book was called 'Boy Dates Girl' by G*a*y Head (yes that really is the author's name)

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Boy-dates-girl-Question-answer/dp/B0007FGT7Q if you don't believe me..except my copy had a yellow cover, not a red one.