Management notices and hilariously bad spelling/grammar

[jaxsue]

Other threads reminded me of this. I live in a huge high rise. There are 2 buildings, 18 stories each. I'm not sure of the total no. of apartments, but there are several hundred. These are considered luxury apartments, with several sports and business celebrities as tenants (I'm not one of them!). So, the management isn't small potatoes.

it is well known that whoever makes up notices is a horrific speller. It is always entertaining to see what mistakes the front office can come up with. FTR, the person who writes these is a native english-speaker.

Some of the most recent examples:

Please do not put Christmass trees down the trash shute

No parking on the upper garage level. So the the snow can be plowed. See the front desk for a covered parking spot. First come, first serve.

I'll add more as they appear. 

[Wonderflonium]

At my old job, we once got an e-mail warning us to watch out for falling "icecycles."

[ettiquit]

At my old job, we once got an e-mail warning us to watch out for falling "icecycles."

I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want to be hit on the head with an ice cycle either!

[o_gal]

We often get mass distribution emails (large AF base) warning of dangerous "lighting" or "lightening" when there are thunderstorms in our area 

[siamesecat2965]

My mom is still on the email list for the HOA for her old house, so during the big Christmas blizzard she got a long, rambling, not at all gramatically correct email about snow removal.  you really had to read it a couple of times to figure out what they were trying to say!

I also got one a couple years back, from my apt management, letting us know that the phone company was going to be coming in, and wiring all apts for their new phone, tv and internet service (this was contracted by management so not an option to opt out).  It was so poorly written, but the funniest part was they they said they would be placing the box on the RIGHT side of the closet, just inside the door. 

maybe its me, but I took that to mean the side as you are facing the closet from outside....and they asked us to make sure that area was clear. Which I did.  Then I came home to find they had put it on the OPPOSITE side, the right side if you were in the closet.

[Vall]

I worked in a company once where we received a memo saying that if we didn't document the process properly we would be fried (rather than fired).  Spell check doesn't catch everything.

[Morty'sCleaningLady]

My place is pretty dull in comparison.

Our most recent memo was "Thank to all who helped dig out in December's blizzard."  Just missing an S on thanks.

Jaxsue, how wide is that trash chute?  At my last place with a chute it wasn't wide enough for anything but a plastic bag for the grocery store.  (8 gallon kitchen garbage bags were too big.)

[Hmmmmm]

My favorite was years ago at a company I worked for.  An employee had a goldfish bowl in his cube.  An email notice went out from building management that there were to be no fish "bowels" in offices or cubes.  This was 20 years ago and email was just starting to really take off.  That poor email was hilariously forwarded for months with additions of all the different types of bowels that were not allowed in offices and cubes and the health and emotional concerns of having bowels in a office. 

[sickgirl13]

Fish bowels...that is too funny!! 

[Lorelei_Evil]

I worked in a company once where we received a memo saying that if we didn't document the process properly we would be fried (rather than fired).  Spell check doesn't catch everything.

Quite a serious threat.  Were they shallow frying or deep frying the offenders?   

We usually just have random apostrophe abuse and your when it should be you're in my office.  It still drives me potty.

[DottyG]

At my old job, we once got an e-mail warning us to watch out for falling "icecycles."

Owww!

[DottyG]

I worked in a company once where we received a memo saying that if we didn't document the process properly we would be fried

OWWWWWWWW!!!

[Hunter-Gatherer]

I got a notice at work that said what the current day's meeting would be about, and then went on to say something about the remaining meetings... unfortunately, instead of remaining meetings, they actually typed "reaming meetings".

[Jan74]

Depending on how hostile the meetings are, they could indeed be "reaming meetings". 

[jaxsue]

Jaxsue, how wide is that trash chute?  At my last place with a chute it wasn't wide enough for anything but a plastic bag for the grocery store.  (8 gallon kitchen garbage bags were too big.)


The chutes (aka shutes) aren't tiny, a large kitchen trash bag is about it, but there's no way you could fit anything but a tiny Xmas tree down them. I imagine one resident tried, and management decided to let everyone know not to do it.

General comment: I'm loving the posts. I'm getting a good laugh.