Author Topic: When should a poster STOP trying to convince everyone else?  (Read 9669 times)

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Shoo

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When should a poster STOP trying to convince everyone else?
« on: January 16, 2011, 01:35:47 PM »
I haven't ever seen this topic discussed before, but if it has been, I apologize.

There are many threads I would like to respond in, but don't for the simple fact that there are one or two posters in them who apparently feel like they need to rebut every single other post that doesn't agree with them.

It seems to me that after someone has made their point, stated their opinion, and there is absolutely no doubt about what they think, they need to stop rebutting every post that doesn't line up with them.

I try to read through every thread before I post in it, but honestly?  I just give up about half way through a lot of them because the same poster(s) come back time after time after time after time to say the same thing over and over, as if repeating it to infinity will magically make everyone else agree with them.

I think that this is rude behavior for an etiquette forum, but to give them the benefit of the doubt, I also (hope) think they just don't realize how they're coming across.

Maybe I'm wrong headed on this wrong.  But I believe there comes a point where your point has been made, everyone's aware of it, so it's time to stop trying to persuade everyone else that you're right.

DangerMouth

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Re: When should a poster STOP trying to convince everyone else?
« Reply #1 on: January 16, 2011, 01:47:52 PM »
It's an endurance thing :D

Sometimes people just want to have the last word, and when you have 2 or more of these, you can get a lot of intense back and forth. And sometimes people just bug you, and may get under your skin to the point where you can't let that last bit of nonsense pass unchallenged. (all 'you's general, of course ;))

Somethimes, I think it's pretty instructive to see how people who vehemently disagree, can continue to do so politely.

JMO, of course. And that's another thing. It seems like most of these wouldn't be quite such an issue if people were more careful to say, IME, IMO, etc. It's the sweeping proculation that "My opinion is the correct one" that gets people's hackles up, IME :)

ShadesOfGrey

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Re: When should a poster STOP trying to convince everyone else?
« Reply #2 on: January 16, 2011, 01:56:15 PM »
I think in a discussion it's important to comment on many people's ideas and thoughts, personally. Everyone has a slightly different perspective, after all. 

If it's one person repeating the same sentence over and over, that's one thing, and I agree it gets annoying pretty quickly.  But if they're taking into consideration the opinion they are responding to, and offering additional analysis or reasoning, or even responding to that (slightly different) differring analysis, then I dont really have a problem with it.

I think sometimes posters have a difficult time telling the difference between the two, imo, based on my reading of some of the threads. 

I think if you have a probelem with reasoned debate, even intense or back-and-forth debate, you really shouldnt be posting on a discussion forum, kwim?
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Lisbeth

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Re: When should a poster STOP trying to convince everyone else?
« Reply #3 on: January 16, 2011, 01:57:28 PM »
It's IMO a hazard of any group, especially one where "debate" is encouraged, that there are going to be situations where there are holdouts or people trying to get in the last word. Some people are argumentative by nature.

I don't think disagreeing in itself is rude, but. here in this forum, it's up to the moderators to decide if someone's being rude, and I don't think they're going to make that decision based on the fact that the poster in question has a very small minority opinion.
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Shoo

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Re: When should a poster STOP trying to convince everyone else?
« Reply #4 on: January 16, 2011, 02:10:32 PM »
They may have the majority opinion.  I'm not sure it matters which side of the discussion they're on, really.

I just know that I won't even join in the discussion if I see that one or two posters are inserting themselves into every other single post.  I mean, I want to know what others think, of course!  But if I already know what someone thinks, do I really have to read about it 15 or 20 more times?

Maybe it's not rude, and it's just a personal peeve of mine.

DangerMouth

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Re: When should a poster STOP trying to convince everyone else?
« Reply #5 on: January 16, 2011, 02:29:49 PM »
They may have the majority opinion.  I'm not sure it matters which side of the discussion they're on, really.

I just know that I won't even join in the discussion if I see that one or two posters are inserting themselves into every other single post.  I mean, I want to know what others think, of course!  But if I already know what someone thinks, do I really have to read about it 15 or 20 more times?

Maybe it's not rude, and it's just a personal peeve of mine.

