Kate and William to ask for charity donations - in invitations?!

[veryfluffy]

According to the Sunday Telegraph gossip columnist, not only are Kate Middleton and William going to ask guests to donate to their favourite charities instead of giving them gifts, they are going to so so in the invitations:

 "When the invitations are issued, they will have some kind of instruction on how to make a donation to a charity chosen by the couple," says a senior royal aide. (Who is left anonymous!)

Can we believe this? Could this be true? Does being "royalty" make this acceptable? If it is true, will the fact that it was done by royalty make it etiquettely correct for others in future? Or could the gossip columnist be making this up?

[Sharnita]

Maybe "misinformed"?

[MissRose]

I have no issues with celebs asking for charitable donations in lieu of gifts.

I am sure they will get plenty of gifts anyways, as not all people will make a donation. Being royal and famous doesn't exempt their families & friends from giving them wedding gifts.

Many celebs ask their fans to give to a cause or charity instead of giving gifts for Xmas, Birthday, or throwing things onstage at a concert.  Perhaps they think they have all what they need and don't need to fill their homes with items they may never use.

[Sharnita]

I have no issues with celebs asking for charitable donations in lieu of gifts.

I am sure they will get plenty of gifts anyways, as not all people will make a donation. Being royal and famous doesn't exempt their families & friends from giving them wedding gifts.

Many celebs ask their fans to give to a cause or charity instead of giving gifts for Xmas, Birthday, or throwing things onstage at a concert.  Perhaps they think they have all what they need and don't need to fill their homes with items they may never use.

I think the point is that it isn't suppposed to be in the invite, any more than the registry info is.

[Lisbeth]

I have no issues with celebs asking for charitable donations in lieu of gifts.

I am sure they will get plenty of gifts anyways, as not all people will make a donation. Being royal and famous doesn't exempt their families & friends from giving them wedding gifts.

Many celebs ask their fans to give to a cause or charity instead of giving gifts for Xmas, Birthday, or throwing things onstage at a concert.  Perhaps they think they have all what they need and don't need to fill their homes with items they may never use.

Being a celeb doesn't make this acceptable.

[Shoo]

I think William and Kate are in a pretty unique situation.  We're not talking about your average bride and groom here.  The sheer volume of gifts this couple can expect -- including from complete strangers -- is enormous.

In their situation, and only in their situation, I think making this pre-emptive strike makes sense.  It may not be etiquettely approved 99.99% of the time, but in this case, I think it's probably for the best.

[Jan74]

Maybe they will just make a press release about it, but not actually put it in the invites. Which would be more effective against the perfect, uninvited strangers who might just wanna send a gift anyway.

[Hushabye]

I'd put a whole lot more credence in said report coming from someone other than a gossip columnist and a source other than an anonymous one.

[Lisbeth]

I think William and Kate are in a pretty unique situation.  We're not talking about your average bride and groom here.  The sheer volume of gifts this couple can expect -- including from complete strangers -- is enormous.

In their situation, and only in their situation, I think making this pre-emptive strike makes sense.  It may not be etiquettely approved 99.99% of the time, but in this case, I think it's probably for the best.

Hard to say.  There are many people in the world who could receive huge amounts of gifts that they don't know what to do with.  For some people, receiving one is one too many.

I actually think that royalty have even more of a need to practice good etiquette than the average person, just because they serve as role models and examples.  I think, unfortunately, that this could give people the idea that royalty doing this makes it acceptable for them to do so.

[MadMadge43]

I think the "not asking for presents" is circular ettiquette logic and I'm ok with them doing what they want, as long as it's not outright asking for gifts.

I remember the massive amounts of gifts Diana and Charles recieved. I actually think it's a nice sign of the times how this generation doesn't see that as acceptable anymore.

[MariaE]

Can somebody in the UK confirm that it is bad etiquette there? The reason I ask is that in Denmark it is considered good etiquette to provide wishwist informations with the invitation.

That aside, like Shoo I would give them a pass.

[stargazer]

I think the major problem I have with this is that it said they are asking for donations to a specific charity.  What if someone has a specific objection against that charity?  We have seen many times on this board why donating money to a charity in someone else's name is a bad idea.  If they said something like "In leui of gifts, we would like to request you make a donation to your favorite charity instead", it still doesn't sound like a great idea, but at least better.

[MaggieB]

I think that asking for donations to charity in lieu of gifts is fine.  It sounds like there will be a few choices listed, and I doubt any of them will be controversial.  But there's just no need to do it in the invitation.  Especially if you're William and Kate and every word out of your mouth is international news.

They will be asked so many times about wedding presents that it will be easy for them to spread the word in a polite way.  Including any mention of gifts in an invitation is just not polite.

[Sharnita]

I think that asking for donations to charity in lieu of gifts is fine.  It sounds like there will be a few choices listed, and I doubt any of them will be controversial.  But there's just no need to do it in the invitation.  Especially if you're William and Kate and every word out of your mouth is international news.

They will be asked so many times about wedding presents that it will be easy for them to spread the word in a polite way.  Including any mention of gifts in an invitation is just not polite.

I think it is hard to find a charity that nobody finds controversial.

[Jan74]

But I doubt people who find the charities supported by royals controversial support the royalty in the first place.