Hello Lovely E-Hellions,
I've been absent from the forums for a while, te reasons for which are below, but find myself in need of etiquette help.
B/G Just before Christmas my fiance left me. We'd had a wedding date, we had vendors and everything was sorted. And then it all came crashing down and I had a total meltdown. In the time between then and now I have discovered just how awesome some of my friends are - I couldn't ask for more from some of them. However, it seems that I have exposed a lot of fairweather friends - happy to be around when things are going well, and more than happy to tell me their problems (this is not a problem, I love my friends and would do anything to help them), but when I needed them they mysteriously disappeared, or continued to tell me all of their problems. Which was not something I could handle, as well as my own.
Most of these I have been able to cut from my life, as I have found that I have wonderful friends who both give and take, and I don't need those who drain me.
However, one friend 'K' is very closely entwined in my main group of close (wonderful) friends, and so I can't avoid her or make a clean cut.
After my engagement broke down I never heard anything from her, other than when she wanted to complain about her boyfriend, or make offhand comments about how much I was overreacting etc etc B/G
So, 'K' got engaged a few nights ago, and she is bombarding me with texts and emails and phone calls asking me about wedding suppliers, venues, all the information I could give her about weddings. I know that she's excited, I remember the feeling. But there are so many people she can talk to, and I just don't want to talk about it bar offering my congratulations - which I have done.
The subject is still so sore for me, but she is getting so angry at me for not 'being over it already' and jumping every time she tells me to. I have stopped replying to her texts, emails etc, after trying the approach 'Look, I'm happy for you but this is not something I am happy talking about right now.' I'm not sure she'd apprciate me breaking down while I give her photographer details anyway.
But tomorrow there is a party and we are both going to go. I can cope with the obligatory 'oooh' and 'aaah' over the engagement ring, but I can't cope with being hounded for information that makes me want to cry just thinking about it.
I had to find it all out for myself - so I don't see why she can't do the same...
I run the risk of being cast as 'the bad guy', for refusing to help her, but I just don't want to talk about anything to do with weddings, and certainly not to her...