I'm your manager NOT your social secretary. Just call me Scrooge ( LONG -Sorry

[EvilAlice]

Her standard response to any disciplinary meeting is - Your wrong - I didn't say that or " your are blowing it out of proportion".

"Jill.  Listen to me, and understand this.  I am your supervisor.  I define the "proportion."  If I say your conduct is out of line- it is. It is my JOB to tell you when you are out of line, and it is your job to listen.  If you disagree with my assessment, you are free to file a complaint.  But you are not free to argue with me.  Is that clear?"

[andi]

URGH - i hated managing people like that - if you tried to document it you wound up sounding like a nutcase or something.  but you did just want to smack the snot out of them.  I used to arrange all the potlucks and luncheons for my group for a while - at one point we had over 100 peolpe in our department - it's a lot of work and with such an attitude it's no wonder she whines and backs off.  and to just EXPECT to be taken out JUST because it's holidays???  i don't get that either

sheesh

oh - and the long distance thing:  i managed a group that had to call customers if  we were missing paperwork , so everyon had long distance access.  Part of my job was to track how many calls each person made as part of their work load.   The phone system documented the phone number called and the amount of time spent.  suddenly i noticed one phone number coming up over and over again on oen team member's phone log - turns out he was calling his mom long distance EVERY DAY when he got to work!  THis is a man in his 30's, married with kids!  When i asked him about it, he was stunned that it was a problem and said i was "anti family" and "there wasn't anything in the employee handbook about making long distance calls".  :banghead:

[Clara Bow]

"Jill, my finances are frankly none of your business. I've been handling my money myself for "x" years and I can continue to do so without your input. I'd like to change the subject now, as the matter is closed."
If she persists, I'd tell her that she was getting very close to insubordination and that my patience was wearing thin...
Then if she keeps it up, kill her. Politely of course, with your pinkies out and write the appropriate thank you notes afterwards.

[cheyne]

First of all, I think it was really great of you to take your department out for a Holiday lunch.  A supervisor is in NO way obligated to spend his/her own money on work subordinates.  It is too bad that Jill ruined it for the rest of them (but I agree with your stand on this luncheon). 

I am also a manager, but in a different kind of setting.  The conversation you stated that happened with Jill should not have gone that far at all.  She has no business "hinting" or asking you to foot the bill for a department X-mas lunch.  My reply would have been something along the lines of, "Jill, it's time for you to get back to work.  Please do not bring this up again, the issue is closed.  However, if you do bring this up again, I will be documenting it in your employee file and speaking to HR."  Then I would document that you had told her in no uncertain terms the issue was closed.  That way, you would have written documentation of both of the conversations on the issue as fodder for HR to finally do something about this person. 

You are her manager, not her mother, for goodness sake!

[Gwywnnydd]

Then if she keeps it up, kill her. Politely of course, with your pinkies out and write the appropriate thank you notes afterwards.

I'm SOOO glad I wasn't drinking anything when I read that! 
That is beautiful, can I quote that?

[Clara Bow]

Feel free...in all things one must observe the proper customs....

[minnaloushe]

Wow. She certainly feels comfortable in her position, doesn't she?

If she's nervy enough to bring it up again next year, don't let the little evel angel on your shoulder ask when she's retiring, then tell her that you'll bring back the Christmas Lunch the year after.

Or you could set a dollar limit for the lunch. One of my old managers was very by the book and our spending limit for the Year End lunch/dinner/whatever was whatever was in the budget for R&R.  So if she had $20/pp that was it. You could order whatever you wanted, provided you paid the difference. But I suppose the "cheap" comments would still be thrown around if you did that.

You sound like a very kind and thoughtful employer to me. She should try working for someone who wouldn't tolerate her shenanigans.

[Suze]

Or you could set a dollar limit for the lunch. One of my old managers was very by the book and our spending limit for the Year End lunch/dinner/whatever was whatever was in the budget for R&R.  So if she had $20/pp that was it. You could order whatever you wanted, provided you paid the difference. But I suppose the "cheap" comments would still be thrown around if you did that.

You could hand them all a nice crisp $20.00 bill and take them all out and get seperate checks. Order what you want but that is the "company limit" on meals, and you will have to pay for the rest of your bill yourself.