Sometimes I pretend I have an 'ignore this poster' button, and just skip that person's posts :)

aventurine

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Re: When should a poster STOP trying to convince everyone else?
« Reply #6 on: January 16, 2011, 02:36:15 PM »
FWIW, Shoo, I know what you're talking about, and I agree.  It's so tedious.  I'm not an argumentative person, and I find these "debates" tiresome once they go past the point of instruction and devolve into posters bludgeoning each other with their opinion.  But that's my issue and I own it.  I just kind of skim them, going blah-blah-blah to myself.  

I know it's the nature of the beast on this type of forum, but IMO, it never hurts to throw this perspective out there.  Maybe someone will recognize themselves and realize that, though this is not wrong or rude, it can be irksome to others.  Knowledge is never a bad thing, even if one chooses not to act on it.  




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TurtleDove

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Re: When should a poster STOP trying to convince everyone else?
« Reply #7 on: January 16, 2011, 02:58:01 PM »
Sometimes it seems the "problem" is that certain posters are "called out" and therefore feel they need to respond to the posts that specifically are specifically geared to the poster rather than the concept.

Scuba_Dog

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Re: When should a poster STOP trying to convince everyone else?
« Reply #8 on: January 16, 2011, 03:24:33 PM »
They may have the majority opinion.  I'm not sure it matters which side of the discussion they're on, really.

I just know that I won't even join in the discussion if I see that one or two posters are inserting themselves into every other single post.  I mean, I want to know what others think, of course!  But if I already know what someone thinks, do I really have to read about it 15 or 20 more times?

Maybe it's not rude, and it's just a personal peeve of mine.

It's a peeve of mine also.

Especially when the person will not only continue trying to convince people but when they quote and POD everyone that might agree with them, as if we don't already know that is their opinion.  Even worse when they quote and say something like, "stands up in applause!" or something to that effect.  I can't imagine doing or saying something like that in a real life setting.  It seems childish, like a veiled, "oh, snap!"

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aventurine

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Re: When should a poster STOP trying to convince everyone else?
« Reply #9 on: January 16, 2011, 04:47:09 PM »
"Discussion is impossible with someone who claims not to seek the truth, but already to possess it." ~ Romain Rolland


Lapis bought me a book on the Nobel laureates for Christmas.  I'm afraid I will be insufferable for quite some time, when I find a quote that applies.   ;D




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CrayonOutlines

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Re: When should a poster STOP trying to convince everyone else?
« Reply #10 on: January 16, 2011, 09:03:09 PM »
"Discussion is impossible with someone who claims not to seek the truth, but already to possess it." ~ Romain Rolland

Luh-huh-huh-hove this quote!  Thanks for sharing it, aventurine!

aventurine

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Re: When should a poster STOP trying to convince everyone else?
« Reply #11 on: January 16, 2011, 11:58:29 PM »
"Discussion is impossible with someone who claims not to seek the truth, but already to possess it." ~ Romain Rolland

Luh-huh-huh-hove this quote!  Thanks for sharing it, aventurine!

 :)  It is such a good book.




"A child of five could understand this.  Send someone to fetch a child of five." - Groucho Marx

katycoo

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Re: When should a poster STOP trying to convince everyone else?
« Reply #12 on: January 17, 2011, 04:57:20 AM »
I'm not sure about on this forum, but certainly on other forums, I've seen this manifest not so much out of a desire to have everyone agree with the poster, but rather that they don't think the others understand what they're saying.  If they got the angle, but disagreed, that's ok.  But its really frustrating when you can see that people just aren't getting what you're saying.

Nanny Ogg

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Re: When should a poster STOP trying to convince everyone else?
« Reply #13 on: January 17, 2011, 08:24:08 AM »
"Discussion is impossible with someone who claims not to seek the truth, but already to possess it." ~ Romain Rolland



This quote should be at the top of every single ehell forum lolz :D

I'm glad I'm not the only person who gets a bit annoyed when someone hijacks a thread to prove a point.



Shoo

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Re: When should a poster STOP trying to convince everyone else?
« Reply #14 on: January 17, 2011, 04:09:00 PM »
But its really frustrating when you can see that people just aren't getting what you're saying.

It's even more frustrating when someone insists that others aren't getting what they're saying when, in fact, the others simply disagree with what's being said.