Author Topic: Baby Shower Through the Mail?  (Read 5421 times)

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jimithing

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Re: Baby Shower Through the Mail?
« Reply #15 on: June 27, 2007, 07:55:56 PM »
We did this for my sister when she was expecting her first child.  She was living in Germany (military) and we were all in Alaska so throwing her a shower with all of us there was just not an option (our father was nearing the end of his terminal illnes).
 We had a wrapping party. It was strictly family and 2 close friends who are considered family, about 7 total.  We brought our gifts unwrapped and showed each other what we got.  My aunt took photos of everyone wrapping and we boxed everything together and shipped at once.  My older sister put together a little album of the photos for her to open last. 
We arranged for some of her friends to be at her place when the packages arrived with some refreshments and they brought there gifts at that time as well. 

I feel given our circumstances, this was our only option to celebrate for her before my nephew was born. 

I think that this is a nice, thoughtful way to handle it.  In your case, all of your sister's family and friends were together and doing a great, thoughtful thing for her.  The situation with my friend's invite as there is none of this kind of thoughtfulness or hospitality shown.  It's basically, here's where she's registered, send a present by the due date.  If all of the friends in the area got together to do pictures, etc., and came up with the idea together I think it would be great and perfectly acceptable.

hot_shaker

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Re: Baby Shower Through the Mail?
« Reply #16 on: June 29, 2007, 11:18:23 AM »
We did this for my sister when she was expecting her first child.  She was living in Germany (military) and we were all in Alaska so throwing her a shower with all of us there was just not an option (our father was nearing the end of his terminal illnes).
 We had a wrapping party. It was strictly family and 2 close friends who are considered family, about 7 total.  We brought our gifts unwrapped and showed each other what we got.  My aunt took photos of everyone wrapping and we boxed everything together and shipped at once.  My older sister put together a little album of the photos for her to open last. 
We arranged for some of her friends to be at her place when the packages arrived with some refreshments and they brought there gifts at that time as well. 

I feel given our circumstances, this was our only option to celebrate for her before my nephew was born. 

I think that this is a nice, thoughtful way to handle it.  In your case, all of your sister's family and friends were together and doing a great, thoughtful thing for her.  The situation with my friend's invite as there is none of this kind of thoughtfulness or hospitality shown.  It's basically, here's where she's registered, send a present by the due date.  If all of the friends in the area got together to do pictures, etc., and came up with the idea together I think it would be great and perfectly acceptable.

Also, it sounds like you and your family initiated the event, not your sister.  I think that's what makes this the most tacky.  I've mailed a baby shower gift before but I also got a proper invite to a actual party.  Not just a card saying "send gifts."



Here's my slightly related question that I have about baby showers thrown by the MTB (or FTB, I guess):

If a friend of mine is having a baby (1st or otherwise), I'm going to send her (or him) a gift for the baby just to show that I care.  The amount of the gift might vary based on my own finances, which number child (so a 1st will get more than a 3rd), and my closeness to the parent.  If a couple has a shower they will get the gift then.  If they don't have a shower, they will get the gift after the baby is born.  Either way, I will buy a present.  I assume that I am not alone in this. 

So my question is why would one feel the need to host one's own shower?  You'll probably get the same number of gifts anyway (just a little later) so why put off your friends and family? 

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rmk1

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Re: Baby Shower Through the Mail?
« Reply #17 on: June 29, 2007, 11:38:32 AM »
My friend just received a baby shower "invitation" for a friend who recently moved several states away.  The invitation basically stated that since many mother-to-be's close friends were not nearby, that they were going to have a baby shower through the mail.  It lists several places where MTB is registered and specifically states that gift cards would be welcomed.  This in itself is tacky and poor etiquette.  But what about the general idea of the mail baby shower? 

I just found something on Marthastewart.com that mentions this as an idea, but she says that it would be a nice thoughtful gesture, not necessarily something that you send out invites for.  My friend thinks the whole idea is tacky, and I have to agree.  She said that she was going to send something anyway but now she may wait until after the baby is born (she's a little miffed over the whole thing.)

Also, the MTB is being thrown an in-person baby shower in her new hometown, so it's not like there is absolutely no one around to do this for her.  Is this in poor etiquette or are we just overreacting?

Yes, it's poor etiquette. Showers can only be in-person party events.

I have heard that various companies are now promoting their services to help coordinate through-the-mail "showers" of various types (yes, wedding too). There really seems to be no end to the etiquette nightmares some merchandizers will try to invent.

Ordelia

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Re: Baby Shower Through the Mail?
« Reply #18 on: June 30, 2007, 09:17:51 AM »
I asked my friend if she thought the MTB sanctioned it.  She said she would have had to because she would have had to provide the addresses.  I guess it's possible that the friend did not tell the MTB exactly what they were for and maybe the MTB thought that regular invitations were being sent to her friends. 


Please be kind to MTB and don't assume anything about her intentions. Your friend might want to talk to her and find out if she knows this is going on.

My BIL and his wife did something similar for me against my explicit wishes. I was tipped off by a friend and was horrified since in my family, we don't do showers or parties or gifts before the baby's born. We got a box of presents that I ended up sending to a friend's house for safekeeping until after the bambino was born. I'd hate to think someone thought I was awful enough to ask for one of these mail-shower tackyfests.

jimithing

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Re: Baby Shower Through the Mail?
« Reply #19 on: June 30, 2007, 12:48:14 PM »
Please be kind to MTB and don't assume anything about her intentions. Your friend might want to talk to her and find out if she knows this is going on.

My BIL and his wife did something similar for me against my explicit wishes. I was tipped off by a friend and was horrified since in my family, we don't do showers or parties or gifts before the baby's born. We got a box of presents that I ended up sending to a friend's house for safekeeping until after the bambino was born. I'd hate to think someone thought I was awful enough to ask for one of these mail-shower tackyfests.

I completely agree with this and my friend verified that the MTB is aware of the invitations being sent out and she has sanctioned it.