Author Topic: Using euphenisms  (Read 3817 times)

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DottyG

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Re: Using euphenisms
« Reply #15 on: January 12, 2011, 05:13:21 PM »
Co-worker A and I aren't the same political parties, but she sends me extreme emails reflecting the viewpoint of hers.

You don't have to make it as long as what you typed.  And, still avoid the euphemisms.

There's no need to do euphemisms in the above case, because the same point really can be conveyed without them.  Adding them in does, as many here have said, get really confusing after a while - and there's no need for it.  Who cares if you're Purple and she's Orange?  The true fact is that you differ.  Period.

« Last Edit: January 12, 2011, 05:15:38 PM by DottyG »

Brentwood

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Re: Using euphenisms
« Reply #16 on: January 12, 2011, 06:12:21 PM »
Co-worker A and I aren't the same political parties, but she sends me extreme emails reflecting the viewpoint of hers.

You don't have to make it as long as what you typed.  And, still avoid the euphemisms.

There's no need to do euphemisms in the above case, because the same point really can be conveyed without them.  Adding them in does, as many here have said, get really confusing after a while - and there's no need for it.  Who cares if you're Purple and she's Orange?  The true fact is that you differ.  Period.



That's the crux of it for me - the point is that the people differ. Not how or why they differ.

kareng57

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Re: Using euphenisms
« Reply #17 on: January 12, 2011, 09:32:35 PM »
It's my understanding that the fruit/colors/whatever are used when it is obvious that naming the race or religion would cause the thread to be closed - but the fact that there is a distinction between the races/religions is vital to the story.

However, I'll say that I, usually, skip over the threads using them.  It is simply way too difficult to understand threads that use them.  I realize that there is a reason why we don't specify "this person was white and that person was Hispanic".  But, saying "this person was an orange and that one was a banana" just really does not make sense and is too confusing to try to keep up with.



I find it rather confusing as well - especially if there are several individuals involved, all with their own euphenism-code.

But what I find especially confusing is when the poster doesn't even identify whether it's a political party, religious group, or ethnic group - just says "I'm an Apple, she's a Peach" etc.  I too usually just skip over those posts since I'm at a loss as how to possibly respond.

smidget23

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Re: Using euphenisms
« Reply #18 on: January 12, 2011, 09:50:23 PM »
I'm slightly on the fence about them. I do feel slight pangs of annoyance at the euphemisms. I occasionally feel like I spend more time trying to figure out what they stand for so that I can better advise the OP. More often than not I will just back out of the thread entirely. However there are exceptions to that where the poster has made everything clear in the OP. So maybe my issue isn't the euphemisms themselves, but in how they're used.
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TaylorMade

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Re: Using euphenisms
« Reply #19 on: January 12, 2011, 10:00:42 PM »
The reason some people use euphemisms are because of the following:

http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=2.0

From the Forum Rules Thread:

Politics and religion:  Discussions on politics and religion are not typically germane to this forum. The caveat to this rule is when discussions of politics or religious beliefs or practices can illuminate other people's understanding of different religions and cultures so that tolerance is promoted. However, most political comments fail to meet that standard so it is probably best to not get political at all.  When discussing etiquette as it relates to politics or religion, the more general the better.  Specific rants about specific politicians, political parties or religions are not permitted on the forum.

The decision as to whether a political or religious thread is appropriate or not lies with the moderators.  Political sigs and political nicknames are also forbidden. If you registered with the ID of "PoliticalPartyXSucksTwinkies", oh, well....it looks like you won't be posting on Ehell.  The Etiquette Hell Blog exists to provide a specific venue for the discussion of politics and religion.


People are trying to be as general as possible because they don't want to be seen as breaking any rules.   There are a many threads that don't generalize though, and they are fine because they are generally the religious ones, not political.   I think I read a response from a mod or Dame about how no one on eHell should know anothers political party, it is just not relevant to the topic of etiquette.

Wendy Moira Angela Pan

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Re: Using euphenisms
« Reply #20 on: January 12, 2011, 10:04:35 PM »
I think people use euphemisms because it makes them feel more comfortable. Either to protect their privacy or to feel sure that they are not violating any forum rules. That seems reasonable to me.

Spoder

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Re: Using euphenisms
« Reply #21 on: January 12, 2011, 10:41:47 PM »

But what I find especially confusing is when the poster doesn't even identify whether it's a political party, religious group, or ethnic group - just says "I'm an Apple, she's a Peach" etc.  I too usually just skip over those posts since I'm at a loss as how to possibly respond.
[/quote]

I agree.

I understand why posters use euphemisms, and I think they have a place. It makes sense not to start a thread with 'I'm a Catholic and my MIL is a Protestant', because the chances of not violating the forum rules about religion/politics go right downhill from there.

However, so that the thread still makes sense, I think it's preferable to say 'My MIL and I are different religions; let's say she's a Pink and I'm a Yellow'.

I'd be interested to know what the mods think about this (besides what's already posted in the forum rules, of course).

