When we first met, Lapis told me an "amusing" story about his paternal grandparents; how his grandmother would make an enormous spread every morning for breakfast. They grew/raised their food and she would lay out a table groaning with grits, breakfast meats, biscuits, fries, and eggs done every way you could think of.
His grandfather would come in, take one look and say, "Woman, don't you have anything here to eat?"
and storm off down to the store for crackers and sardines. The first time I heard this story, the look on my face must have been priceless. Evidently this was told fondly as a charming tale of his crotchety old paw-paw. I thought it was shameful and disrespectful, and I told him so. That jerked him up short; he'd never thought of it that way before (in his defense, he was about 16 when we met).
Later, I realized I didn't have all the information I needed to make that kind of judgment. His grandparents had long since passed, so I inquired and got more insight into his grandparents' rel@tionship with each other and their kids. Turned out I was right.