General Etiquette > All In A Day's Work

I'm your manager NOT your social secretary. Just call me Scrooge ( LONG -Sorry

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POF:
BACKGROUND

I used to take my dept out for a XMAS lunch. However - it started getting too expensive and out of hand and frankly the entitlement pigs were making me a little angry. One woman in particular (JILL )  would lobby / hint to go to the most $$$ restaurant in the city. ( We didn't - I was hostess and I picked the venue ) . Wherever we went - she would ask to see the dinner menu and order from that instead of the lunch menu. She would order appetizers / soup / dinner meal and dessert. Most of the meal she would wrap up.

One year - I had some significant cash flow problems ( dead car before XMAS , medical emergency, unexpected vet bills ). I decided to take the group to a restaurant that we ALL liked - but was a little more reasonable priced. Well JILL and one or two others -  did nothing but complain and make comments about how cheap I was ! At the copier outside my office in earshot of both my secretary and I.

That ended the XMAS lunch and frankly I don't do anything any more.

PRESENT DAY

Since I stopped the lunch a few years ago - JILL will bring up frequently ( insert whine ) aren't we having a XMAS party ? My standard reply is yes - Our company sponsors a catered lunch and festivites - that's our party. Of course she will then say - but Aren't you taking us out ? I repeat - no, that's not possible this year.

Some departments ( larger ones with 20 - 30 employees ) having there own XMAS party potluck lunch - JILL took a nutty and kept on about why we weren't invited ( um - it's not our department - it's not our party ). In fact - she was just planning to crash it.

She then continued to bring up incessantly that it would be NICE if our department did something for XMAS like go out to a fancy lunch. I finally told her that I had overheard the discussion where I was called cheap and frankly it hurt my feelings. Her response was well - you were cheap that year  :o So I repeated to her what I have said for the past two years - you can plan a small event and I will pitch in $50. We can order out / do a combo potluck order or whatever - but you can organize and plan it. ( I am too busy - Year End Audt / 4th Qtr Board Meetings etc and my secretary left ).

Nope - she keeps saying that she thinks I should do it. I finally told her in no uncertain terms that I was not her social secretary and that this was getting in the way of work being done and that it was disruptive to everyone else.  She of course looks at me smugly and says Why do you always blow everything out of proportion ? . 

I have no objection to the holiday hoopla in the office but:

No, I am not planning it - I am running ragged with Christmas for Kids toy drive, the food drive for church and organizing a coat closet for the elementary school. 

No, I am not participating in a secret santa or any gift exchange - personally - I keep gifts to a minimun and try to emphasize other aspects of the holiday.

As a thank you to my staff - I think one of the greatest gifts this season is time - I give everyone 2 afternoons off ( their choice ) in December in order to get shopping done / prepare for the holidays or spend time with their kids.

Thanks to all of you lovely EHELLIONS -  I really kept my temper in check, and just kept lathering , rinseing and repeating.

Musicwoman:
Good gravy!!!  I can't begin to imagine speaking to my manager like that.  No wonder you don't feel like treating Jill to anything other than a good slapping.

Does she have "I want to commit career suicide" tattooed on her forehead, by any chance?

POF:
Jill ( not her real name )  is winding down to retirement..... she is a true entitlement princess. A few good examples:

She went to a wedding last summer for the son of one of her friends. The wedding was about a 2 - 3 hour drive away. She expressed astonishment that the bride and groom were not providing rooms for all of the guests! I thought you were supposed to provide accomodations for the guests if they had more than a 2 hour drive ?  ::)

She was completely put out when I asked her to stop making long distance calls at work but I am calling my son !  My response: was it an emergency well, no - but he's busy in the evenings - this is more convenient. I had long distance blocked from her phone.

She has one son - grown, no grandchildren. She has a nutty is she can not get the "prime vacation weeks" off ( XMAS / Thanksgiving / day before and after holidays ). She doesn't get them - we ALL rotate them. But I get to hear the whining .......

Well you get the drift .......

FoxPaws:

--- Quote ---Jill ( not her real name )  is winding down to retirement..... she is a true entitlement princess.
--- End quote ---

Please keep us posted. I cannot wait to hear what she thinks she is entitled to get when she retires.  ;)

The fact that she wasn't even embarrassed to be caught gossiping about her boss is telling - she really doesn't have a clue, does she? I think two afternoons off is very generous, and I'd appreciate that a lot more than lunch, but I can see how someone who thinks only of herself would be disappointed (shopping and decorating being things you do for others). I wonder if she's like this all the time? Maybe there is a reason her son is "busy" when she tries to call.

Lunadiana75:
Un-ruddy-believable! Let me just say, you sound like a very generous manager to me!  I have been on department sponsored lunches many times in my life.  I know it's coming out of someone's pocket so I order within reason (in fact managers usually tell me to order more LOL) and I always say thank you.  Two free afternoons off during the Christmas season?  Can I work for you?  Really.  Who piddled in this woman's cornflakes? 

I'm 31, but if I ever acted like that, and my parents found out, they would pop up out of nowhere and slap me into next Tuesday. 

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