Wendy Moira Angela Pan

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Re: Using euphenisms
« Reply #22 on: January 12, 2011, 10:51:09 PM »
I agree with you, Spoder, for the most part. But there's one thread around here where the OP is talking about some issues that have arisen from her child being a minority at school. I don't think it matters if she's referring to nationality, ethnicity, religion, skin color, or what have you. That part isn't really relevant to the discussion and could derail the thread or cause it to get overheated. People are sensitive about things like that, and it can be hard to check your sensitivities and baggage about certain things. Sometimes a thread gets completely derailed and locked for getting too heated, and the OP doesn't get much advice on the real issue.

Dindrane

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Re: Using euphenisms
« Reply #23 on: January 12, 2011, 11:11:50 PM »
Personally, I think the best reason to use euphemisms like these is when you have a complex issue, you need to illustrate two opposing behaviors or viewpoints, and you don't really want to discuss your specific viewpoint.

So for example, if you have an issue that requires a lot of explanation, and it is related to the fact that the OP is a Methodist, but her SIL is a Lutheran...it might make a lot of sense for the OP to instead identify as an apple, and call her SIL a pear.  Because if the OP isn't really interested in talking about Methodist beliefs, even in a polite and general way, the best way to avoid that is to just not identify herself as Methodist.

Since everything posted on the forum is fair game, it might be desirable to obscure highly personal details like that, even if the risk of anyone turning it into a debate about the detail itself is quite low.

I do think that if you have an etiquette question that involves a detail you don't really want to discuss, the best thing to do is to simply leave it out of the question.  But sometimes, that detail is so integral to the situation that leaving it out would just not be possible.  Usually, my personal answer to that situation is to just not post at all, but I can understand why someone might just try to be vague about what religions (or whatever) they are talking about.

Plus, I sometimes think that using euphemisms can serve to broaden the discussion.  Talking about Purples and Oranges allows people to fill in the blanks however they like, even if it has no resemblance to the situation the OP was talking about.


Hanna

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Re: Using euphenisms
« Reply #24 on: January 13, 2011, 12:37:51 AM »
I kind of like them.  :)
and I agree with this:
Plus, I sometimes think that using euphemisms can serve to broaden the discussion.  Talking about Purples and Oranges allows people to fill in the blanks however they like, even if it has no resemblance to the situation the OP was talking about.

shhh its me

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Re: Using euphenisms
« Reply #25 on: January 13, 2011, 01:26:08 AM »
  Sometimes the euphemisms can obscure some points and would/may change answers, the wallpaper addict who was upset when others went to home improvement stores or spoke of redocrating.  Well it's a little different if a alcoholic say " I care about you and I noticed you go the bar 3 nights a week" or even "bars are evil" vs a person addicted to pain meds who chastised people for going to pharmacies to buy shampoo. BTW I"m still tyring to figure what redorating could have been.  What the addiction would not have changed my answer that thread it was just the first one I could think of, that with some minnor change in circumstance would have effected my answer      I've also seen thread that posters had to answer well if widgets mean a race then this ,but if widgets mean a nationality then such and such , then again if widgets means a religion totally different answer.

I don't mind euphemisms that eliminating have to repeat "other political party","the party my FIL belongs to" over and over when there is a lot of background and/or actions.

Nurvingiel

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Re: Using euphenisms
« Reply #26 on: January 13, 2011, 01:36:06 AM »
I often find euphamisms silly not extraneous but this usually doesn't drive me away from a thread.

There are two elements to this thread. Firstly, it is part of the forum rules not to name specific parties or engage in political discussion. Secondly, it is part of the forum rules not to derail threads with non-etiquette issues such as debates about contention cultural or religions issues.

People often use euphamisms to avoid potential thread-derailing debate. The general use of euphamisms has also become part of the board culture; it's something that not everyone does, but most people understand what people are doing and why when posters use euphamisms.

Lastly, it's difficult to write clearly and concicely while remaing appropriate vague about contentious issues. It's simply easier to replace all references to a specific political party with the name of a fruit than it is to write plainly with no mention of the party's name.

I much prefer plain writing, but I can understand the use of euphamisms. I've noticed that the trend on the board has started to move away from using euphamisms (except where necessary) and I have to say that I like it. :)
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aventurine

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Re: Using euphenisms
« Reply #27 on: January 13, 2011, 01:48:58 AM »
I agree with starsaphire. I don't find the euphemisms confusing.

Neither me.  Using initials for friends/family, if it's more than just a couple .. now that will lose me quick.




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MariaE

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Re: Using euphenisms
« Reply #28 on: January 13, 2011, 03:02:11 AM »
I agree with starsaphire. I don't find the euphemisms confusing.

I usually don't either. However, it does both annoy and confuse me when it's not clear what the euphemisms are referring to (here I don't mean the specific thing obviously, but just whether we're talking religion, race, nationality, politics or something else entirely). Sometimes it doesn't matter - such as in gui's post - but most often it does, and then it's really frustrating not to know, as it might change my answer completely.

In those cases, I tend to skip the posts.
 
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TurtleDove

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Re: Using euphenisms
« Reply #29 on: January 13, 2011, 06:37:31 AM »
I think in gui's post the specfics DO matter, as evidenced in the responses.  I doubt many people are confused what "Orange" and "Purple" actually refer to in that thread, and the responses show that some people think etiquette differs depending on whether the "ignored DD" is of a "majority culturally" or "minority culturally."  In my opinion, euphemisms do not solve anything.