Warren Buffett

[macncheese]

Below is an interview with Nicole Buffett who is the adopted grand daughter of Warren Buffet who was disowned by him.
http://www.marieclaire.com/world-reports/news/latest/warren-buffett-granddaughter-nicole-buffett

Back in 2006, she participated in a documentary about rich people and the next got a letter from Buffett disowning her.

It is not like she is dropping bombshells or scandals and she can say whatever she wants. It is a free country.
There is probably a lot more going on to this story for Buffett but from an etiquette stand point it is rude to talk about someones finances in public without their permission.

[Jan74]

His finances are literally discussed in the media once a week, at least. I get a channel called Management TV where 1h a day where his work and interview and lecture footage are used, called just "Warren Buffet". So 7h a week, plus the reruns. And she didn't discuss them, according to the article and to the documentary (and I happen to have watched that documentary) - she discussed how important they were to him. Which I guess anyone who has ever heard of Warren Buffet knows already. It would be like saying "Computers are the most important thing in Bill Gates's life". The world would just go "Well, duh".

As someone who was also legally adopted by a stepfather, and who was told by someone who was "Grandma" "You're not my family anymore" after a divorce, I can say that what he did there is inexcusable. You don't. People are not disposable, to be tossed after a divorce or after they misbehave. He might have cut off financially a blood grandchild too, but he wouldn't have written the "I never emotionally considered you my granddaughter" letter like he did to her. I'm curious to see if her sister paid the same price, to receive such a terrible letter for her sister's "sin" as well, or for the "capital sin" of not being blood.

[macncheese]

His finances are literally discussed in the media once a week, at least. I get a channel called Management TV where 1h a day where his work and interview and lecture footage are used, called just "Warren Buffet". So 7h a week, plus the reruns. And she didn't discuss them, according to the article and to the documentary (and I happen to have watched that documentary) - she discussed how important they were to him. Which I guess anyone who has ever heard of Warren Buffet knows already. It would be like saying "Computers are the most important thing in Bill Gates's life". The world would just go "Well, duh".

As someone who was also legally adopted by a stepfather, and who was told by someone who was "Grandma" "You're not my family anymore" after a divorce, I can say that what he did there is inexcusable. You don't. People are not disposable, to be tossed after a divorce or after they misbehave. He might have cut off financially a blood grandchild too, but he wouldn't have written the "I never emotionally considered you my granddaughter" letter like he did to her. I'm curious to see if her sister paid the same price, to receive such a terrible letter for her sister's "sin" as well, or for the "capital sin" of not being blood.

You make some very valid points. Everyone knows his reputation and he is quite open about his money.

However he is the one talking about his money. I have read interviews by his children and if it is not stated in the article there is a feel that they first got his permission to talk.

As I said before, there is probably a lot more going on here then we actually know.

[Jan74]

I have a feeling the "not really my granddaughter" bit played a part. But a ton of families were apparently angry at Jamey Johnson's documentary, including his own. They are all pretty traditional, I guess.

However, as a good father to his son, if his son still considers Nicole his daughter, Warren should consider her his granddaughter, even if she were excluded from family occasions and the financial gifts. "I'm your grandfather but I don't forgive you for what you did" is still a lot better than "You were never really my granddaughter".

[macncheese]

It is definitely painful to say that. Maybe he was really angry that day.

Yeah. You are right about all the families being angry about the documentary. I guess rich
people do not like talking about money.

[Hanna]

After reading the article, I really don't have any sympathy for her.  She continues speaking publicly in an insulting manner instead of apologizing for the lack of respect and breach of his privacy.  She sounds like a publicity hound to me. How many families in this country live on $40K a year?  Trying to garner sympathy due to the fact that she is adopted while he treated her just as everyone else until she embarrassed him publicly just compounds her infraction.  She is not the victim here.

[Hanna]

He might have cut off financially a blood grandchild too, but he wouldn't have written the "I never emotionally considered you my granddaughter" letter like he did to her. I'm curious to see if her sister paid the same price, to receive such a terrible letter for her sister's "sin" as well, or for the "capital sin" of not being blood.

I am betting he would have used the same language regardless of blood relation.  And frankly, I am not sure I believe what she says anyway.  Who publicly speaks like this of a beloved Grandfather that has treated them kindly?

