Management notices and hilariously bad spelling/grammar

[Poirot]

At our private club - to purchase tickets, see bartneder. 

[lilfox]

A sign in my friends' apartment building, about upcoming office closures:

(Small print)  Office will be closed on Dec x due to all staff meeting

(Large print)                 THANKS FOR COMING!!

(Small print)  The management wishes you happy holidays!



Er, huh?

Also, I did not catch that the iPad autocorrect changed my MIL's name to "Trash" in several emails.  Fortunately this was pointed out to me before I ever emailed her directly!  (FTR I love my MIL, we have a great relationship.)

[EmsMommy]

We used to have a horrible speller at our building's management office too!  I used to cringe whenever a new memo would show up on the elevator.  We've since gotten a great new building manager who knows how to spell. 

However, we got a memo issued by the city recently due to some construction that would be occurring by our parking garage.  It ended with the line "We apologize for any convenience this may cause".  INDEED!

I'll go you one better

Note coming down from management that ended in :

"We are sorry for any incontinence."

We must have the same boss!!!  If it's spelled correctly & contains no grammatical errors, it's not really from him.  Shortly after starting I was looking through our folders & asked if we had a person named Manuel working with us.  He replied with "no, why?"  "Well, all of our office manuals are in "Manuel's" folder."     That typo still isn't fixed.

[Paper Roses]

Our kitchen at work has a sign on the door that says, "Please make sure this door is close."

I so want to go up there and write, "Close to what?"

[Little Jo]

Unauthorised tresspassers will be prosecuted? Will authorized ones be ok?

[Elfmama]

A sign posted in a yard: "Rotwiller" puppie's 4 sail.

Yes, the quote marks were in the original.

I think the sign printer must have worked for the local grocery store.  They quite frequently had "fresh" apple's.

[ettiquit]

A sign posted in a yard: "Rotwiller" puppie's 4 sail.

Yes, the quote marks were in the original.

I think the sign printer must have worked for the local grocery store.  They quite frequently had "fresh" apple's.

That reminds me of an episode of Friends where Joey doesn't know how to use air quotes correctly.


My son's school's official handbook that contains all of their policies and such uses the "word" irregardless.   

[geordicat]

The apartment complex I lived at several years ago was notorious for handing out last minute notices.  Like when the water would be shut off, or they would enter the apartment.  Apparently they could put a notice on my door at 5 pm informing me that they would be entering at 8 am the next day and that was '24 hours.'

The notice that sticks in my mind was the one when our water was shut off unexpectedly.  Everyone went to the office to find out what was going on, and the notice on the door was "The water has been shut off due to construction in the street.  If you have any questions, please contact the office.  The office will be closed until further notice."

TWO DAYS with no water.

[gramma dishes]

I worked in a company once where we received a memo saying that if we didn't document the process properly we would be fried (rather than fired).  

Wow!  That place had some really extreme disciplinary tactics!  LOL!   It's bad enough to be fired, but being cooked in hot oil? 

[loomadoom]

I used to work at a large state hospital. Over the entrance to one building, carved in stone (well, probably cast in concrete) was "GERAITRIC BUILDING".

They're gonna need a lot of Wite-Out.

[geordicat]

I used to work at a large state hospital. Over the entrance to one building, carved in stone (well, probably cast in concrete) was "GERAITRIC BUILDING".

They're gonna need a lot of Wite-Out.

or spackle 

[JoanOfArc]

I worked at a group home.  All the kitchen cabinets were labeled with their contents.  Except one.  It was labeled "Bowels."

[gramma dishes]

I worked at a group home.  All the kitchen cabinets were labeled with their contents.  Except one.  It was labeled "Bowels."

LOL! 

[PaintingPastelPrincess]

A handful of my coworkers completely lack the ability to use the correct verb tense.  Additionally, it's apparently difficult to differentiate singular and plural words, and the most unlikey things have gotten quite possessive.  These are all from native English speakers, FTR.  From my email this morning:

"I thought I'd sent an email so were all on the same page."

"is it is a PART specifying?"

"I'm coping our weekend crew on this email so they/he/she could help clear this over the weekend when you respond."

"The one's Ive done are supply shipment's."

[Reuth]

I need to resurrect this thread to tell you about the sign I just saw at a florist shop, advertising  "BOKAYS" for sale.