[Jan74]

In her defense, before the cut, what she said about money being the spoke in his wheel of life is really the most "offensive" thing she said about him in that documentary - as I said, who knows what she said off-camera, but on-camera, that is as "bad" as it gets. And he is a financier, so I don't see how what she said is that big of a surprise.

[ShadesOfGrey]

Their familial relationship is a private matter - not an etiquette one.

The *only* person breaking etiquette in this scenario is Nichole - by talking about her grandfathers' $$ (she can talk about her perspective, just not his finances), and then by publicly discussing their rift.  That's 2 etiquette violations on her part, none on Buffet's part.  

She participated in a documentary that basically vilifies the rich - and by extension, her grandfather.  That had to be hurtful, especially given the way Warren Buffet raised his family. She can say whatever she wants - it's a free country is true.  But she also has to accept the consequences of those actions.

ETA: I have to say, I agree there's probably a lot more to the story than meets the eye.  For example, it might be that Warren Buffet has*to use that sort of language in order to fend off her making a claim on his fortune when he dies.  

[Merry Mrs Martin]

  It sort of sounds like they were never close and it's possible that he is  not close (in the warm fuzzy favorite grandpa sense) to anyone, she call his office and speaks to his secretary to ask for help buying a futon, the family is surprised when she hugs him at Christmas . Although by buying her first paintings it does sound like his wife gave her (grandaughter) a chance to work as a artist. I didn't see the interview on Oprah but it reads as if she was really criticizing what he did with his money and publicly declaring what she would do if she has controll of a portion of it and that she felt entitled to controll of it. The article also eludes to the fact that Mr Buffet might not have been planing to give her and her sister as much as they think they were entitled to. It makes me wonder if there were any conversations to the effect of " well no grandpa I don't have a retirement plan but I'll my share of THE BUFFET FORTUNE by the time I'm 60"   It just feels like there's a lot of backstory.

[CG]

The article also eludes to the fact that Mr Buffet might not have been planing to give her and her sister as much as they think they were entitled to. It makes me wonder if there were any conversations to the effect of " well no grandpa I don't have a retirement plan but I'll my share of THE BUFFET FORTUNE by the time I'm 60"

There's a quote from Warren Buffett stating that he believes in giving his children enough that they can do anything, but not enough that they could nothing. 

[Shores]

 It sort of sounds like they were never close and it's possible that he is  not close (in the warm fuzzy favorite grandpa sense) to anyone, she call his office and speaks to his secretary to ask for help buying a futon, the family is surprised when she hugs him at Christmas . Although by buying her first paintings it does sound like his wife gave her (grandaughter) a chance to work as a artist. I didn't see the interview on Oprah but it reads as if she was really criticizing what he did with his money and publicly declaring what she would do if she has controll of a portion of it and that she felt entitled to controll of it. The article also eludes to the fact that Mr Buffet might not have been planing to give her and her sister as much as they think they were entitled to. It makes me wonder if there were any conversations to the effect of " well no grandpa I don't have a retirement plan but I'll my share of THE BUFFET FORTUNE by the time I'm 60"   It just feels like there's a lot of backstory.

I have to agree. Ok, his son adopted her, but the marriage lasted for 3 years. How much contact did they have after that? Was it as constant as a real divorced father or did he see them once a year? Some of her comments did come off as entitled such as complaining that she felt "excluded" from the money. It's not her money to be "excluded" from! And to interview for a second movie after she knew that the first one upset him just seems like throwing it back into his face.

In the end, this is a relationship issue, not an etiquette one by any means.

[Hanna]

This article says Peter adopted her when she was 18 and that she spent "most Christmases' with Buffet between the ages of 4-11. Plus Spring Break in a home he didn't live in. He paid her living expenses until she was 28.

I think saying he didn't consider her his Grandchild is somewhat less harsh when reflected in that light.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB120371859381786725.html

[Hanna]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xhuNZ5h9xo4

"People either come from a place of Love or Fear"

[CG]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xhuNZ5h9xo4

"People either come from a place of Love or Fear"

Based on the clip Oprah showed, if I were her grandfather, I'd be so P.O.ed.  She basically called him a coward who's too scared of losing his money to share it with his family after he paid for her entire education.